Baby Geniuses (1999) Poster

(1999)

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2/10
One of the worst film's of 1999. 1/2* out of ****
Movie-1214 June 1999
Warning: Spoilers
In "Baby's Day Out" an innocent baby is kidnapped for ransom but wreaks havoc of his kidnappers. "In Look Who's Talking" babies talk a lot. In "Baby Geniuses" babies talk and wreak havoc on their kidnappers. See the similarities, with the exception that "Baby Geniuses" is a disgrace to the other two or any other baby movies.

The film opens with a small baby named Sly, short for Sylvester, using his impressive karate skills on grown adults. First, he punches an individual in the jewels. Second, he flips another over his shoulder.

The victims are workers for a massive but secret research company that strongly believes that babies under two years of age have their own language, that all other people can not understand. That they know everything, the secrets of the universe, human weaknesses and many other fascinating things.

Why do the characters care about this material? How did they find out about it? When did this research start? How long has it been going on for? Why do we care? These are a few of some of the questions I am asking myself here, none of which are answered.

The movies' characters are unexplained props used only to for the other characters, the babies, own personal uses and enjoyment, and to explain the plot to us, for the movie itself has no story, it's merely a study of pointless methodologically that no body cares about.

The children themselves are given vulgar and unfunny dialog to chew on. The main baby is voiced appropriately by Joseph Mazzello, who was probably offered good money here. They have computer animated mouths, that I think are supposed to look like real talking babies. And they often swear at adults, like they are masters of the universe, and the film pretends that they are.

The movie's performances aren't exactly outstanding. Peter MacNicol from "Ally Mcbeal" is a dad interested in nothing the audiences are. Kathleen Turner is surprisingly dimwitted as the head person is charge of the research company, but what can you expect from a person who's film credits include "Serial Mom?" Christopher Lloyd from "My Favorite Martian," is nothing special either.

There are a few laughs generated from the strange character motives, but most of them involve the characters being in some sort of pain. The ending is energetic in its use of using the babies as props, but even that is an exaggerated vision of "Baby's Day Out."

Another major problem with the film is its use of the babies as objects. They are supposed to be cute, innocent creatures from God, not half animated plot devices. Even if the film did succeed in audience laughter, the subject of using babies as lab rats alone would turn anyone off immediately, even if it is played in a comic nature.

"Baby Geniuses" is one of the worst family movies I have seen in a long time. Will kids enjoy it? It is hard to tell, they might get a kick out of the films use of slapstick humor, but it is nothing compared to any movie with Leslie Nielsen. Save your money. This is no better than the "Ally Mcbeal" computer animated dancing baby.
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4/10
Oh my God!
chatykat30 July 2002
Don't even get me started on this one. I mean talking babies, it was okay in Look Who's Talking, but come on babies that are geniuses. So what they can spell their ABC's early, my niece can spell her's and she's 2 years old. Just when you're in the movie station just pass by it.
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3/10
A terrible TERRIBLE movie
howgooey200013 July 2003
the only reson they made this movie was to show off their special effects which suck now compared to anything else basiclly a scientest finds out babys speak their own language and are actually smart but this scientest is DUN DUN DUUUUN EVIL so the babys have to stop them (by the way now suddenly the babys can talk to the adults some how) which they do in some stupid unbeliveable way that would only happen if the "evil scientests" were the stupidest pieces of crap ever to walk the face of the earth and I almost forgot Once you turn 2 or 3 or something you forget about having your own language and everything of so all in all:

no plot + no effects +no acting= DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE

PS. I saw this movie 4 years ago so I might have been going a little easy on it

PSS. I dont like saying PS. so im never going to say it again



who the hell says ps anyway
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Oh man, greatest movie of all time.
zabouke15 September 2001
This is up there with Chairman Of The Board(1998) starring none-other than Carrot-Top! This is the funniest movie of 1999. I love this movie. When a weak 20lb baby can beat up a fully grown adult, you know it's going to be a great show. I'm so glad this movie was made that I saw it four times in the theater, and as soon it came out, got it on DVD. Greatest show ever.
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5/10
Yeah...don't bother.
LebowskiT100031 July 2002
I saw that this film had such an unbelievably low rating on IMDb, so I had to see for myself what was so bad about this film. I figured it couldn't possibly be that bad. Well...I think I spoke too soon, cause it was REALLY BAD!

