A Muppet Family Christmas (1987 TV Movie)

Steve Whitmire: Turkey, Rizzo the Rat, Wembley Fraggle, Sprocket the Dog, Lips

Photos 

Quotes 

• Doc : There's one worried frog.

  Count : Ah, that's ONE! One worried frog!

  Robin : No, he's not the only one.

  Count : That's TWO! Two worried frogs! Ha ha ha ha!

  [thunder and lightning] 

  Sprocket the Dog : Rrrr?

  Doc : Search me. More "small talk" I think.

• Gonzo : [talking to the Turkey on the porch]  Listen, you're in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now take a walk, fly south for the winter, anything!

  Turkey : I was in-*vited* for Christmas by some guy who spoke Swedish!

  Gonzo : [mumbling]  Oh, brother.

  Turkey : He had a white chef's hat on; sounds like a nice vacation.

  Gonzo : [nodding]  Mm-hm, mm-hm, listen, that guy *is* a chef. Don't you realize it could be *very* dangerous place for turkeys around here?

  Turkey : Not to worry, I'm a survivor. Now where's my room?

  Gonzo : If you're not careful, it'll be in the oven.

  Turkey : So long, bucko.

  [panting as he heads back inside] 

  Gonzo : See you at dinner.

• Gonzo : Camila's MY girlfriend!

  Turkey : You've gotta be kiddin'. You're not even a bird!

  Gonzo : Well, nobody's perfect.

• Sprocket the Dog : Ruff ruff ruff! Ruff ruff ruff! Ruff ruff ruff!

  Rowlf : Woof woof! Yeah! Bark bark!

  Doc : Don't you hate it when you can't speak the language?

• Gonzo : C'mon, put up your wings, Turkey Toes!

  Turkey : Why're you pulling my leg, Hose Nose?

• Doc : [as the Swedish Chef taps Sprocket with a spiked wooden server between the spokes of a dinner chair]  This is my dog, Sprocket; he is not a Christmas turkey!

  Swedish Chef : Dër schmëcka gøbblä gøbblä fëffernøøse!

  Doc : I don't care if the turkey said the dog is a turkey. The dog is not the turkey; the turkey's the turkey, you turkey! Come on, Sprocket.

  [he takes the chair away as Sprocket barks] 

  Swedish Chef : Schmëcka gøbblä gøbblä gërfëy wërfëy.

  Turkey : [chuckles]  This is startin' to be fun, hee-hee-hee.

  [seeing Camila] 

  Turkey : Whoa, speaking of fun, hey mum, how you doin'?

• Oscar the Grouch : I'll be nicely miserable in my trash can here.

  Rizzo the Rat : Hey, maybe I can bunk out here with you.

  Oscar the Grouch : Huh, I never had a rat in my trash can before, that might be nice.

• Turkey : Hey, hey, hey, no, no, you got me wrong, I'm a dairy cow.

  [moos] 

  Swedish Chef : [repeatedly swatting the Turkey with celery]  Nø, nø, nø, dø dïs før më!

  Turkey : All right, okay, I'm a-AAH! I'm a birdie, I'm a birdie, I'm a seagull, right?

  Turkey : [continues swatting the Turkey with celery]  Nø, nø, nø, gøbblër-gøbblër!

  Turkey : Okay, all right, I admit it, I admit it; the jig is up!

  [the Chef stops hitting the Turkey] 

  Turkey : Here I am, the Christmas Turkey.

  Swedish Chef : Ë tøäks ä snïr!

  [swats the Turkey more with celery] 

  Turkey : Ow! Hey, watch it there, will ya?

  [the chef measures the turkey] 

  Turkey : Oh, I recognize it now. This is, thi--this is the traditional fitting, right, to see of the roasting pan is big enough for the nice fat *bird*?

  Swedish Chef : Yä yä yä. Gøbblë gøbblë tørkëy fïskëy wïskëy!

  Turkey : Of course, uh, before we go any further, uh, there is one thing, though, I think you should see.

  Turkey : Yöu mëan knïcksnä gøbblä gøbblä schnëërs?

  Turkey : If you think I'm a nice fat bird, LOOK AT THIS!

  [the Turkey opens the kitchen door to reveal Big Bird visiting with the other Muppets in the living room as castle thunder goes off] 

  Swedish Chef : Øhh, yüh!

  [tosses the pan away] 

  Swedish Chef : Dät's ä gøbblä gøbblä hümøngø!

  Turkey : Ain't it the truth?

  [snickers]