Sour Grapes (1998)

Steven Weber: Evan Maxwell

Photos 

Quotes 

• Richie : What are you doing tonight?

  Evan : I don't know. Nothing. How about you?

  Richie : I don't know. Roberta's out of town. I'll probably just go home and blow myself.

• [after bumping into each other] 

  Richie : Well, well, well. What the hell are you doing here?

  Evan : What the hell you think I'm doing here?

  Richie : Hey, that was quite a joke, really. Really good going!

  Evan : Well, I sure as hell didn't think you'd give some bum the keys to your house so you can scare the shit out of your mother!

  Richie : You know I could have your license revoked for a stunt like that.

  Evan : Well, I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't offered me *three* percent!

  Richie : Three percent happened to be a very generous offer! I didn't have to offer you anything!

  Evan : They were my quarters!

  Richie : It was my machine!

  Evan : Don't you touch me!

  Richie : I didn't touch you!

  Evan : And don't point that finger--!

  Richie : I'll point it!

  Evan : I'll point too!

• Danny Pepper : People seem to think they can do anything they want so long as there's an 'I'm sorry.' Then everything's hunky-dory.

  Evan : I didn't say it was honky-dory.

  Danny Pepper : It's not honky-dory, it's hunky-dory.

  Evan : I thought I said hunky.

  Danny Pepper : No you said honky.

  Evan : Okay, okay, I'm sorry,

  Danny Pepper : See? Again!

• [Talking about Richie] 

  Evan : You know what he's doing now? He's probably in the back of that limo, giving himself a blow job.

  Joan : What?

  Evan : Oh, yeah. He can blow himself. He's double-jointed.

  Joan : [in disgust]  Men!