The story is really bizarre. No, make that freaking stupid!!! I can't imagine that child would get enjoyment out of this movie. I'm sure that kids would laugh at a little bit of the stupid humor, but not a whole lot.

I find it physically painful that Christopher Lloyd agreed to do this movie. Why Chris, Why? I was also a little surprised to see Kim Cattrall in the film too, I think she can do much better than this. I do like Peter MacNicol (TV's "Ally McBeal"), and he did a pretty good job with his role. Kyle Howard's character was quite bizarre, if you've seen the film, I think you'll know what I'm talking about. But...he did a pretty good job with his role. Dom DeLuise was another good addition, but not enough to make this film worth watching. I did like seeing Jim Hanks in the film, brother to a certain other famous Hanks (Tom Hanks if you can't figure it out), although he has a very small role in the film. It's amazing how much Jim looks like Tom.

One other thing I have to vent out that really angered me. The cover to this movie shows the little kid with glasses on. I don't think he EVER had glasses on in the entire film!!! Perhaps I missed it, but I sure didn't notice them. Strange huh?

All in all, I would definitely recommend staying clear of this film, unless you're curious like I was. If you do end up seeing this film, I hope you enjoy it more than I did. Thanks for reading,

-Chris
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5/10
Not so bad.
Okay, I finally made it through the comments of hundreds of my fellow contributors, the vast majority of whom thoroughly disliked this film, blasting it and saying it deserved to be on the bottom 100 worst films of all time. I disagree.

I agree that it isn't the best film in the world, but I've seen so many which were so much much worse, on so many different levels.

I could see what it was that the director and the producers were aiming for.. and they came so very very close... unfortunately, because they came close in almost everything, they didn't have anything that turned out very good. And this, I'm sure, is the reason so many people don't like it and don't think it has any redeeming qualities.. because nothing was done excellently.

In my opinion, John Wayne's first thirty or so films are all worse and less entertaining than this. But, you don't get to see them very often nowadays, so people who haven't seen them don't realize just how bad, in comparison to today's special effects, they were.

Sure, the acting was less than stellar, which would be surprising from an all-star cast of adults. And so many people try to compare this flick to Baby's Day Out and Look Who's Talking... but in this flick, unlike those others... the main characters are the children, not the adults, so it only makes sense to have all the adult actors tone down their performances... and since it's so hard to get toddlers to do anything on cue, the adults needed to tone down their performances just that much more.

It was a very ingenious concept, that unfortunately was much less well received by it's overly picky audience.

Sure, there were some less-than-stellar special effects, too. So many of my fellow contributors cued in on the fact that the kids' lips weren't properly synching to the dialog, but not many noticed that in the vast majority of those shots, the babies' lips and facial expressions were computer generated... so, apparently that effect pulled itself off adequately.. just not superbly, or there would not have been the synching problems.

If you're the kind of person who can enjoy a story without having to base your enjoyment on stellar performances, you'll be able to enjoy this flick, too.
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1/10
May I ask a legitimate question- whose idea was it to use the talents of Kathaleen Turner and Christopher Lloyd and waste them?
TheLittleSongbird2 February 2010
I will give some credit to this otherwise awful film, that it is better than its abysmal sequel Superbabies:Baby Geniuses 2. On paper, it doesn't look so bad, it has a great cast including beautiful Kathaleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd who is a lot of fun in pretty much everything he's in and the late Dom DeLuise. If only, if only it had a decent enough script and a good enough plot. However, the film is severely lacking in both areas, and makes a waste of those truly talented actors.

The script is just awful, and doesn't give anyone enough to work with, and there is no originality or sophistication. The story is one that has been done before and better about a nasty children's magnate who is carrying out tests on a host of brainy little children on the premise that they can speak in a secret language. Bob Clark's direction is very unfocused throughout, and doesn't improve whatsoever. The camera-work is rushed, and the slapstick is uninspiredly staged. In fact, if there was a redeeming quality, the soundtrack was okay to say the least.

