Norm (1999–2001)

Max Wright: Max Denby

Quotes 

• Mr. Denby : Norm, I'd like to talk to you regarding our long distance policy (MacDonald, Norm@Norm Henderson)

  [on the phone] 

  Mr. Denby : : Okay, sir

  Mr. Denby : You have all these calls to China. Who do you know in China?

  Norm Henderson : Well, no one until you call, sir. Hold on one second.

  [into phone, in Chinese] 

  Norm Henderson : Ni hao ma. Ding hai Prince Albert in a can?

• [contest-winning punchline] 

  Mr. Denby : The men's bathroom is disgusting. Tell her, Norm.

  Norm : There's a bathroom in this building? I've been using the donut shop across the street.

  Laurie : You go all the way across the street just to use the bathroom in the donut shop?

  Norm : There's a bathroom in the donut shop?

• Max Denby : My ex-wife, who for the purposes of this conversation I'll just call... biiiitttccchhh!

• Max Denby : [looking at Artie]  Norm, you never told me you brought in your pet gorilla from the zoo today.

• Max Denby : Artie, are you able to contribute or think of anything worth of USE to this office?

  Artie Henderson : [Artie farts extremely loudly and for a long period of time]  Yeah I really gotta lay off the cheese blintzes.

• Max Denby : I had to eat a bowl of fruity pebbles this morning!

  Norm : No wonder you have such a fruity personality.

• Norm Henderson : I hate you. You've never given me anything to be happy for!

  Max Denby : I gave you life!

• Max Denby : Norm, I've finally got you RIGHT where I want you.

  Norm : What? I'm not in a mattress in the back of your van, sir.