The MatchMaker (1997)

David O'Hara: Sean Kelly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sean Kelly : You were never backward about being forward.

• Sean Kelly : You could never live here.

  Marcy Tizard : What makes you say that?

  Sean Kelly : You're a big city kind o' girl. You're-you're Mary Tyler Moore.

  Marcy Tizard : Oh, yes. I am so very Mary Tyler Moore. Everyone says so.

  Sean Kelly : No, but you're- It's like you need to be hooked up to the city otherwise your batteries go flat.

  Marcy Tizard : Okay. So, I'm like a battery operated Mary Tyler Moore? If you flatter me any more I'm gonna have to toss your pale, Irish ass off the side of this boat.

• Sean Kelly : Let me make an honest woman of you. Divorce me !

• Sean Kelly : So, looking up the Senator's roots. There must be an election coming up.

  Marcy Tizard : He just wants to find his ancestors.

  Marcy Tizard : His ancestors? You mean like all those other American politicians trying to secure the Irish vote?

• Sean Kelly : Maybe his ancestors were leprechauns. Now that would be good, wouldn't it? That'd get the leprechaun vote.

  Marcy Tizard : They can't vote. Too small. Can't reach the ballot box.

• Sean Kelly : If you lay a hand on me again, I'll be mailing it back to you.

• Marcy Tizard : Is this a humiliate-the-tourist scenario?

  Sean Kelly : [nodding]  No.

• Sean Kelly : Things rarely go according to one's youthful, heroic master plans.

• Sean Kelly : Sometimes the easy way out is the right way out.

• Marcy Tizard : Is being an idiot like being high all the time?

  Sean Kelly : No, it's like being constantly right.

• Marcy Tizard : I... I... I long to fax someone

  Sean Kelly : I have a fax.

  Marcy Tizard : [gasps]  You do!

• Marcy Tizard : What do you think, tending bar in a tasteless shirt is a more profound and valid way to spend your time?

  Sean Kelly : Yes, I do think that tending bar in a tasteless shirt is a more profound and valid use of my time, yes I do, that's why I do it.

• Marcy Tizard : He's crazy! He threw a rock at me!

  Sean Kelly : What do you mean he threw a rock at you? He threw a rock at both of us.

  Marcy Tizard : Well say something in Irish to him. Maybe he'll like you better.

• Marcy Tizard : Go back to your wife!

  Sean Kelly : My EX-wife. We're going through with the divorce.

  Marcy Tizard : They don't have divorce in Ireland.

  Sean Kelly : They do. It just got in.

• Sean Kelly : [Says something in Irish to the irate Aran Islander] 

  Marcy Tizard : What did you say to him?

  Sean Kelly : I asked him if I could use his toilet.

  Marcy Tizard : Impressive.

  Sean Kelly : Yeah, well, it's the one little bit of Irish every school kid has to know because if you don't... well, if you don't say it in Irish, then you don't get out of the class, and if you don't get out of the class, then you go in your pants...

  Marcy Tizard : Okay, I got it!