The performances are disappointingly poor, and they are not helped by the lacklustre direction and the witless script. To be honest I found triplets Leo, Myles and Gerry Fitzgerald very irritating as the twins who try to outmatch Dr Kinder. As for Turner, this has to be a career low for her. This is a shame, because she is so beautiful and talented, but her strengths aren't even put to use here and she does overact quite wildly. Christopher Lloyd usually excels in roles similar to the one he has here, but he looks embarrassed here and looks as though he wants to get it all out of the way. And Dom DeLuise? For such a talented and versatile actor like DeLuise, you would expect a lot from him. But his part is so badly underwritten that he comes across as wasted.

All in all, sorry but I didn't like this movie. Even with such a wonderful bunch of actors, their talents are all gone to waste with poor writing, direction and plot. 1/10 Bethany Cox
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1/10
diaper gravy
claudemercure5 April 2005
Just what I always wanted: to hear babies recycle stale catch-phrases from other movies (if you just can't get enough of the words "show me the money", this is the movie for you).

It would be a waste of time for me to describe what is bad about this movie, because EVERYTHING is bad - the writing, the directing, the acting... This is the only film I know that causes actual physical pain. Don't be surprised if viewing of this film is followed by repeated fits of vomiting. By the time the phrase 'diaper gravy' was used for the third time, I realized that that's exactly what this movie consists of. The worst film I have seen in my life. And yet... as the worst movie ever made, it holds an undeniable fascination.

I give Baby Geniuses a 1, only because zero isn't an option
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1/10
It makes me hate myself
dwainegibson21 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I rented this movie off sky so that I could cuddle up to my girlfriend on the sofa. She left me two weeks later and I totally blame the film. I'm only writing this now with no real recollection of how the story unfolded,(I thank my cleansing unconscious for that) but a sort of painful residue which has collected within me is there instead. I only remember uncomfortable pain and thinking to myself Christopher?(Lloyd that is), how can you bear to involve yourself with this people??!!! Boo Hoo!!!! I cursed my error of judgement as soon as I saw the first lip-syncing effort, I looked into my then girlfriends eyes and like a dog trying to have a poo while being watched I slurred "Erm..sorry". Please don't watch this, some films are so bad they are good which is true when everyone involved are morons which is not the case in this film, morons mixed with mediocrities, and that only leads to confusion and ups and downs which is infinitely worse.
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1/10
It's all true...
dylman9118 June 2004
Everything you have ever heard about this movie is true. It deserves to be on the Bottom 100. The acting sucks, the plot sucks, EVERYTHING sucks! It's one of those things where it's unexplainable. When you watch a movie, you want to feel satisfied. You want to have a good time. There are a million movies that will give you this feeling. Baby Geniuses, however, is NOT one of these movies. It will make you feel ripped off and you will want an hour and a half back on your life. To keep it short: DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE. You'll thank me. You will also thank the other one million people who told you not to watch it.

1/10.
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1/10
Pain
Torgo_Approves23 April 2007
Some people think they have experienced pain. They think their twisted ankle, broken jaw, urinary infection, or whatever petty affliction they're suffering from, is what pain really means. How I admire these misguided, blissfully ignorant fools.

I can tell you without the slightest doubt that I'd rather have twelve urinary infections, both my legs broken and my nasal cavities filled with sharp, rusty needles that swung up and down every time I breathed, than watch the almost obscenely idiotic mess known as "Baby Geniuses" again. Ever had one of those days when you woke up to find that you had the bad hair day of the century, were late for an extremely important job interview, accidentally flashed the landlord and was evicted, and got dumped by your girlfriend? Watching "Baby Geniuses" is like that day - on drugs.

Does anyone with a three digit IQ actually find talking babies funny? I just think it's disturbing! I don't need to see some dude who has barely learned how to walk cracking pop culture jokes or repeating the term "diaper gravy" over and over again. Yeah, really great joke guys, gets better every time I hear it. I think "diaper gravy" #451 was my favourite. Baby Sly told it with such passion and intensity, I got chills.

I swear, some day those poor baby "actors" will find out that their parents let them be cast in this torture device, track them down, put them in a nursing home and never speak to them again! So not only will "Baby Geniuses" by default ruin your evening, it may also have ruined many people's lives. Two birds, one diaper, you might say. I can only hope that the people who actually saw the SEQUEL to this crime against mankind and all that is holy were mentally stable enough to not break down completely. I swear one viewing of "Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2" would undoubtedly send me straight into some padded room somewhere in a fancy jacket. There's only so much a man can take.

