- Darren: [describing Jeremy] Seething animal passions about to erupt through the pie crust of decorum.
- Angie: Oh, Leo, relax. You're quite right to choose men: women are complicated. I mean, men are kind of pathetic, but at least you know where you are.
- Sally: [finds a blindfolded naked man cuffed to her bed] What the hell is this?
- Darren: OH HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GERALDINE, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE SEVENTEEN!
- Sally: My name is not Geraldine and it's not my birthday
- Darren: Isn't it? This is 25 Shelldrake Avenue?
- Sally: No this is 23 Shelldrake Avenue
- Darren: Oh, how appallingly embarrassing of me, I'm an S&M-ogram, I must've gotten the wrong address
- [embarrassed, under his breath]
- Darren: oh no!
- Sally: Wait... don't I know you?
- Darren: God I hope not
- [she unties blindfold, he recognizes her]
- Darren: AHH!
- Darren: What else do you want? He's gorgeous, he's charming and he made breakfast.
- Leo: I mean the man is on the rebound, you know from women in general. I mean, he wants me because I'm not a woman.
- Darren: It seems a very good reason to want someone.
- Leo: But it's a negative reason, Darren. He wants me for what I'm not, not for what I am.
- Darren: Any good in bed?
- Leo: Yeah, yeah, he was, but...
- Darren: [interrupting] Well then keep him.