The Bachelor (1999)

Artie Lange: Marco

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jimmie : Just give me the damn symbolic vaginas.

  Marco : You are sick!

• [after Jimmie is rejected by his ex-girlfriend Stacey] 

  Jimmie : She's engaged.

  Marco : Engaged, or married? Because if she's only engaged...

• Marco : [to Jimmie]  Your birthday is soon, right? Like next week?

  Jimmie : No, it's not next week.

  Marco : Thank God.

  Jimmie : It's tomorrow.

• Marco : [imitating Muhammad Ali while playing with a remote-controlled toy robot]  C'mon, gorilla, we in Manila! C'mon, gorilla, this is the Thrilla!

• [Before Jimmie asks his ex-girlfriend Buckley to marry him] 

  Marco : OK, crunch time. Seventh game of the World Series. Bottom of the ninth. Two outs. Full count. It's our last chance. There's no tomorrow. Got it?

  Jimmie : Four cliches ago.

• Jimmie : [playing pool with Marco]  Stripes wins, I propose.

  Marco : And solids?

  Jimmie : I don't know. Fake choking on a piece of steak.