Cannibal! The Musical (1993)
Edward Henwood: O.D. Loutzenheiser, The Cyclops
Quotes
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George Noon : [interrupting the trappers' gruesome song about the joys of killing animals] Oh, stop!
James Humphrey : That's sick!
Frenchy Cabazon : I agree! Nutter was singing in the wrong key!
Preston Nutter : No I wasn't! It was Loutzenheiser! I was singing in E-flat minor.
Frenchy Cabazon : The song's in F-sharp major!
Shannon Bell : I think they're the same thing. I mean, E flat is the relative major of F sharp.
Frenchy Cabazon : No it isn't! The relative minor is three half-tones DOWN from the major, not up!
George Noon : No, it's three down. Like A is the relative minor of C major.
O.D. Loutzenheiser : But isn't A-sharp in C major?
Shannon Bell : Wait, are you singing mixolydian scales or something?
Frenchy Cabazon : A-sharp is tonic to C major! It's the sixth!
James Humphrey : No, it isn't!
Israel Swan : Well, it would be like a raised 13th if anything.
Frenchy Cabazon : Oh well, you guys are just a bunch of loser diggers anyhow!
James Humphrey : Oh, see, you know we're right!
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The Cyclops : Are you lookin' at my eye?
Miners : [all scream]
The Cyclops : Are you lookin' at my *eye*?
Miners : [various] No. No. No. Not at all.
The Cyclops : A union army soldier did this to me in the big one. Any of you boys fight for the union army?
Frank Miller : Shucks no!
Shannon Bell : Chucky dang darn!
The Cyclops : So, you the boys been killin' all my sheepies with those traps?
George Noon : Naw! We just now gots here.
The Cyclops : Where are you from?
James Humphrey : Nashville.
The Cyclops : Well, damn! It's good to see some Southern boys! It's been a long time!
[sings]
The Cyclops : Oh, I wish I were in the land of cotton, old times there are not forgotten, look away! Look away! Look Awaaaay...
[waits for other to finish]
James Humphrey : ...You stupid yank!
The Cyclops : You ain't southern boys!
Miners : [all scream again and run]
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Frenchy Cabazon : You guys don't even know what it *means* to be a trapper.
Preston Nutter : Yeah! Tell 'em, French.
Frenchy Cabazon : I can catch a helpless animal,/skin it with my bare hands./I wake up muddy,/and I go to bed bloody,/'cause I'm a trappin' man./I can brave the nastiest weather.
O.D. Loutzenheiser , Preston Nutter : Weather!
Frenchy Cabazon : Even if it's 80 below.
O.D. Loutzenheiser , Preston Nutter : Below!
Frenchy Cabazon : My pa was an elephant,/but that's irrelevant./My ma was an Eskimo./I eat rabbits' heads for breakfast.
O.D. Loutzenheiser , Preston Nutter : Breakfast!
Frenchy Cabazon : With beaver butt on the side.
O.D. Loutzenheiser , Preston Nutter : The side!
Frenchy Cabazon : My mind's magnificent and my body no different./I'm full of trapper pride!/Yo-ho!
Preston Nutter : Yo-ho!
O.D. Loutzenheiser : Yo-ho!
Preston Nutter : Rip their fur,/cut their skin with my knife./Yo-ho!
Preston Nutter : Yo-ho!
O.D. Loutzenheiser : Yo-ho!
Frenchy Cabazon : One thing's for sure,/there's nothing like a trappin' life!
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O.D. Loutzenheiser : You ain't trappers.
Frank Miller : No, we're miners.
Preston Nutter : You're diggers!
O.D. Loutzenheiser : Trapper horse ain't supposed to be with no digger!
James Humphrey : Nice hat!
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Frenchy Cabazon : Say, you gents wanna trade some furs for the trip?
[takes some dead animals out of a sack]
Frenchy Cabazon : We got rabbits and beavers.
Israel Swan : Oh, how horrible!
James Humphrey : Where'd you guys get all those little dead animals?
O.D. Loutzenheiser : We're trappers, stupid!
Alferd Packer : Poor little bunny rabbits.
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The Cyclops : Jinkies.
