Big Trouble (2002)

Jack Kehler: Leonard Ferroni

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leonard : If I don't shoot someone soon, I'm gonna forget how.

• Leonard : Look at this thing. He's the size of a Buick.

  Henry Desalvo : She.

  Leonard : She what?

  Henry Desalvo : The mosquito is a she.

  Leonard : How the hell can you tell that?

  Henry Desalvo : Discovery Channel. Only the female mosquito sucks your blood.

  Leonard : Sounds like my ex-wife. Bitch.

• Leonard : [during their second attempt to kill Arthur]  What's happening?

  Henry Desalvo : Well, Moron #1 is tying up the family.

  Leonard : So take the shot.

  Henry Desalvo : I would, but Moron #2 just came back with a couple of Miami's Finest.

  Henry Desalvo : [notices Eliot in the kitchen]  Hold on a second. We have a Die Hard situation developing in the kitchen.

  Leonard : What?

  Henry Desalvo : There's a guy there in the kitchen.

  Leonard : A guy? What's he doing?

  Henry Desalvo : Well, my guess is he's either gonna whack em' with a rolling pin or he's gonna bake em' a cake. I don't know. Could go either way with this crew.

  [sees Eliot grab Matt's water pistol] 

  Henry Desalvo : Holy shit. Betty Crocker's got a squirt gun!

  Leonard : Let me look!

  Henry Desalvo : Forget about it. This is better than pay-per-view.

  [sees Eliot make the water pistol look like a real gun] 

  Henry Desalvo : There goes the warranty, and here comes the Iron Chef.

• [At the airport, Leonard trips and a hunting rifle goes flying out of his golf bag. He and Henry freeze when they see FBI Agents Greer and Seitz, and Officer Romero standing there] 

  Pat Greer : Your jurisdiction.

  [the FBI Agents leave. Monica stares and Henry and Leonard for a few seconds, then picks up the rifle, removes the bolt, and tosses the rifle back to the ground] 

  Monica Romero : Gentlemen.

  [She leaves] 

  Henry Desalvo : ...Well, Miami sucks. But the cops are kind of nice.

  Leonard : Got that right.

• Annoyed Sports Radio Host : I'm looking for one brave Gators fan to call, just one. Oh so Gators fans talk trash all the time but when they play a game and lose nobody has the guts to call in?

  Leonard : What are Gators?

  Henry Desalvo : Football. College.

  Confused Sports Radio Call In : I'm a Gators fan.

  Annoyed Sports Radio Host : And what do you have to say?

  Confused Sports Radio Call In : You said that Gators fans don't have the guts to call in.

  Annoyed Sports Radio Host : Your point?

  Confused Sports Radio Call In : My point is that I'm calling you now.

  Leonard : [notices Snake and Eddie escorting Arthur wearing dark-colored pantyhose on their head]  Is that him?

  Henry Desalvo : I think we got Gator fans.

• [Henry and Leonard are stuck in the middle of a big traffic jam, just right before the Airport Road] 

  Henry Desalvo : We're gonna miss our flight.

  Leonard : You see what the problem is?

  Henry Desalvo : I don't know. There's some kind of commotion up there. There might be something about it on the radio.

• Henry Desalvo : [back at his table]  You go tell your employer it's gonna cost him another 10 G's apiece.

  His Boss : Okay. But we want this finished as soon as possible.

  Henry Desalvo : Well, believe me, we don't want to spend anymore time in this garden spot than we have to.

  Leonard : Got that right.