Important Business (1944)

Robert Benchley: Joseph A. Doakes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. Doakes : [front door to house opens]  Who's there?

  Joseph A. Doakes : [comes in front door]  Who do ya think? Anybody else got a key?

  Mrs. Doakes : Why, Joe, you're back so soon! Did you just get off the sleeper?

  Joseph A. Doakes : If it's a sleeper, I'm a pole vaulter!

• Porter on Train : I left your suitcase out on the vestibule. You won't be needin' it in here.

  Joseph A. Doakes : You mean this is were I'm going to sleep?

  Porter on Train : This is where you spend the night, sir. I can't guarantee you sleeping.

• Man Who Shaves in Phone Booth : You better sit down. Your man won't be in for hours.

  Joseph A. Doakes : Oh, how do you know?

  Man Who Shaves in Phone Booth : How do we know anything?

  Joseph A. Doakes : Well, I had an appointment this morning. They sent for me.

  Man Who Shaves in Phone Booth : Yeah, I know. Want part of the paper?

  Joseph A. Doakes : Thank you. You waiting for an appointment too?

  Man Who Shaves in Phone Booth : I'm waiting for anything. An appointment, a train, a circus parade. The first thing that comes along, I'll take.

• Joseph A. Doakes : Well, that's how it is gentlemen. If I were allowed to tell you anything more, I would, but, you know how it is in Washington. As the boss said to me the last time I was in Washington, he said, "Joe, in days like these, what you don't say won't hurt you." So, I think I better sit down before I say too much.

• Joseph A. Doakes : That's the way we looked at in Washington. You can say what you like about the way we're running things there. But, after all, Washington is - well, it's Washington. And we want to do the right thing by the public. We want to let 'em in on things. But, you can overdo that, you know. There's no sense in tipping your mitt all the time.