User Reviews

Of all the movies in the history of movies I can't imagine someone sitting down and saying, I want to spend X amount of dollars (or pounds sterling) to remake that flawed classic film called "Breeders." Lots of stories have been turned into films about meteors coming to Earth with something sinister lurking inside. Why not put your money into making a spectacular 3D remake of "It Came from Outer Space" instead? Why look for a dingy nudie flick that existed only for the purpose of showing off a rubbery set of monsters and some naked coeds? Was the script for the 1986 version of "Breeders" so inspiring that these producers felt it had to be done again and this time done correctly? When you come down to it, the only reason this film exists is to show off Britcom cutie pie Samantha Janus. But if you're gonna make a skin flick and exploit Sam Janus in it, you'd better have her more naked than this and naked more often than this if you want to succeed.

Meteor lands ... monster escapes ... coeds duff their clothes ... monster eats people ... and another "what if?" ending ensues.

Honestly, I never thought I would ever recommend the original "Breeders" over any other film but this would be the one to come in 2nd Place to it.

A meteorite crashes on Earth and unleashes an alien beast (Clifton Lloyd Bryan in an obvious and unconvincing rubber suit) that wants to procreate its species with nubile young human women on a Boston, Massachusetts college campus. It's up to lecherous jerk art teacher Ashley (a drippy performance by the charisma-challenged Todd Jensen) to stop it. Writer/director Paul Matthews, who previously failed to deliver the goods with the lousy subterranean creature feature "Grim," doesn't do it once again with this celluloid stinkbomb: The overly talky script, sluggish pace, meandering narrative, complete dearth of tension and vitality, cruddy (less than) special effects, blah acting from an insipid cast, limply staged monster attack scenes, and an inert and unexciting climax all make this movie a heavy mind-numbing chore to endure. Worse yet, this drab flick crucially fails to realize the sleazy potential of its gloriously lurid premise: There's precious little in the way of either graphic gore or gratuitous female nudity. Only Samantha Janus' frequently erect nipples and the striking pulchritudinous presence of Kadamba Simmons as the mysterious space girl prevent this picture from being a total wash-out. A hopelessly tedious clunker.

"Breeders" is a great example of a guilty pleasure.

**SPOILERS**

A meteorite crash-lands near a College University, and a piece is removed and taken for study. Art teacher Ashley Rowe, (Todd Jensen) and student Louise, (Samantha Janus) suspect something weird is involved with the fragment, and a murder on campus finally convinces them. After several more women disappear from the college, they begin to investigate the meteorite more. A police force arrives to deal with the story, and they all end up slaughtered. Police Chief Horace, (Nigel Harrison) trying to save face after the disaster, agrees with the two faculty members that an alien force is loose on campus and they have to work together to put a stop to it.

The Good News: There are very few examples of a cheese-fest, but this one clearly falls into that category. Practically everything here is an example. From the constant nudity to the almost non-descriptive story to the setting, everything here has a feeling of cheese. There's some moments that are indicative of other styles creeping in. A long sequence where the alien stalks a group of policemen through a series of catacombs. It shows the main sign in the film where it doesn't try to be a cheesy film and aspires to something more serious. It has some suspense woven through, a couple of minor shocks when the creature comes roaring out to take a victim, and the combination makes it look a lot more like a horror film than a cult film. The creature itself is one of the best parts, with the appearance of a large imposing creature, with big claws, a huge mid-section and mean, imposing head with large fangs and rows of teeth. It makes for an impressive looking creature. And then there's the nudity, again, which is never a bad thing either.

The Bad News: Any movie with this much cheese has some bad things with it. The biggest one to hurt this film is it's very slow pace. It doesn't seem like the kind of plot that should sustain a film as long as this one is, forcing a lot of scenes to carry out longer than they should and ruining the pace. It's not as tight as it should be, and at times, it meanders around for far too long than it should. There is also a lot of moments that are either written to the point of confusion or show what little thought was put into it. The college that only has about a dozen or so attendants. There's only one teacher on campus, and therefore one class being taught, and the entire subplot with the police are mere examples. There is some other small little outcries here and there, but they aren't as damaging to the film as the other ones are.

The Final Verdict: Guilty of mainly being a cheese-fest, that doesn't mean it's all that bad. It's got a little bit of everything that makes it a little better than it should be. It's still got some problems, so take caution with it and it will be, at best, a guilty pleasure.

Rated R: Graphic Language, Nudity, Graphic Violence, and attempted interspecies Rape

The alien in this movie has a funny way to go about saving its planet. It's mating with us, but also killing us, so that seems kind of over the line, you know? How lucky for that alien to land in an all-girls school, I guess. Or unlucky, if I'm taking the side of the humans.

Also known as Breeders, this movie left me with so many questions. Why is Ashley the only teacher? Who is that woman in the leather running about the place? Why is she called Space Girl? Is this a remake of the 1986 film Breeders? Can a shotgun kill a breeder alien? Was the ending setting up a sequel?

