A Muppet Family Christmas (1987 TV Movie)

Frank Oz: Fozzie Bear, Animal, Miss Piggy, Bert, Grover, Cookie Monster, Sam the Eagle

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ernie : Oh, hi there. Hey, we're Ernie and Bert.

  Doc : Hi there yourself, I'm Doc.

  Bert : Did you know that Doc starts with the letter "D"?

  Doc : Why, yes.

  Ernie : Yes! Yes starts with the letter "Y".

  Doc : True.

  Ernie : And true starts with the letter "T".

  Doc : [chuckles]  Hey, what is this?

  Bert : Where we come from, this is small talk.

  Doc : Well, whatever you day, nice to be meeting you, but I'd better go up and build some bunk beds.

  Ernie , Bert : Bunk beds!

  Ernie : B words.

  [he and Bert laugh] 

• Snowman : But it's always cold at Christmas.

  Fozzie Bear : Ah, Christmas. Time for Santa Claus and his eight prancing rein-bear.

  Snowman : That's reindeer.

  Fozzie Bear : No, that's SNOW, DARLING!

• Doc : Careful, Sprocket. These may be from some foreign planet.

  Emily 'Ma' Bear : Actually, they're from television. I recognize Fozzie's weirdo friends.

  Dr. Teeth : Yeah, and we're proud of it, too!

  Sam the Eagle : Why am I here?

• Snowman : Hey, Fozzie.

  Fozzie Bear : Yes, Mr. Snowman?

  Snowman : Did you hear about the church that burned down?

  Statler , Waldorf : Holy smoke!

  [they cackle] 

• Kermit : Don't you think we should've called your mother and let her know we were coming?

  Fozzie Bear : Oh, how little you understand bears, Kermit. My mother loves surprises.

  Gonzo : Well, good, 'cause she's in for a beauty.

• Kermit : Where is your partner?

  Fozzie Bear : Outside.

  Kermit : Outside? Fozzie, it's too cold to go outside.

  Fozzie Bear : It's not cold.

  Kermit : It *is* cold!

  Fozzie Bear : It's not cold.

  Snowman : [entering the house]  Can I come in and warm up?

  Fozzie Bear : Okay, so it's cold.

• Doc : You promised me a nice, quiet Christmas!

  Animal : Peace on Earth! Give me presents!

• Bert : Ernie, why must you always humiliate me?

  Ernie : C'mon, Bert. Somebody has to play Mama, and you lost the toss.

  Bert : Oh, well, just get it over with.

• Fozzie Bear : Kermit, now can I tell you about my new act?

  Kermit : I'm all ears.

  [hears Sprocket barking] 

  Kermit : Now what can that be?

  Fozzie Bear : What does he mean he's all ears? Frogs don't even have ears!

• Maureen the Mink : Hi, I'm Maureen the Mink.

  Miss Piggy : What?

  Kermit : She said, "Hi, I'm Maureen the Mink."

  Miss Piggy : I HEARD HER! I HEARD HER!

• Emily 'Ma' Bear : I'm afraid we're running out of room. Two of you will have to sleep on hangers on a hook on the wall.

  Gonzo : What a fabulous idea!

  Animal : Love hanger! Love hanger!

  [laughs] 

  Floyd : That's the only way Animal ever sleeps, ma'am.

• Fozzie Bear : See, Mom? I told you it'd be easy!

  Emily 'Ma' Bear : They're weirdos, Fozzie.

  Fozzie Bear : Yeah?

  Emily 'Ma' Bear : But, they're nice weirdos.

  Fozzie Bear : Yeah.

  [chuckles quietly] 

• Janice : [bringing out a basket of Christmas cookies]  Hey, everybody, look what I've got: Christmas cookies!

  Cookie Monster : COOKIE!

  [gobbles up the whole basket, as Animal watches in amazement] 

  Cookie Monster : [going]  Oh, thank you!

  Janice : Who was that strange blue creature?

  Animal : Dat my kinda fella! Ahahahahaha!

• Emily 'Ma' Bear : There. Fozzie's stocking is hung by the mantle so Santa will bring him a present.

  Fozzie Bear : Aw, Ma, this is embarrassing. I mean, I'm not a cub anymore, I'm a grown bear.

  Emily 'Ma' Bear : Oh. Well, I'll take it down.

  Fozzie Bear : Oh, no, I didn't say that.

• Robin : Speaking of presents, Grover, I'd like *you* to have this Fraggle pebble.

  [gives the Fraggle pebble to Grover] 

  Grover : [gasps in astonishment as he accepts the pebble]  This Fraggle pebble here is for *me*? Oh, I just love Christmas! Ah-ha!

• Sam the Eagle : [upon seeing the Two-Headed Monster playing Santa in the pageant]  Is nothing sacred?

• Ernie : 'Twas the night before Christmas / And all through the house / Not a creature was stirring, / Not even a mouse. Cue the mouse!

  Grover : [dressed as a mouse, holding a mixing bowl with a spoon]  I am here! I'm here! Cutest little mouse is here!

  Bert : What's the bowl for?

  Grover : Oh. Uh, so you can see that I am not stirring. Note how the hand never touches the spoon.

• [the telephone rings] 

  Animal : Telephone! Telephone!

  [picks up phone] 

  Animal : Hello? Hello? Gimme presents!

  Miss Piggy : Joyeaux Noël, Kermie!

  Animal : Oh. Pig.

  [gives phone to Kermit] 

• Fozzie Bear : Wow, that's pretty good harmony for a snowman!

  Snowman : Actually, I'm a "snooman".

  Fozzie Bear : What's a "snooman"?

  Snowman : Nothing's "a-snoo," man! What's "snoo" with you?

• Maureen the Mink : Oh, Miss Piggy, I've seen everything you've done, I'm your biggest fan! I worship the ground you work on.

  Miss Piggy : Oh, what a wonderful present!

  Maureen the Mink : Hee hee.

• Miss Piggy's Photographer : Oh, oh, now do that pouty thing?

  Miss Piggy : Oh, yes.

  Miss Piggy's Photographer : That pouty thing, ooh! Oh, fabulous!

• Fozzie Bear : Guys, this is the best idea we've had in years. Christmas at my mother's farm.

  Kermit : That was great, Fozzie, but don't you think we should've called your mother to let her know we were coming?

  Fozzie Bear : Oh, how little you understand bears, Kermit. My mother loves surprises.

  Gonzo : Good thing. She's in for beauty.

  Animal : SURPRISE! SURPRISE!