If you have an acquaintance you really, really, REALLY hate, this film is the perfect Christmas present. Christopher Lloyd must have been on drugs when he signed on. One more thing - if I never see anything as revoltingly disturbing as that giant baby robot again, I will die happy. Avoid.
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10/10
I just want to get the rating higher up
Nishtha-734213 August 2020
This movie is not great but it is funny and light. It is watchable and basically I am really attached to this and Baby's Day Out because of fond childhood memories. So I am trying to take a stand for the 90s kid who loved Sly and thought he was the coolest dude in the world, followed by Baby Bink who is NOT A REGULAR BABY. The movie isn't all that bad I don't know why it rates so low. It isn't anything spectacular but it is nice.
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7/10
Pretty good film
sportsloverlane26 March 2002
I liked this film for the most part. I did think that the plot was kind of weird, but the babies were really cute. I didn't like the fact that the two year old babies swore, but they did a great job on the special affects. It was a pretty good movie. 7/10.
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1/10
This movie is pure diaper gravy...
planktonrules4 February 2010
The film is about a crazy lady and her henchmen who are trying to create super-genius babies in controlled laboratory conditions. At the same time, identical twins are being raised outside the lab in order to determine if Dr. Kinder's (that's a subtle name) teaching methods create significantly smarter babies. But, one of the babies in particular is a lot smarter than the Doctor and her henchmen and spends much of the movie hiding or attacking these folks--in a much-dumbed down version of "Baby's Day Out". And, when the super-genius baby meets up with the identical twins, he mobilizes them into an elite fighting force.

There are several types of bad movies. One are the Ed Wood-style bad movies such as "Manos Hands of Fate", "Eegah!" and "The Beast of Yucca Flats". They are ultra-low budget and can't help but suck. With absolutely nothing going for them, you expect these movies to be terrible and usually they're a lot of fun to watch because they are so ineptly made. The second are movies that are vacuous but have reasonably large budgets, such as the awful "From Justin to Kelly", "Car 54 Where Are You?" and "Disaster Movie". These are occasionally watchable but generally hurt your brain with the stupidity of it all...and they can't blame the budget for the film being that bad! The third type, and "Baby Geniuses" is chief among them is like the second--there is a reasonable budget BUT the films manage to do something normal bad movies don't--they are so annoying, so grating that you want to hurt those responsible for making them (please don't...no matter how tempting it might be)!

"Baby Geniuses" is a terrible film that made me ill just to watch it. About the only film that caused as intense a visceral reaction was Jerry Lewis' "Cracking Up". With respected and semi-respected Hollywood talent in the film, the only thing that might explain their being in this crap-fest is if the film makers had kidnapped loved ones in order to force people like Kathleen Turner and Christopher Lloyd to star in the movie! Why? Because the basic idea is so dumb and so appealing, you can't see how the actors would have agreed to be in the film (as for Peter MacNicol and Dom DeLuise, this IS a story right up their alley and I can see why they appeared in this film). Plus, even if the actors weren't turned off by the story idea, the dialog must have shouted "Suck-Fest" as soon as they saw the scripts! Phrases such as "diaper gravy" (poop) pepper the film in a pathetic attempt at humor. And who could think that the following dialog is funny or remotely appropriate for all audiences?

1st Baby--"Take off your clothes". 2nd Baby--"Well at least you can buy me dinner first".

However, if you think watching toddlers do kung fu, punching adults in the crotch (too many times to count), dancing to disco tunes, or many pop culture references, then this film is for you--as is it's 'hilarious' sequel (yes, there IS a sequel--making me wonder a loving God could allow such a film to be made). Imagine, if you can, "Look Who's Talking", "Baby's Day Out", "The Great Escape" and "102 Dalmatians" all merged into one film and written by particularly stupid and obnoxious 6 year-olds--this is "Baby Geniuses"--and it clearly has earned its place on IMDb's esteemed "Bottom 100"--the 100 lowest rated films of all time.

