My First Mister (2001)

Leelee Sobieski: Jennifer - 'J'

Photos 

Quotes 

• Randy Harris, Jr. : Shut up, Sybil. Shut up.

  Jennifer ("J") : Sybil?

  Randy Harris, Jr. : Yeah, you know Sybil? The woman with eight home phone numbers? It's not necessarily a bad thing. A plethora of personalities can be very enchanting.

  Jennifer ("J") : Fuck you.

  Randy Harris, Jr. : Fuck you.

  Jennifer ("J") : Fuck *you*!

  Randy Harris, Jr. : Fuck you. All eight of you.

• Randall ("R") : [after refusing J's offer to buy him a cup of coffee]  Actually it's almost nine o'clock.

  Jennifer ("J") : Right, so?

  Randall ("R") : Well, I'm usually home by nine.

  Jennifer ("J") : What happens at nine?

  Randall ("R") : I turn into the same person I am.

• Randall ("R") : I'm forty-nine years old.

  Jennifer ("J") : I'm seventeen. Nice to meet you.

• Jennifer ("J") : I'd like to propose a toast to all the special 'f' words - to friends, family, fate, forgiveness, and forever.

• Jennifer ("J") : So much stuff, so little time to snoop.

• Jennifer ("J") : Technically I'm still a virgin. There was this one day in third grade when Matthew Kingsley came over and we played doctor. He confused my vagina with my anus and took my temperature with a fire engine red crayon. From then on whenever I'd hear a siren I'd giggle.

• Jennifer ("J") : [while shopping for "salesman" clothes with Randall "R"]  The last time I had this much weird fun was with the fire engine red crayon.

• Randall ("R") : What's he like?

  Jennifer ("J") : Oh, he's kinda like you.

  Randall ("R") : He's an asshole?

  Jennifer ("J") : Oh worse than that. He's a pathetic loser asshole.

  Randall ("R") : That's my boy. So you *like* him.

  Jennifer ("J") : Nooo. Are you mental?

  Randall ("R") : Totally. I've gotten down with it. I've boogied.

  Jennifer ("J") : OK Shaft.

• Randall ("R") : I'm old, I'm George Burns.

  Jennifer ("J") : Who's George Burns?

  Randall ("R") : I'm Uncle Fester, I'm Andy of Mayberry, I'm Mr. Roper, I'm Grandpa Munster.

  Jennifer ("J") : Okay, okay, I get it.

• Jennifer ("J") : I'm so sorry.

  Randy Harris, Jr. : Thanks a lot, Twilight Zone.

• Randy Harris, Jr. : Wanna come up for lunch?

  Jennifer ("J") : [Immitating Randy]  I'll eat but I'm not talking.

  Jennifer ("J") : [about "R"]  And we didn't do it, okay! He's just the greatest person I met in my entire life!

  Randy Harris, Jr. : Turkey and swiss okay?

• Randall ("R") : Listen to me very carefully. I am not getting a fucking tattoo.

  Jennifer ("J") : Oooh, you said the really bad word.

  Randall ("R") : Yeah, I did. I am in fact the boy who cried fuck.

• Jennifer ("J") : Death touched her lips to say goodbye and to always remember the man who touched her first, touched her with his heart. That is forever hers, my first mister. A man of few words. Life of more questions than answers. He awoke in me my heart which beats stronger because of him and all that he has left me.