The Original Kings of Comedy (2000)

D.L. Hughley: Self

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Quotes 

• D.L. Hughley : Nobody love God like black folks. Black folks love us some God. Jesus was black. If Jesus was black, the apostles were black, 'cause wouldn't no 12 white men follow no brother. Not unless they was the police and Jesus had a warrant, huh? They ain't have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he was black. Jesus first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Now, if that ain't black folk shit, I don't know what is. "Lord, we done run outta wine!" "Now normally, I don't do this, but, uh... go on head, keep the party goin."

• D.L. Hughley : You can't fire white folk. You fire white folk, you'd best believe somebody gettin' shot that day. "I'm fired? I'll be right back, you sons of bitches." You fire a brother, we be mad for a different reason. "How come you didn't call me at home, motherfucker? You knew I was fired yesterday. Makin' me burn up all my goddamn gas." Black folk kill you about that gas, 'cause we don't fill up all the way, don't we? Just enough gas for the trip we going on. "Gimme two dollars on Pump 1, please. I ain't goin' that goddamn far, shit." You ever been so broke, you get the money out of the ashtray? Don't act like it's just me. Fuck y'all. You go up there, "Gimme 52 cents on Pump 1, please." "What are you driving, a lawn mower?" "Stay outta my goddamn business and put the gas in the fucking car!"