Television, that master illusionist, can conjure universes out of a hat, inhabited by the wild creations of tortured souls, watched by millions in the belief that what they are seeing is reality.
Thanks to television, I thought Johnny Morris was a zoo keeper, Jack Hargreaves lived and breathed the countryside, Kelly Monteith and Gabrielle Drake were husband and wife, and that 'The Wheeltappers & Shunters Social Club' was a real Northern working men's club. Was I gullible - or were these illusions really that convincing?
Every Saturday night, the doors would open, and we'd see Bernard Manning, elbow on the bar, eyeing the busty barmaid, and announcing the 'turns', with fellow 'Comedians' star Colin Crompton ringing a bell every now and then and uttering spoof resolutions, all prefaced with 'On behalf of the Committeeeeeeeeee....'.
The attention to detail was indeed impressive; recognisable brands of beer such as 'Double Diamond' were on sale, along with 'Golden Wonder Jungle Fresh' salted peanuts, the ashtrays looked full, you'd spot people carrying trays of beer and crisps to their tables and wandering off to the toilet between ( and sometimes during ) the 'turns', with pictures of Harold Wilson ( the then-Prime Minister ) prominently displayed. The set was a masterpiece of design. To add further authenticity, the customers smoked, resulting in a thick fog hanging over the Brycreem and Harmony hairspray covered heads.
What about the 'turns'? These included acts one hadn't seen in years, such as Bill Haley & The Comets, Freddie Garrity, Buddy Greco, Tessie O'Shea, Yana and Kathy Kirby, while others were up and coming stars such as Cannon & Ball and the late impressionist Dustin Gee. Viewers never wondered how a humble workingmen's club could afford such famous people.
I was not alone in being taken in by Johhny Hamp's illusion; apparently Granada received hundreds of letters each week from people wanting tickets. As a young boy unable to drink in pubs or clubs, this show was compulsive viewing, giving me a foretaste of the joys of adulthood. As soon as as I was eighteen, I planned to put my name down for membership.
When Granada Plus repeated 'Shunters' in the mid-90's, I tuned in and found that the illusion was as strong as ever. We may not have been watching a real club, but what we got was immeasurably better. No brawling in the street, no mad scrabble to find a taxi after eleven o'clock, and best of all, no hangover the next morning. Now that's what I call magic!
Thanks to television, I thought Johnny Morris was a zoo keeper, Jack Hargreaves lived and breathed the countryside, Kelly Monteith and Gabrielle Drake were husband and wife, and that 'The Wheeltappers & Shunters Social Club' was a real Northern working men's club. Was I gullible - or were these illusions really that convincing?
Every Saturday night, the doors would open, and we'd see Bernard Manning, elbow on the bar, eyeing the busty barmaid, and announcing the 'turns', with fellow 'Comedians' star Colin Crompton ringing a bell every now and then and uttering spoof resolutions, all prefaced with 'On behalf of the Committeeeeeeeeee....'.
The attention to detail was indeed impressive; recognisable brands of beer such as 'Double Diamond' were on sale, along with 'Golden Wonder Jungle Fresh' salted peanuts, the ashtrays looked full, you'd spot people carrying trays of beer and crisps to their tables and wandering off to the toilet between ( and sometimes during ) the 'turns', with pictures of Harold Wilson ( the then-Prime Minister ) prominently displayed. The set was a masterpiece of design. To add further authenticity, the customers smoked, resulting in a thick fog hanging over the Brycreem and Harmony hairspray covered heads.
What about the 'turns'? These included acts one hadn't seen in years, such as Bill Haley & The Comets, Freddie Garrity, Buddy Greco, Tessie O'Shea, Yana and Kathy Kirby, while others were up and coming stars such as Cannon & Ball and the late impressionist Dustin Gee. Viewers never wondered how a humble workingmen's club could afford such famous people.
I was not alone in being taken in by Johhny Hamp's illusion; apparently Granada received hundreds of letters each week from people wanting tickets. As a young boy unable to drink in pubs or clubs, this show was compulsive viewing, giving me a foretaste of the joys of adulthood. As soon as as I was eighteen, I planned to put my name down for membership.
When Granada Plus repeated 'Shunters' in the mid-90's, I tuned in and found that the illusion was as strong as ever. We may not have been watching a real club, but what we got was immeasurably better. No brawling in the street, no mad scrabble to find a taxi after eleven o'clock, and best of all, no hangover the next morning. Now that's what I call magic!
