Crocodile (2000 Video)

Adam Gierasch: Lester

Quotes 

• Sheriff Bowman : You boys missing something?

  Lester : What are you talking about?

  Sheriff Bowman : You sure one of your gators didn't take a little vacation?

  Lester : Oh, you know we keep them locked up tight. What's left of them. God bless 'em.

  Sheriff Bowman : [shows him broken crocodile egg]  Looks like Mama got loose.

  Lester : Shurkin!

  Shurkin : I told you, keep him outta here!

  Lester : Shurkin, You really should come take a look at this.

  Shurkin : You got a search warrant this time?

  Sheriff Bowman : [hands him the broken egg]  I got a nest of smashed gator eggs and 2 dead fishermen. I got enough to close you up for good.

  Shurkin : [laughing]  And what good is that gonna do you? This aint no gator egg, Sheriff. It's somethin' much worse. A crocodile. And a pissed off one at that.

  Sheriff Bowman : Gator, Crocodile-- What's the difference?

  Shurkin : [They go outside and he takes a tiny gator egg and compares it to the much larger broken crocodile egg]  That's a gator egg, Sheriff. If I'd tried that with a croc. Let's just say you'd be tying a tourniquet around the stump where my arm used to be. I'd say we're looking at, uh... 20 feet, maybe more. We all know who that is.

  Sheriff Bowman : Shurkin, You still tellin' that old story?

  Lester : He knows. You could say he's got a history of the Flat Dog.

  Shurkin : That's god's honest truth. That Egyptian croc tore my grandpappy to bits. And my daddy? Well, let's just say I've been waitin' my whole life to even the score.

  Sheriff Bowman : Damn it, Shurkin, that'd be 100 years ago.

  Shurkin : 96 to be exact. Hell that's nothin'. Crocs live 100-150 years, easy. You're gonna need all the help you can get, partner. A croc that size grab you in its 3-inch teeth, drag you under the water till your ears pop. Just about the time you're gonna drown, it'll start to spin. Round and round. We call it the death roll. Pretty soon every joint in your body is all dislocated. You're just a flappin' bit of meat. Then she'll either swallow you up right there or shove you under some root and wait for you to soften.

  Sheriff Bowman : You tryin' to scare me, or are you offerin' to help?

  Shurkin : I ain't offering shit, Sheriff. I'm exercisin' my birthright. But without me that monster's gonna eat everything in its path.

  Sheriff Bowman : Lester, how about you?

  Lester : Ah, I gotta stick around. It's feedin' time.