Ed (1996)

Matt LeBlanc: Jack 'Deuce' Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack 'Deuce' Cooper : I am going to spank that monkey!

• Stats Jefferson : You play major league?

  Jack 'Deuce' Cooper : No.

  Stats Jefferson : Minor league?

  Jack 'Deuce' Cooper : No.

  Stats Jefferson : Anybody ever see you play?

  Jack 'Deuce' Cooper : My mom.

• Jack 'Deuce' Cooper : [to a spider]  Hey Charlotte, where's Wilbur?

  [cut to his mom serving up ham] 

  Jack 'Deuce' Cooper : Wilbur!Mom, you didn't!

• Lydia : Two fingers is a curve ball, right?

  Jack 'Deuce' Cooper : That's a peace sign, I think.

• Jack 'Deuce' Cooper : [Ed's trying to get in the house pretending to need the bathroom]  How dumb do I look? You wanted to play hardball remember? There's a sandbox down there so go pee your socks off, and *quit* banging on the door.

  [closes the door and Ed breaks it down] 

  Jack 'Deuce' Cooper : What the?