(1985 Video)

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Extremely sloppy porn filler from an ego-tripping Bruce 7
lor_4 September 2015
Alas, IMDb voters tend to give this clunky XXX video a perfect 10 rating, but not only is it far from perfection but a downright travesty. Prolific but untalented Bruce Seven spent no effort on the project and it shows.

As often is the case, a fine cast is wasted, and likely high ratings and enthusiasm are generated by fans of the players, a biased sample if ever there was one. Marketed on DVD under Christy Canyon's name by ABA in one of its 3-fer collections, video actually stars Heather Wayne, Amber Lynn and Gail Force as newcomers to L.A. trying to break into show biz. The time-honored theme dates back to exploitation roadshow movies of the 1930s, but Seven adds nothing to the lore except jokes you have to wait for until the end credits (i.e., naming the unscrupulous and horny talent agents of his cast Jim South and William Morris).

I was appalled at the very sloppy construction of the video, which is more an assemblage of footage than a completed project. I cannot recall either a mainstream (those dreaded "indies") or porn effusion slapped together in such cavalier fashion, apart from compilations or loop carriers.

With no script credit (many scenes are poorly improvised with the cast struggling to think of something to say), there is merely a succession of sex scenes with the most rudimentary of buildups. Basically, the girls visit agents' offices in search of representation and work assignments, and are treated to casting couch action. For the fans, Christy Canyon plays a receptionist who throws in an extra, lesbian style, casting audition of Heather Wayne replete with a dildo.

When the women finally get work, it is a dubious bondage video helmed by Bruce Seven himself, wearing a Superman t-shirt and reciting his expository lines as if the director (himself) were pointing a gun to his head. The desultory bondage/orgy scene is awful, merely an excuse for lots of humping, cast dressed in bondage gear, and some BDSM lite in the form of whipping. It's there largely to advertise Seven's endless line of S&M videos, many of which improbably remain in print via pointless DVD reissues.

Height of crappiness and insincerity occurs when Seven as director of film within a film keeps calling Lynn "Amber" instead of using the character's name Barbara - he's directing this piece of crap so he should know what he named her!

The structural mess is embodied by endless cross-cutting, credited to untalented editors Loretta Sterling (executive producer of this farrago and male to boot) and Dave Quick, between sex scenes. Forget about real-time (or story chronology), a sex scene here (such as boss Peter North humping receptionist Christy Canyon) will pop up as continuation an hour later in the video, almost randomly. Charting the edits would be easy, but watching the result is tiresome in the extreme - a forerunner of the meretricious Christopher Nolan syndrome of modern times.

Certainly fans of Gail, Heather and Christy will be pleased to see their favorites in action, but each has scores of far better performances to watch. Most of the feature is dominated by its lively library music soundtrack, to which the generic sex footage is superimposed. I especially enjoyed listening (for the umpteenth time) to porn covers of Sade's "Smooth Operator" and the Harold Faltermeyer "Beverly Hills Cop" background music, both very fresh back in 1984/85 when this stinker was produced. Random posters as office backdrop to sex scenes range from Hal Ashby's "Being There" to a vintage one-sheet for the Rick Cassidy vehicle "The California Connection".
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