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I liked it more than La La Land (which isn't saying much)
lor_13 June 2017
Richard Mailer's "Classical Romance" is Porno Chic, shot on the film at the end of the theatrical era and all the better for it. It has exactly the same theme as the horribly overrated clunker "La La Land", but was far more entertaining for me.

That's because "La La", touted by sycophantic critics as "for people who love movies" was phony as a 3 dollar bill. I sat through at least a thousand movie musicals, mostly in theaters (revival houses) and appreciated the artistry of the form when directed by the likes of Busby Berkeley, Mark Sandrich, Minnelli and Donen, but that latest pastiche from the "jazz for dummies" creep who made "Whiplash" (in whose universe the giants of jazz are white guys) severely bungled the durable theme pitting selling out vs. sticking true to one's artistic goals.

Yet a lifelong pornographer, Mailer, handled that theme of a pianist sticking to his guns with aplomb, and no hokey John Legend character to tempt him to commercialism. That alone is quite a feat, given that commercialism is God in the Adult Cinema world.

Paul Thomas, soon to become perhaps Adult's finest director of all, is well-cast as the classically trained pianist stuck playing organ music of the Roller Rink style (no Jimmy McGriff or Jimmy Smith he) at an outdoor bar, while studying for a possible audition to get into a top conservatory. He lacks self-confidence, and when the invitation to try out comes his way, he's too chicken to take the opportunity.

Instead, his beautiful girlfriend Desiree Lane submits her pipe dream of their becoming big stars with a record contract by bringing their rock band to play at a new club. She is later forced to face reality, as when she meets with the sleazeball owner of that new enterprise he demands sex with her in return for a booking.

But by that time PT is tired of Desiree (the least convincing aspect of the production, as Lane fans can attest to) and has pledged his troth to married lady Jacqueline Lorians. Plenty of soap operatics flow under the bridge en route to a happy ending, with Herschel Savage rather one-note this outing as Jacky's workaholic, unfaithful and mean hubby.

This is quality Couples Romance, low impact but clearly designed to appeal to the fairer sex out there in a porn consumer universe always dominated by men (to whom product is clearly aimed). No feminist streak here, as the Lane character does not get her point-of-view in edgewise. But it still is far more truthful and clearly more erotic than the Ryan/Emma clunker that had fans of pastiche so mesmerized last year.
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8/10
Pleasant 80's porn
Woodyanders21 June 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Frustrated musician Eric (an excellent and engaging performance by Paul Thomas) tickles the ivories at a local piano bar on a nightly basis. After meeting and becoming instantly smitten with the beautiful Laura (an appealing portrayal by the ravishing Jacqueline Lorians), Eric embarks on a journey of erotic self-discovery. However, Eric must ultimately decide between following his heart and realizing his full musical potential or simply spending his life indulging in carnal pleasures.

Director Richard Mailer keeps the absorbing story moving at a steady pace and handles the premise in a thoughtful and sincere manner. Will Kelly's sensitive script presents two main characters who are both well defined and likable. Thomas and Lorians make for attractive and sympathetic leads, with a strong central chemistry which totally sells the mutual affection and infatuation they feel for each other. The sex scenes are quite lively, explicit, and arousing: Scorching highlights include a tasty threesome and Laura's slimy husband Charles (Herschel Savage in peak sleazy form) having a torrid tryst with his mistress Vicki (insanely cute Bunny Blue). Moreover, the smoldering presences of such lovely ladies as the enticing Desiree Lane, yummy Valerie Love, and the adorable Renee Summers provides plenty of extra sizzle. Robert Chappe's polished cinematography gives this picture a nice sparkling look. A satisfying hardcore outing.
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