By the way, although this was far from the worst part of the film, if you saw this pile of diaper gravy, didn't you wonder how it was that the super-super genius baby was able to make all these pop cultural references? How could a kid raised in perfect conditions in the lab know about the Three Stooges, "The Jerry Springer Show" or "Terminator"?!
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I Liked It
Writer_Commentary28 July 2011
This was a pretty good movie, in my opinion. There was good humor, kids could watch it and enjoy it, and the plot is easy to understand. I don't know why people here don't like it, but that's their opinions. While I don't hate the movie, it can be a tad bit unbelievable. But if it were believable, then it couldn't exist. A kid might enjoy this and so might some adults. Comparable to Rugrats, it isn't as good as that show, but is the next best thing. What kids might like are the babies in the movie that could be just like them if they were like that. Man, I am running out of things to say. But I am almost at ten lines! The point is watch the movie. Phew! I made it.
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1/10
I wanted to feed these babies one by one to a Great White.
ghoul-315 March 1999
The guy that gave us the wonderful "Christmas Story," the absolutely terrifying "Black Christmas" and the rollicking "Porky's"offers up a big piece of post-holiday sludge about experimental babies and the evil high-tech scientists that are raising them. The premise is that babies speak a language that if deciphered would provide the answers to the universe. While the adults on the screen are spared the thoughts and clever dialogue of the little tykes, the movie audience isn't afforded the same luxury.

Movies about babies aren't supposed to make you hate the babies, but in Bob Clark's new comedy that combines the worst elements of "Look Who's Talking" and "Home Alone," I began to truthfully despise the wise-cracking karate-kicking diaper-clad little urchins within three minutes of the opening credits. In all fairness it's not the babies fault that they're about as lovable as a hang-nail, it's an absolutely inane script filled with stupid dialogue, tired slapstick and over-driven campy performances by the likes of Kathleen Turner, Ruby Dee and the always exciting Dom Deluise. Those factors and digitized little mouths spewing cliched movie dialogue, statements like "ooh...diaper gravy!" and yes even some bad words, makes for the most agonizing 94 minutes I've ever spent in a movie theater. There may be something far more unsettling and scary in the upcoming new millennium than just the Y2K bug..."Baby Geniuse's 2!"'
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1/10
On a Bet!
susanbassplayer9 December 2007
Much has already been said about how truly rotten this movie is. So I'll spare you details in my review.

I watched this movie on a bet. That is to say, I bet my twin brother $20.00 on something unrelated and lost. I was broke at the time and couldn't pay him until payday. So my twin bro offered me this: Watch BABY GENIUSES 1 AND 2, back-to-back and start-to-finish and he would forgive me the debt.

I should have paid him the money. I could have stretched my grocery money and ate noodles the rest of the week. See, I adore my bro. He's a great guy, but he's awfully slick with things like this and I should have known better. These two movies were the most appalling things I have ever scene (and I'm a HUGE fan of PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE).
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1/10
This is really bad.
Wulfstan1015 March 2005
I can freely say, without reservation, that this movie is simply dreadful. It is among the worst out there, and I have seen some pretty bad films.

The whole premise is cretinous and it is executed very, very poorly. The acting, along with everything else, is terrible and the "humour," such as it is, is mostly moronic. There are occasional flashes that try to approach slightly entertaining humour, but overall it is all so cretinous and poorly done that that it is not even funny. The result is excruciatingly tedious. Even as a kids' film it is worthless.

I can't imagine why Christopher Lloyd, normally so good, would have done this film. But, even the greatest actors sometimes get involved in utterly terrible films.
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1/10
Baby Geniuses
jboothmillard10 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I remember seeing this film when I was young, and even then I don't remember it being very entertaining stuff, from director Bob Clark (Porky's). Basically doctors Elena Kinder (Kathleen Turner) and Heep (Christopher Lloyd) run the world's leading manufacturer of baby products, Babyco, which doubles as a theme park, but secretly they are working to crack the secret of babies communicating in a their "baby talk" language as they discuss secrets of the universe or whatever. The smartest babies however, Sly (identical triplets Gerry, Leo and Myles Fitzgerald), has managed to escape from the lab, and they need to get him back. At home with his parents, mother Robin (Kim Cattrall) and father Dan (Peter MacNicol), his twin Whit (also played by the three Fitzgeralds) shares a telepathic bond, but they don't realise each other's existence, and of course, they get swapped when the bad guys catch one of them. So now Sly and Whit together, in the neighbourhood and in the lab, recruit all the other babies, to go up against the adults and gain their freedom. Also starring An American Tail's Dom DeLuise as Lenny and Ruby Dee as Margo. The premise of seeing few-month to two-year-old kids talking sounded dodgy from the word "go", and seeing it isn't clever, and then acting like some mini action heroes isn't funny or impressive either, and it's not even that cute. You could say that the makers of this film are infantile, and you'd be correct, it is like crossing live action Rugrats with Spy Kids or something, it is just the most appalling thing you'll see, maybe the toddlers will like it, but for the mature members viewers, avoid it. Poor!
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1/10
About as awful as you'd think
ericstevenson21 April 2018
This is one of the most legendary bad movies ever made. It's become iconic with how terrible it is. The good news is that at least it isn't worse than what most people say. The downside is that that's still very low. There was ONE good joke in this movie about how they make the police come to Babyco and that's IT. This was made by the director of "A Christmas Story" and it just so happens this one takes place around Christmas too.

