Hägar the Horrible (1989 TV Short)
Josh Rodine: Hamlet, Kid
Quotes
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Hägar : [Helga is cleaning and humming as Hagar comes home; she soon wipes one of the horns on his helmet, but Hagar shoves her away] Helga! Will you stop cleaning and listen to me? I thought the problem was the Viking Academy and Olaf, but they're as good as ever. The problem is the kids, and how *you've* been bringing them up!
Helga : Look, if you think you can do better, oh great wise one, be my guest.
Hägar : All right, watch this.
[calls Honi and Hamlet]
Hägar : Honi! Hamlet!
Honi : Yeah, Dad?
Hamlet : Whatcha want?
Hägar : Look: you kids mean the world to me, but your mother's been letting you get away with murder. Well, it won't be that way now that *I'm* home. Honi, I forbid you to marry any man who can't meet Viking standards, so forget your engagement to that weird guy, Lute.
Honi : Huh?
Hägar : Hamlet, I forbid you to read any more books until you improve your Viking skills and the Viking Academy agrees to take you back.
Hamlet : What?
Hägar : We'll start working at it first thing tomorrow. Well, that's all.
Hamlet : Gee!
Honi : Aww!
[they both leave, guilt-stricken]
Hägar : So, whaddya think?
Helga : I wouldn't get my hopes up for Father's Day.
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Hamlet : So you think it's wrong of me not to be glad Dad's home after he's ruined our lives?
Honi : You mean wrong of us.
Hamlet : [patting his books] I can't help it, I love books.
Honi : And I love Lute, but I love Dad, too.
Hamlet : Boy, I bet if we didn't love anything, we wouldn't be having these problems.
Honi : Maybe there's a way to make *everybody* happy.
Hamlet : Gee, that sounds good.
Honi : I'll train Lute to be what Dad wants.
Hamlet : If you could make a Viking out of Lute, I guess I could make a Viking out of me!
