House Arrest (1996)
Kevin Pollak: Ned Beindorf
Photos
Quotes
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Donald Krupp : You're son is truly certifiable!
Ned Beindorf : My son is certifiable?
Donald Krupp : Yeah, your son.
Ned Beindorf : How about when the yearbook come's out your kid"s picture is gonna be there "Most likely to be a serial killer" That's your boy!
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Janet Beindorf : [hears pounding up above] What's he doing now?
Ned Beindorf : I don't know. Grover, what're you doing?
Grover : I'm nailing the door shut.
Ned Beindorf : He's nailing the door shut. If you...
Janet Beindorf , Ned Beindorf : WHAT?
Grover : You guys are going to stay down there a while.
Janet Beindorf : [runs up to the basement door] He's really doing it, he's nailing it shut!
Ned Beindorf : Grover, stop it right now! What you're doing is very bad for the wood!
Grover : We'll pay for the wood!
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Ned Beindorf : They got my tools!
Janet Beindorf : And the phone's gone too!
[Ned pulls back the curtains]
Janet Beindorf : Oh my God!
Ned Beindorf : Boarded up the windows?
Grover : We boarded up the frames and filled the bases with cement. I used the cement that's been sitting in the garage for the past three years.
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Ned Beindorf : Why did you have to argue?
Janet Beindorf : Why did you have to say I was critical?
Ned Beindorf : Because you are, Grover are you drugs?
Grover : [laughs] Yeah, I'm on heroin and Stacey's on crack.
Ned Beindorf : [to Janet, smugly] Happy now?
Janet Beindorf : Oh he's kidding,
[serious tone, banging on door]
Janet Beindorf : you better be joking do you hear me? Gregory Alan Beindorf! Do you hear me? What is wrong with you?
Grover : You guy's are splitting up! That's what's wrong with me! Now get down there and start solving your problems.
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Janet Beindorf : It's been 14 years and you haven't even finished the bathroom.
Ned Beindorf : I've been working for 14 years!
Janet Beindorf : And what's my job? Is it a hobby?
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Ned Beindorf : You just don't like it because it isn't your plan.
Janet Beindorf : You are so childish!
Ned Beindorf : No I'm not, no I'm not!
Janet Beindorf : Yes you are, yes you are why are you acting this way?
Ned Beindorf : [sarcastically] why am I acting this way why? I haven't a clue let's take a stab at it shall we? Oh yeah I got it!
[serious tone]
Ned Beindorf : We've been held hostage since Thursday, our kids are starting to act like Freud, I've probably lost my job, spent a fistfight with the town's biggest asswipe and going through the entire day listening to your stupid plan.
Janet Beindorf : [sarcastically] Oh turning the electricity off is brilliant, oh it's a brilliant plan. Oh yeah I forgot you graduated from Mensa didn't you
[crosses fingers]
Janet Beindorf : you and Nostradamus where like this, it's a stupid plan Ned, a stupid plan.
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T.J. Krupp : [installing the security door] Folks, you're looking at the Enforcer 2000, it's the best security door that money can buy. Now uh, there's no need to thank me, it's my gift to you, and since you're my favorite new customer's, here's a little bonus gift.
[show's off jumper cable's]
T.J. Krupp : A shiny new pair of jumper cable's which just so happen to be connected to two, count em, two 12 bolt car batteries in my backpack, now that's why you're gonna hand over the knife, Mr. Beindorf.
Ned Beindorf : [confused] What are you talking about?
T.J. Krupp : Lets just say that this tomato here is you, gentleman please
[destroys tomato and it splatters them]
Janet Beindorf : Well... he wouldn't use that on us.
Ned Beindorf : No he wouldn't.
Janet Beindorf : So let's go.
T.J. Krupp : Give it to me Mr. Beindorf!
Ned Beindorf : [nervous] Of course.
T.J. Krupp : Now give me whatever Mrs. Beindorf was digging with.
Janet Beindorf : That was mine, he was using this piece of chair.
T.J. Krupp : Give it to me and give me the rest of the chair too!
Ned Beindorf : Why not just tell him everything? Maybe 'Hey, here's my social security number', I'm surprised you're not up there helping them.
Janet Beindorf : Well if you were, they'd never finish.
T.J. Krupp : Good catch you later.
Ned Beindorf : Who is this guy?
T.J. Krupp : Remember this hurts us more than than it hurts you.
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Ned Beindorf : Brilliant, yea.
[turns off electricity]
Janet Beindorf : What are you doing?
Ned Beindorf : Turning off the electricity, don't you understand they can't survive without electricity, no Nintendo, no MTV.
Janet Beindorf : [turns electricity back on] I already thought of it it won't work.
Ned Beindorf : [turns electricity back off] It will work, 2 hours without electricity they'll be screaming for their mommies.
Janet Beindorf : [turn's electricity back on] 2 hour's without electricity and we are gonna be screaming while they burn the house down with matches.
