But I'm a Cheerleader (1999)

Cathy Moriarty: Mary Brown

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joel : What about foreplay?

  Mary : No! Foreplay is for sissies! Real men go in, unload and pull out!

• Megan : I'm a homosexual!

  [shouting] 

  Megan : I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual! Oh my god... they were right. I'm a homo.

  Mary : Congratulations, Megan. You have just taken your first step in your true direction!

  [group therapy applauds then embraces her] 

  Megan : I'm a homosex...

  [cries] 

  Mary : Okay. Go on now. Don't worry, Megan. It's gonna be okay.

  Megan : [drooling]  No.

  Mary : Here, put these on.

  Megan : [sobbing]  Oh my god... they were right. I'm a homo. Oh, my god!

• Mary : Ok, then, who's left to report out their root? Andre?

  Andre : Shit, Ms. Mary, I ain't the only one who ain't got no root.

  Mary : Andre, we don't use profanity or double negatives here at True Directions. Ok, who's next? Megan!

  Megan : Well, I've really been thinking but I just can't think of anything.

  Graham : I think our little Prom Queen is too afraid to disclose.

  Megan : Oh, really? What's your root, Graham?

  Graham : We're working on your issue here, not mine. You're deflecting.

  Mary : Actually, I think it might be a great idea for Megan to be reminded of your root, Graham.

  Graham : My mother got married in pants.

  [group applauds] 

  Mary : All right, let's see, uh, Dolph!

  Dolph : Too many locker room showers with the varsity team.

  Mary : Hilary?

  Hilary : Um, all girl boarding school.

  Mary : Sinead.

  Sinead : I was born in France.

  Mary : Clayton.

  Clayton Dunn : My mom let me play in her pumps.

  Jan : I like balls.

  Mary : Why, thank you for that Jan.

  [group applauds] 

  Mary : Joel?

  Joel : Traumatic... bris. So... yeah.

• Mary : Have you ever had a boyfriend?

  Megan : Yes. For 2 years, we've been going steady. And I really love him. He's smart, and popular...

  Graham : [interrupting, sarcastically]  And he's got the biggest dick I've never seen.

  Hilary : Well, um, have you ever - had sex with him?

  Megan : I'm a Christian.

  Hilary : It's really easy to be a prude when you're not attracted to him, isn't it?

• Mary : [to Graham, after she caught her making out with Megan]  It's your choice: you can run off with Megan and turn into a raging bull-dyke, or you can do the simulation and graduate and lead a normal life.

• Mary : Get out of bed! You hormonal hussy! I can't believe you did this. You were supposed to be the role model! Now, Get - Up - Right - Now!