Rock Profile (1999–2009)
David Walliams: Howard Donald, Lee, Agnetha, Alex James, Andrew Ridgeley, Annie Lennox, Art Garfunkel, Barry Gibb, Bez, Bjorn, Bono, Crispin Mills, David Furnish, George Michael, Graham Coxon, Kylie Minogue, Liam Gallagher, Margaret, Marilyn, Michael Jackson, Mike, Nicholas, Pete Doherty, Peter André, Ringo Starr, Simon Le Bon, Simon Philips, Tom, Tom Jones, Various roles
Quotes
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Graham Coxon : I don't like television, too much colours and movement, it's too busy for me. Also, sometimes there's people on it and you don't know whether they're on television or if they're in a room with you but they're just small.
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Presenter : If "Parklife" was considered Damon's album, "13" was very much percieved as your album. Would that be -
Graham Coxon : [interupts] It's not my fault! Nobody showed me how to work the machines! D'you press record and play or is it just record? And I had to play it all on my own!
Presenter : What about Dave and Alex?
Graham Coxon : They wouldn't come in because I play with matches.
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Presenter : So you played all the instruments yourself?
Graham Coxon : Yeah, but I never knew how a lot of 'em worked. I spent weeks trying to blow into the piano.
Graham Coxon : [blows repeatedly] Then all the instruments started talking about me behind me back.
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Gary Barlow : [about the other Take That members] They used to think you were a bully! They used to whisper names behind your back, I heard them! "Bully Barlow!"
Howard Donald : That's your name.
Gary Barlow : Oh.
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Bono : Come to think of it, we still haven't been paid for Live Aid.
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Benny Andersson : Not a lot of people realize our songs are political.
Presenter : What, like "Dancing Queen?"
Benny Andersson : Yeah, this is about the fall of communism.
Presenter : I always thought it was about a dancing queen...
Benny Andersson : It's a metaphor, dum-dum.
Björn Ulvaeus : What do you think "Mamma Mia" is about?
Presenter : Mummies?
Björn Ulvaeus : Vietnam.
Presenter : "The Winner Takes It All?"
Björn Ulvaeus : Jimmy Tarbuck.
Presenter : "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A Man After Midnight?"
Benny Andersson : This is your own private business, we cannot procure men for you.
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Howard Donald : Everybody all right for nibbles?
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Tom Jones : Oh, I'll tell you who I've met: Tom Jones! Smashing knockers...
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Ronan Keating : [Lyrics to Rock the Blind] I can see clearly now, the rain has gone!
Elton John : I can see all obstacles in my way!
[We see Lee and H dancing]
Sting : Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind!
[While he sings, his indian friend walks past]
Cher : [in a robotic voice] It's goin' be a bright, bright, bright, bright sun shiny day!
Shirley Bassey : It's goin' be a bright, bright, bright sun shiny day! Champagne!
Eminem : I think I can make it now. The pain is gone
Craig David : Craig David!
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Paul Simon : [Lyrics continued] All of the...
Art Garfunkel : [interrupting] ...all of the bad feelings have disappeared!
Craig David : Craig David!
Ricky Martin : Here's the rainbow I've been praying for!
[H and Lee look confused]
Tom Jones : Look around, there's nothing but blue skies!
The Bee Gees : Look straight ahead! There's nothing but blue...
Barry Gibb : ...skies!
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Danny : [Lyrics continued] I can see clearly now...
Noel : ...the rain is gone.
Noel/Danny : I can see all obstacles in my way!
Gunner Steele : Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind!
Elton John : It's goin' be a bright...
Heather Small : ...bright...
Sting : ...bright...
Heather Small : ...bright...
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Unknown singer : [Lyrics continued] ...sun shiny day!
Craig David : Still Craig David!
Macy Gray : It's goin' be a bright, bright, bright, bright sun shiny day! Them flies! Oh Lord!
LuLu : It's goin' be a bright, bright, bright, bright sun shiny day!
Gunner Steele : Keep you hands on your ha'penny!
Prince : It's goin' be a bright, bright, bright, bright sun shiny day! Hey! You!
Ronan Keating : It's goin' be a bright, bright sun shiny day! Bye bye!
