The Opposite of Sex (1998)

Martin Donovan: Bill Truitt

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bill Truitt : [pulling on Jason's pierced nipple]  Listen to me, you little grunge faggot. I survived my family, my schoolyard, every Republican, every other Democrat, Anita Bryant, the Pope, the fucking Christian Coalition, not to mention a real son of a bitch of a virus, in case you haven't noticed. In all that time since Paul Lynde and Truman Capote were the only fairies in America, I've been busting my ass so that you'd be able to do what you wanted with yours! So I don't just want your obedience right now - which I do want and plenty of it - but I want your fucking gratitude, right fucking now, or you're going to be looking down a long road at your nipple in the dirt! Do you hear what I'm saying?

• Lucia : I don't know. I just don't - I don't get sex.

  Bill Truitt : You should get out more.

  Lucia : I mean, "I don't understand sex." I don't get it. Get it? It seems like a lot of trouble for not much. Am I the only one that thinks this?

  Bill Truitt : I don't think you're the tip of an iceberg, frankly.

  Lucia : I would rather have a backrub, you know. It lasts longer and there's no fluids. You know, what's so great about that? It's like, "Hi! I'd like to blow my nose on your face." I mean, you wouldn't like that, would you?

  Bill Truitt : And after they do it, they never phone you.

  Lucia : Yeah, or a shampoo. You know, just a really great shampoo. That would make sense. If you were chasing this asshole all around the country because he gave really great shampoos...

  Bill Truitt : It's not just sex, Lucia. I CARE for Matt, alright?

  Lucia : It IS sex, Bill. You just won't admit it. Cuz you wanna be above that. You wanna think that nothing that happened happened because you like sex.

  Bill Truitt : I'm really beat.

  Lucia : You know, sex kills, Bill. You just - you won't accept that. But why do you think there's no more real Hawaiians, huh? And why would they bother coming up with the phrase "died in childbirth" if it only happened one time? It's fucking dangerous, sex!

  Bill Truitt : Tom didn't die because of sex.

  Lucia : Didn't he? I mean, PC crap aside, didn't sex kill Tom? Huh? I mean, if he just couldn't get enough shampoos or backrubs, wouldn't he still be here today?

  Bill Truitt : You might as well say I killed him.

  Lucia : You didn't give it to him.

  Bill Truitt : No, but some OTHER faggot did! Isn't that what you think?

  Lucia : No. What I think is: Fine. Chase this bimbo from Indiana to Chippewa Falls, for all I care. Go ahead. Throw away your reputation, your job, and your students, and whatever because you want Matt. That's - it your RIGHT! Just don't say that it's about love, okay? You're an English teacher. Call things by their right name.

• Lucia : I don't know how you do it. You're always so nice and so calm. Tom was like that too. It's depressing.

  Bill Truitt : You're nice.

  Lucia : That's how I always felt around you too, like the Baroness in The Sound of Music. While everybody's just singing and climbing an Alp. And I just wanna STUFF THAT GUITAR UP THAT NUN'S ASS! And... ugh!

• Dedee : I'd like a Long Island iced tea, please.

  Bill Truitt : Is that a good idea, for the baby?

  Dedee : Oh, please. This baby owes its life to Long Island iced teas, if you know what I mean.

• Bill Truitt : He made his bed, he can lie in it.

  Lucia : If there's room.

• Lucia : Vagina, vagina, vagina. Does that word do anything for you?

  Bill Truitt : I don't think it does much for anyone, gay or straight.

• Lucia : Bill, I don't think he's as stupid we think.

  Bill Truitt : As you think, Lucia.

  [She gets mad and walks to the door] 

  Lucia : Fine! Goddammit! God... Fuck! Shit! I hope Tom Cruise is as straight as they come... I never thought he wasn't!

• [about Matt's disappearance] 

  Jason Bock : For all I know, you killed him.

  Bill Truitt : For all you know, I'm just getting started.

• Lucia : See, you think you're being nice, but it's really just self-destructive.

  Bill Truitt : When is it too hot to analyze me? 110, 115 degrees?

  Lucia : You've got a death wish. So selfish.

  [pause] 

  Lucia : I have one too, but I direct it toward others.

• Bill Truitt : You're gonna have a baby.

  Dedee : Yeah, lucky me!

• Bill Truitt : Who's the father? He has rights and responsibilities.

  Dedee Truitt : My stepfather, if you want to know. And the only responsibility he has is to rot in his grave, which I hope he's living up to.

• Lucia DeLury : [waking up after falling asleep on Bill's shoulder]  Oh my God, did I drool?

  Bill Truitt : [looking at his shirt]  No, it'll dry. Don't worry about it.

  Lucia DeLury : Usually I have to be up a few more hours before I'm humiliated.

• [Bill catches one of his students writing "Mr. Truitt sucks it hard every Tuesday after yearbook here!" on a wall in a school restroom] 

  Bill Truitt : [calmly]  There's a sentence here that's a fragment. What is it? Every...

  Joe : Every Tuesday after yearbook here?

  Bill Truitt : Now, how would you fix that?

  Joe : I guess you could say Mr. Truitt, you know, blanks it hard here every Tuesday after yearbook?

  Bill Truitt : Or just "Tuesdays after yearbook". You don't need the "every", right?

  Joe : Yeah, I guess so. Can I go?

  Bill Truitt : Yep.

  [Bill holds his hand out, Joe hands over his marker pen and leaves. Bill tries to rub off Joe's drawing of a naked woman above the writing, it won't come off, so he uses the pen to alter it into a goofy drawing of a man's face. Another student walks in and sees him doing this] 

  Ty : Probably not a good idea to use your real name.

• Jason Bock : [after Bill pulls on his pierced nipple]  Ow, ow, ow, fuck! Jesus. You're supposed to be my brother, man!

  Bill Truitt : Hey, I was brotherly, man. Think where else you're pierced.