Will & Grace (1998–2020)

John Cleese: Lyle Finster

Quotes 

• [Lyle walks in] 

  Lyle Finster : There she is, the woman who set my heart on fire.

  [Karen rolls her eyes] 

  Lyle Finster : Which is a nice change, since the women I'm usually with cause a burning feeling in an altogether different area.

  Karen : Get lost, David Cop-a-feel. Just because we once made out like drunk straight girls at a frat party, doesn't mean you're wanted here.

  Grace : [to Lyle]  Hi. Welcome to my office. And we usually reserve this kind of talk for casual sex Friday.

  Lyle Finster : Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Lyle Finster.

  Grace : Finster? Oh my God. You're Lorraine's father. You tricked Karen into kissing you.

  Karen : That's right. And it ain't never gonna happen again. No, sir. Not on my watch.

  Lyle Finster : I understand. But I only came here to return the kiss that you left on my lips.

  Karen : What? Give it back!

  [Karen jumps on Lyle and they start making out and growling] 

  Grace : If you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna go in the back and gouge out my eyes and puncture my eardrums.

  Karen : Oh, no, honey, stay. I was just taking back my -

  [realizes] 

  Karen : Hey!

  Lyle Finster : Karen, I'm lost without you. I've tried to fill the void with secretaries and whores, but at the end of the hour, it's you I wish I was paying.

  Grace : Really, I'm uncomfortable.

  Karen : It's never gonna happen between us, Lyle. So beat it.

  Lyle Finster : Very well. But I'll never forget you. Every mouth that I kiss will be your mouth. Every bottom that I slap will be your bottom. Every nipple that I tweak...

  Grace : Please, one of us has to go!

  Karen : Get out.

  Lyle Finster : Very well. But know this: Every vagina...

  Grace : GET OUT!

• [Marion is doing the chicken dance with Lyle at he and Karyn's wedding reception] 

  Marion Finster : Lyle, too bad our father isn't alive to see this!

  Lyle Finster : ...He isn't?

  Marion Finster : Oh, damn, I knew there was something I was supposed to tell you.

• [Lyle has chosen Karen over Lorraine] 

  Lyle Finster : I-I'm sorry, Lorraine. I love you, but I'm not in love with you, and I *am* in love with Karen.

  Karen : What? You are?

  Lyle Finster : Yes, and it's - it's never happened to me before.

  Lorraine : But what about my mummy?

  Lyle Finster : Well, I-I wasn't so much *in* love with mummy as I was *in* an alley and *out* of condoms.