- Fangora: D'you know our high school reunion's comin' up? Ten years... D'you know how depressing that is? D'you think I don't wanna slash my fucking wrists when I think about that? Goddamn it!
- Fangora: Steven, you drive like my fucking grandma! Wait... that's actually an insult because my grandma drives better than you do!
- Heidi: [entering Steven's room and seeing him in his underwear with his dummy on his lap dressed as a child] Steven... Gross! You look like a child molester!
- Fangora: I bought a gift for you.
- Steven: Oh, no.
- Fangora: Actually, I lifted it from Borders. But it's perfect for your date. It's classical music.
- Steven: Oh, thanks!
- Fangora: Yeah, when you get Lorena alone, put this on. Classical music makes women horny. Just trust me on this one.
- Steven: Thanks. "Best of John Philip Sousa".
- Fangora: Yeah. Chicks dig it.
- Fern: [yelling, after Grandma takes a bread stick] Ma. You know you can't eat solids. Besides, I have a delicious glass of brisket for you.