Sadly, the actress who played Space Girl, Kadamba Simmons, was murdered by an ex-boyfriend not long after this movie was finished. I really enjoyed her in this film, a true bright spot in a film that's kind of dull.

DEADLY INSTINCTS is a cheesy British ALIEN rip-off in which a meteorite lands on Earth, emitting a slimy alien intent on massacre and reproduction and a random hot space girl who adds nothing to the storyline whatsoever. The most laughable thing about this production is that it pretends to be an American movie, when in fact it was shot on the Isle of Man and nothing feels American for a moment, from the buildings to the rented cop car and the dodgy accents. Oliver Tobias plays the dogged detective on the case, but the stand out is Samantha Janus who would go on to much more fame and prominence in the succeeding years. Expect lots of cheese and random nudity in the place of a real plot.

Okay what to say? The original Breeders (1986) was a really bad movie. The monster look like a college kid wearing a bug mask and a garbage bag. The acting was non-existent, the story was just as non-existent, the directing was non-existent. Are you detecting a pattern here?

Fast forward 10 years later, the director of Grim, Paul Matthews, helms this remake. Looking at the creature design on the VHS cover, I actually was sold on the movie, until I read the title. All I could think is why the hell with anybody think about remaking a movie that was so terrible that nothing could save it? So, my curiosity got the best of me, I shelled out $2 and rented it.

While I will admit the creature looked mildly more realistic, and when I say mildly I mean to the mildest, any other redeeming quality was lost in a series of bad special effects, bad acting, and a bad story that felt like it has been done to death.

Now, a question to any aspiring movie makers out there. If it ain't broke don't fix it. If it's broken beyond repair, don't bother!

I was originally going to give this one star, but I decided to add two extra stars because the creature design was worth it. At least when you don't have to stare at for long periods of time and realize that it's just a guy in a costume!

It's strange what fate does to some people. While looking in the discount bin at a DVD retailer, I came across a copy of Deadly Instincts. Being a collector of any film that is either sci-fi, horror or featuring alien monsters, I decided to buy it (not to mention the fact that it cost five dollars – a bargain, believe me). After viewing it, I came to the opinion that it was nothing special. But after doing some research on the Internet, I discovered that the film was actually called Breeders & was a remake of the Tim Kincaid horror flick that menaced video stores in the mid-1980s. Which I've already seen. My appreciation of "Deadly Instincts" grew following that discovery.

A meteorite crashes on the lawn next to a private girls' college. The sole teacher there, Ashley (played by Todd Jensen – that's right, the guy who gets turned into a cyborg in the cult flick CYBORG COP four years earlier), notices that some of the students are beginning to disappear, while encountering a black-haired woman with a scarred face & wearing a kinky leather outfit. His investigation reveals that an alien creature had hitched a ride on the meteorite & had come to Earth to breed using the local womenfolk. Along with a local detective who believes him to be responsible for the disappearances, Ashley tries to stop the monster.

The original BREEDERS, directed by Tim Kincaid (who would leave the genre to make gay porn), was a sci-fi / horror film which was actually a thinly-veiled soft-core porn film designed to take skin flicks to genre fans. It is, in my belief, one of the worst films made in the 1980s. Why anyone would want to remake it is quite a mystery.

This remake is actually a better effort than its low-budget source. The film, which takes the basic concept of an alien monster trying to interbreed with human women, eliminates any pornographic elements. In fact, the film is actually very tame. There are no sex scenes, no nudity (even during the shower scene), swearing & violence are kept to a minimal level & there is no gore (which may cheat gorehounds). This makes the remake a film safe for the whole family, that is if the kids aren't scared by alien monsters (which brings me to the film's M 15+ rating, which seems a bit much).

Tameness of subject matter aside, the film does have some faults. The script, while featuring some good characterizations, has a number of holes so big you can crash a meteor through.

What? You're mad at me for that? Come on, this review needed a bad pun so it will remain interesting.

Anyway, the film's setting is one problem the script failed to fix – the film is set in Boston but the buildings don't look like they belong in Boston. Something about the architecture ain't right. Another thing is the college itself, with a rather large building housing about twenty students (all female, of course) & only having one class – art. The only teacher there has a relationship with a student (& so does the janitor!), which somehow escapes the attention of the principal. Not to mention the cops, who are so one-dimensional (& stupid) that the real Boston PD would have a good case if they ever decided to sue. Oh, & the meteor… well the chance that a meteor which is sent from Saturn (check the opening credits) reaches Earth with no onboard propulsion is astronomical. That doesn't include the chances that any passengers in the meteor will survive the landing.

As far as the acting goes, Todd Jensen gives a dependable performance as the heroic teacher while the late Kadamba Simmons (who was murdered by her boyfriend shortly before the film came out) cuts a striking figure in that leather outfit, as well as proving she can act. The visual effects are run-of-the-mill, with credits due to the filmmakers for bringing us a cool-looking monster.