Sharpe (TV Series)

Sharpe's Revenge (1997)

John Benfield: Gen. Calvet

Quotes 

• Calvet : How do I divide the cheese, by merit or by rank?Who gets the biggest piece?

  Sharpe : You do.

  Calvet : Because I am a general.

  Sharpe : No, because I bloody hate cheese.

• Richard Sharpe : Who's in command of this expedition?

  Calvet : [referring to his own rank]  How many generals do you see in this room?

  Richard Sharpe : None, Calvet. It's like the French Revolution. All men are equal. Each man on his own merit.

  [Referring the riflemen] 

  Richard Sharpe : We have the most merit.

  Calvet : So you say.

  Richard Sharpe : I do say.

  Calvet : So which one of you 'equals' is in command?

  Richard Sharpe : I am.

  Calvet : [with a knife in hand, indicating the cheese on the table]  So how do i divide the cheese? By *merit* or by *rank*? Who gets the biggest piece?

  Richard Sharpe : You do.

  Calvet : Because I'm a general!

  Richard Sharpe : No. Because i bloody hate cheese!

  [He exits. As Gaston tries to take the cheese instead, Calvet slaps his hand] 

• Calvet : [to Sharpe]  For a change, Englishman, you and I will be on the same side. We are allies. Except that I am a General of Imperial France and you are a piece of English toadshit, which means that I give the orders and you obey them like a lily white-arsed conscript. So stop gawping like a novice nun in a gunners' bathhouse and tell me where we're going!

• Calvet : In Russia, I ate one of my corporals.

• Calvet : [sits down to eat in between battles; to Ducos, in French]  Breakfast?

  [as Ducos shakes his head, bagpipes are heard in the distance, announcing the next British attack] 

  Calvet : Ross. And where Ross is, Sharpe is.

  Ducos : Can I trust you to kill Sharpe?

  Calvet : [more interested in his breakfast than the battle]  We do our best.