Taynik u krasnykh kamney (1973) Poster

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3/10
Hilarious spy schlock
spintongues2 October 2016
This is a piece of Soviet counterspy schlock, but with sudden bonuses. What they meant when they produced it I don't know, but apparently not what we see today. It turns out, the film is about how Soviet KGB loses to foreign spy rings (backed by the CIA) due to its total lack of paranoia. The Soviets lose and lose, one move after another, and Arab (presumably, Afghani) spies win and win. First, their leading field agent (Otar Koberidze) is able to inflict wounds on himself and fall into trance states purely by straining his will. Second, their mastermind (Yefim Kopelyan) gives orders to his minions by telepathy. This alone wins you any spy war. On the other hand, Soviet "chekisti" cannot do any of it. In their work they rely only on dumb traditional methods, like driving motorcycles through forests, and running across mountains with their dogs. Oh, and waiting for phone calls from stool pigeons and concerned citizens, of course. Irina Skobtseva, the elderly grand dame of the Soviet cinema, plays a Soviet spy disguised as an Englishwoman, and is totally devoid of any guile or even sense. The rest of cast are props and|or animated furniture. And the cherry on a cake is, of course the bar scene in a backwater Afghani village near the Soviet border, with hard liquor on sale, girls band consisting of bass and sax she-players with cleavages, and a half naked male dancer writhing on the floor. Oh, and the glorified hard labor colony for spies, smugglers, and hard currency dealers, all those felons who were supposed to have contacts with foreigners, of course. My dad used to say that here there were three kinds of movies, good, bad, and those produced by the Dovzhenko studios. This one belongs to the last category. Priceless.
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