This movie tells the story about these evil scientists who discover that babies have their own language. After awhile, they "cross over" and lose all of their genius. The most insane thing is that there is one scene where a baby is actually able to speak intelligible English as babies apparently know every language out there or somewhere. A main conflict is that they can't talk to their parents, even though they SHOWED that they could speak the same language as adults! Babies are apparently also able to hypnotize adults in their sleep. You have to admit that is completely stupid.

In about six minutes, they literally say "Diaper gravy" four times and there is absolutely no variant said at all. This is easily the worst movie for Channel Awesome Month and it's a shame it came out shortly after "The Big Lebowski". That's a better movie to show to your kids and that has over 200 f-bombs in it! There's like six minutes of nothing but babies just jumping around as they are apparently training. There's a baby that wanders onto the road with cars and nobody notices, yet when the baby wears a disguise on the street, somehow everyone notices him. It's hard to even believe this movie even exists, as I couldn't see how anyone would ever find this entertaining. 1/2*
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1/10
the first time that I had to GET OUT of the cinema room before movie end
rgachile-111 March 2006
the first time that I had to GET OUT of the cinema room before movie end!!

I was late for a movie, and my friends and I have not other option that this movie.

I just resisted 15 minutes of this "movie", and...

I had to run outside the room with my friends!!! WORST FILM EVER WATCHED BY ME IN A CINEMA ROOM!!

The best part of the movie were the trailers!!!

Now, before going to the cinema... I read the comments about the film.

That's the better way to enjoy a movie.

Best regards
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2/10
Why?
drow11 May 1999
Who's the greater fool, the fool who came up with this, or me, the fool who actually went to see it. It was a late night showing and my thinking was blurred by a flask of moonshine, that's my excuse. But the makers of this film have no excuse for this mess. Why? That's what I want to know? The effects that made these babies do what they did were good,

BUT IT'S CREEPY TO SEE BABIES ACTING LIKE THAT!!! so I give it a 1, which is fitting because it is around the average age of the actors and actresses, and not far behind the IQ's of those who actually made this film.
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10/10
Adults shouldn't be rating kids films
bbwoof927 December 2019
I remember watching this movie as a kid and I loved it.

Do adults not realize that kids films should be held to a different standard? Or are the people who gave this movie a poor rating have a bad childhood and hate this film for reminding them of it? If so, I'm so sorry.
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7/10
Silly, But Not That Stupid
EmperorNortonII24 November 2005
"Baby Geniuses" is a movie that can be best described as a live-action cartoon. It's certainly not cinematic perfection. Some people have said it's idiotic. But in my opinion, it's not that stupid. It's just very, very silly. You just have to enjoy this sort of movie to not hate it. There are several big name actors appearing; Kathleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd, Dom DeLuise and Kim ("Sex and the City") Catrall. There aren't any memorable performances, though. The main characters are the babies, and their cartoonish hi-jinx (even if the hi-jinx doesn't always work). "Baby Geniuses" is clearly not for everyone. It's just for the few who can appreciate it.
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2/10
"Howard the Duck" of the 90s
himikey20 March 1999
This movie is painfully unoriginal and sickeningly unfunny. Your bucket of movie popcorn will draw more laughs, while also being less irritating. Only for the very young and/or the easily amused. My vote? 2/10
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