Crocodile (2000 Video)
Terrence Evans: Shurkin
Quotes
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Stanley the Fisherman : Oh hey. Sorry to drag you guys down here like this. I didn't know what else to do.
Sheriff Bowman : Yeah.
Stanley the Fisherman : I got what I could with the net. I'm sure they're still some out there. I..frankly don't have the stomach to look.
[Opens the cooler to reveal the severed head and arm of Hubs]
Sheriff Bowman : Oh christ!
Shurkin : Ha ha ha ha ha. That's a crocodile, all right. Do you mind, Sheriff?
Sheriff Bowman : Go ahead.
Shurkin : [picks up the severed head] Takes a lot to sever a spine. You see a crocodile's teeth intertwine. They snap shut with 40 tons of pressure. I can't tell you how bad this is, Sheriff.
Sheriff Bowman : Ho, ho. You don't have too.
Shurkin : You got no idea. You see, a crocodile usually finishes her meal. She ain't doing this 'cause she's hungry. She's on a rampage. Whoever messed with them eggs made her good and mad.
Sheriff Bowman : I guess we better go back to the station and get the guns.
Shurkin : Biggest ones you got.
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Sheriff Bowman : [At night on boat] I've had some bad spring breaks. '92 was a doozie, but jesus christ!
Shurkin : Shh. You feel it? She's out there, waiting. What she don't know is that by the time this evening's over, I'm gonna have a new trophy over my fireplace.
Sheriff Bowman : God, I hope so.
[sees the hotel]
Sheriff Bowman : I hate that place. Every time I see that, it makes my skin crawl.
Shurkin : Yeah, it's evil all right. Any place that'd house that demon croc is evil.
Sheriff Bowman : Amen.
Shurkin : I seen her, you know.
Sheriff Bowman : Really?
Shurkin : On one of the many huntin' trips I took with my daddy, lookin' for her. Most of 'em come to nothin'. But this day, she rose up out of the swamp, all scarred and covered with barnacles.
Sheriff Bowman : Then what happened?
Shurkin : Oh, she rose up with a mighty roar. She fixed her yellow eyes on my daddy, and he fired his shotgun right into her side. She never took her eyes off him. She had him fixed in a death stare. And bullets didn't mean nothin' to her. When she decided to go, the water around her exploded. She's gone.
Sheriff Bowman : What a story you got there, Shurkin.
Shurkin : 2 days later, my daddy went out to check his traps. He never come back. Now, people in town says it's 'cause he run off with some two-bit whore. I know different.
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Sheriff Bowman : You boys missing something?
Lester : What are you talking about?
Sheriff Bowman : You sure one of your gators didn't take a little vacation?
Lester : Oh, you know we keep them locked up tight. What's left of them. God bless 'em.
Sheriff Bowman : [shows him broken crocodile egg] Looks like Mama got loose.
Lester : Shurkin!
Shurkin : I told you, keep him outta here!
Lester : Shurkin, You really should come take a look at this.
Shurkin : You got a search warrant this time?
Sheriff Bowman : [hands him the broken egg] I got a nest of smashed gator eggs and 2 dead fishermen. I got enough to close you up for good.
Shurkin : [laughing] And what good is that gonna do you? This aint no gator egg, Sheriff. It's somethin' much worse. A crocodile. And a pissed off one at that.
Sheriff Bowman : Gator, Crocodile-- What's the difference?
Shurkin : [They go outside and he takes a tiny gator egg and compares it to the much larger broken crocodile egg] That's a gator egg, Sheriff. If I'd tried that with a croc. Let's just say you'd be tying a tourniquet around the stump where my arm used to be. I'd say we're looking at, uh... 20 feet, maybe more. We all know who that is.
Sheriff Bowman : Shurkin, You still tellin' that old story?
Lester : He knows. You could say he's got a history of the Flat Dog.
Shurkin : That's god's honest truth. That Egyptian croc tore my grandpappy to bits. And my daddy? Well, let's just say I've been waitin' my whole life to even the score.
Sheriff Bowman : Damn it, Shurkin, that'd be 100 years ago.
Shurkin : 96 to be exact. Hell that's nothin'. Crocs live 100-150 years, easy. You're gonna need all the help you can get, partner. A croc that size grab you in its 3-inch teeth, drag you under the water till your ears pop. Just about the time you're gonna drown, it'll start to spin. Round and round. We call it the death roll. Pretty soon every joint in your body is all dislocated. You're just a flappin' bit of meat. Then she'll either swallow you up right there or shove you under some root and wait for you to soften.
Sheriff Bowman : You tryin' to scare me, or are you offerin' to help?
Shurkin : I ain't offering shit, Sheriff. I'm exercisin' my birthright. But without me that monster's gonna eat everything in its path.
Sheriff Bowman : Lester, how about you?
Lester : Ah, I gotta stick around. It's feedin' time.
