- Katie: I like not being in a relationship with you, too. But if I ever catch you not doing something with someone else before you don't do it with me, I won't hit you so hard, you won't know what didn't hit you.
- Jack Nagle: So, is there someone else?
- Katie: Actually...yes.
- Jack Nagle: So, what's his name?
- Katie: We can figure that out later.
- Larry Heckman: Hey, look at this: for sale, one prosthetic arm, excellent condition. I'm gonna give them a call and ask if they can give me a hand! Ha ha ha! Oh, wait..."serious enquiries only". Damn.
- Bill Elricht: You know who you remind me of?
- Jack Nagle: Joey Fitone of N Sync?
- Bill Elricht: No, I, I don't see that at all. No, you remind me of a young Bill Elricht. Why, when I was your age, I took ass-kissing so seriously I crawled right up my boss's butt, straight through his intestines and came out the head of the company!
- Jack Nagle: And you didn't let little things like friends and loved ones slow you down?
- Bill Elricht: Hell no. You know what I said to my wife the day she asked me for a divorce?
- Jack Nagle: What?
- Bill Elricht: "Okay." As far as friends go, I've got a ton of people who are nice to me simply because I'm rich, it's effortless!
- Jack Nagle: Your cup runneth over, sir.