Duplex (2003)

Danny DeVito: Narrator

Quotes 

• [Opening line] 

  Narrator : So, you're finally settling down. You've saved up a little nest egg and are ready to dive into the real estate market. Let's do a little shopping around. The American dream home. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, one doghouse, one garage, two garbage cans. It's cozy, safe, and just barely within your overstretched budget. Not for you? For the same price, you can buy acres of prime Sahara wasteland. Put up a cottage. Nothing but you and the sky. It's like a beach without the ocean. And talk about quiet neighbors. Too remote? Oh, I understand. You need the thrill and excitement of the big city. With that same nest egg, you can get a slice of prime real estate. Not this real estate. Cozy and affordable, this lovely fixer-upper is the perfect place for a dynamic couple like you. No need to putter around the house. It's all right there where you stand. What's the matter? Feeling a little cramped? Well, just a stone's throw away, just one bridge or a tunnel ride, just outside the big, bustling city, there is a place with wide-open spaces, friendly natives, and spacious dwellings. And it's all within your price range. It's almost too good to be true.