Loons (1991) Poster

(1991)

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Worst DVD in the history of cinema Part 1: Loons
movieman_kev15 October 2003
Why the Summary? Well i caught this "movie" (note the quotation marks) on a DVD released by Sub-Rosa that also had "Cutthroats" on it, it also had a short on it, but my DVD player broke down before I got to see it (must have gotten good taste).

I started Loons hoping for the best, which i do for all independent films. I sat through the Prologue in utter disbelief. it was 15 of the most mind-numbing, cringe-inducing piece of excrement that I have ever been subjected to. After 15 MINUTES the titles begun playing..the opening titles. I thought to myself ok, now it'll get better, because it can't get worse.. I was wrong. I was SO VERY wrong. I have no idea how long this was, it felt like hours upon hours upon hours on end. with NOTHING happening, the "movie" just was running in circles just like some mongoloid puppy that is missing it's left front leg & a tail. The "movies" about some curse that makes Loon men crazy. Get It Loon?? Thats the extent of the "humor" Upon ending the film, i choose to watch the second feature on this DVD..was it good?? Stay tuned for part two (CutThroats) I'll give you a hint on the answer...HELL NO!!!

My Grade: F-
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