Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996)

Kristofor Brown: Man on Plane, Man in Confession Booth #2, Old Guy, Jim

Quotes 

• Beavis : Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair. We've traveled, um, a hundred miles 'cause we thought we were gonna score. But now it's not gonna happen. Damn it!

  Bus Driver : Hey, buddy, sit down.

  Beavis : Shut up, ass-wipe! I'm sick and tired of this! We're never gonna score. It's just not gonna happen! We're just gonna get old like these people... but they've probably scored!

  Bus Driver : Hey, I'm warning you! SIT DOWN!

  Beavis : [motioning to Martha]  It's, like, this chick's a slut. And look at this guy. He's old, but he's probably scored a million times!

  Old Guy : [nodding]  Oh, yeah.

  Beavis : But not us. We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score!

  Bus Driver : [fed up with being disobeyed]  ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT, NUMB-NUTS!

  [tackles Beavis to the floor] 

• Butt-head : Do you know where Washington is?

  Man : [Pointing to the desert]  Uh, yeah. About two thousand miles that way.

  Butt-head : Cool.

  Beavis : Thanks.

• [in a church confession booth] 

  Man : I'm sorry. How many Hail Marys?

  Beavis : A thousand. And I want you to hit yourself, right now.

  Man : Um, now?

  Beavis : Yeah. Do it.

  [the man hits himself] 

  Beavis : Yeah, yeah, yeah. Harder.

• Flight attendant : [to another passenger]  Hi. We're serving dinner now. Our selections tonight are chicken piccata or seafood gumbo.

  Beavis : [raising his head a few rows in front]  Piccata, TP caca!

  Man : Uh, excuse me, does the gumbo have corn in it?

  Beavis : [now standing with his hands up and his T-shirt collar raised over his head]  I am Cornholio! I need piccata for my bunghole!

  Flight attendant : [to Beavis]  You'll have to wait your turn, sir.

  Beavis : Are you threatening me? My bunghole will not wait!

  Beavis : [walking off towards the cockpit]  Bungholio!