- Lisa: It doesn't surprise me that there's another woman. Of course, the fact that she's dead gives one pause.
- Maggie Witzky: I didn't marry you 'cause you were going to be famous. I liked the way your ass looked in jeans.
- Tom Witzky: I never wanted to be famous. I just never expected to be so...
- Maggie Witzky: What?
- Tom Witzky: I don't know, ordinary.
- Frank McCarthy: They were going to kill you in cold blood. I couldn't let that happen. Not here. This is a decent neighborhood!
- Sheila: [to her husband after he stares at a group of girls] Why don't you just lick 'em when they walk by?
- Lisa: There's only eight percent of the population that's, like, highly hypnotizable. I mean, almost anybody can go under a little, but not way under. Not freaky under. Like he did.
- Neil the Cop: It comes and goes. Some people have it for five seconds. Some their whole lives. He's a receiver now. Everything's coming in. He can't stop it, he can't slow it down, he can't even figure it out. It's like he's in a tunnel with a flashlight. But the light only comes on every once in a while. He gets a glimpse of something, but not enough to know what it is. Just enough to know it's there.
- Maggie Witzky: Jake, too?
- Neil the Cop: Your son? Much better flashlight.
- Lisa: So, she's six weeks pregnant. That means the baby's due in... April, May... June. Gemini. That's cool. Einstein was a Gemini. So's that Scottish gal from Garbage.
- Tom Witzky: Will you go help Jake with his pajamas?
- Lisa: If she's late...
- Tom Witzky: Lisa, I swear to God, start with the Dionne Warwick stuff and I'll throw you out of the fuckin' window, so please help him with the pajamas.
- Lisa: Love you, too, Tom.
- Maggie Witzky: She's a witch. She took one look at me and guessed. Well, say something.
- Tom Witzky: Bummer.
- Maggie Witzky: Something else.
- Lisa: Animal.
- Tom Witzky: What'd I do this time?
- Lisa: Should I tell him?
- Maggie Witzky: If you wanna die!
- Lisa: Well, your beer-addled sperm still works.
- Maggie Witzky: LISA?
- Lisa: You impregnated my sister again.
- Maggie Witzky: BITCH!
- Lisa: I thought you wanted me to tell him.
- Maggie Witzky: Why, because I said don't?
- [first lines]
- Jake Witzky: [to someone] Okay. Guess who came over to play...
- [singing]
- Jake Witzky: Superheros. I was Black Power Ranger. He was Batman.
- Tom Witzky: Jake, you okay in there buddy?
- Jake Witzky: I'm okay.
- [to whoever else]
- Jake Witzky: Can I ask you a question?
- Tom Witzky: Okay, time to hit the sack.
- [coming into the bathroom]
- Jake Witzky: An important question.
- Tom Witzky: Here we go big guy, C'mon.
- Jake Witzky: Can I wear bugs?
- Tom Witzky: Bug pajamas, uh, are all the way downstairs. But the fire trucks are here. They're okay for tonight.
- Jake Witzky: Bugs.
- Tom Witzky: Fire trucks.
- Jake Witzky: Bugs.
- Tom Witzky: Fire trucks.
- Jake Witzky: Bugs.
- Tom Witzky: Okay, bugs. Be right back...
- Jake Witzky: [to whoever else again] Does it hurt to be dead?
- Neil the Cop: Boy's got the eyes on him, doesn't he? X-ray. Not you, though. Possibly daddy.
- Maggie Witzky: [numbly nodding agreement]
- Neil the Cop: They're not the only ones.