Paragraph 175 (2000)

Klaus Müller: Self - Historian

Quotes 

• Gad Beck : We have to see this romantically, because in such drastic times one tends to be romantic. When bombs fall and explode nearby, one looks to others for closeness and one forgets the bombs, the war, and the stalled train. One is just close to others. One does what everyone does when they are close. That's what one does.

  Self - Historian : You're not going to tell me that while the bombs were falling you made love on the train?

  Gad Beck : But of course I did! But of course! You didn't get that? You are slow, darling. You are slow.

• Heinz Dörmer : The singing forest. That gave us all goosebumps.

  Self - Historian : What was the singing forest?

  Heinz Dörmer : In the ground, there were holes. Concrete holes. Everyone who was sentenced would be lifted up onto the hook. In the Jewish barracks, it was similar. But they were twisted in addition to the hanging. That what was prepared for the Jews. The howling and screaming were inhuman. The singing forest. Inexplicable. Beyond comprehension. And much remains untold.

• Self - Historian : How long were you in concentration camps?

  Heinz F. : Altogether? I added it up once. I think eight and a quarter years.

  Self - Historian : What did you do when you got back?

  Heinz F. : When I came home? I worked in the family store that my brother was running. My father had already died.

  Self - Historian : Did you tell your brother or mother what happened in the camps?

  Heinz F. : I never spoke with my mother about it. I could have talked to my father, but...

  Self - Historian : Why not?

  Heinz F. : Shame. My mother never said anything. It's all about patiently carrying one's burden.

  Self - Historian : Shame, about what?

  Heinz F. : My mother? You mean my mother? Maybe it was from compassion, so she wouldn't offend me or make it even harder for me. Not even one word from her.

  Self - Historian : Today, it is hard to imagine, that you survived these horrible years, and came back and...

  Heinz F. : Couldn't talk to anybody about it? Yes, I never spoke to anyone about it.

  Self - Historian : Would you have liked to talk to someone?

  Heinz F. : Maybe, maybe with my father.

  [breaks down and cries] 

  Self - Historian : And later, could you speak with others?

  Heinz F. : Never. Nobody wanted to hear about it. If you would just mention one of those words, "Leave me alone with this stuff. It's over now and done with." Now for me too - it's all over. In September, I'll be 93. Thick skin, no?