Blah blah spoilers blah blah Muppet hides blah blah boobs blah blah warning.
Tarkan may have gotten top billing, but Kurt is the real action hero here. When his father is killed by a cheesy fake Viking with a loincloth made out of a skinned Muppet and a mustache made of shag carpeting, Kurt sees to the wounds of his human companion, Tarkan, nursing him back to health. Tarkan mainly serves to get doors open and get Kurt to where he needs to be. It's Kurt who climbs the vertical rock wall out of the pit, Kurt who saves Tarkan from the inflatable octopus monster, and Kurt who fingers the villain. "MY name is Kurt Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!"
Yeah, there's plenty of battles with floppy cardboard swords, and a longship shaped like a bathtub with an obvious outboard motor actually driving it. There's Captain Morgan posturing, and attack falcons, and a friendly giant who only grunts (Hodor!). They must have skinned the entire cast of the Muppet Show for the costuming. Tarkan himself gets captured and wounded more often than he manages to rescue anybody, but you have to admire his willingness to overcome arrow wounds, stab wounds, and drugs, and keep getting back up to fight on. But though Tarkan has the cape, no really, Kurt is the superhero. Go Kurt! Cry at your father's funeral! Whine jealously when Tarkan throws you out of his bed to make room for the Chinese woman! Leap off the castle into the sea to attack the inflatable octopus! By Grabthar's hammer, your father will be avenged!
Rated Z, with enough women prancing around mostly naked in weird bits of costume to make Lair of the White Worm look tame. And I do mean prancing - wait till you see the Viking women go bouncing into battle.
Tarkan may have gotten top billing, but Kurt is the real action hero here. When his father is killed by a cheesy fake Viking with a loincloth made out of a skinned Muppet and a mustache made of shag carpeting, Kurt sees to the wounds of his human companion, Tarkan, nursing him back to health. Tarkan mainly serves to get doors open and get Kurt to where he needs to be. It's Kurt who climbs the vertical rock wall out of the pit, Kurt who saves Tarkan from the inflatable octopus monster, and Kurt who fingers the villain. "MY name is Kurt Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!"
Yeah, there's plenty of battles with floppy cardboard swords, and a longship shaped like a bathtub with an obvious outboard motor actually driving it. There's Captain Morgan posturing, and attack falcons, and a friendly giant who only grunts (Hodor!). They must have skinned the entire cast of the Muppet Show for the costuming. Tarkan himself gets captured and wounded more often than he manages to rescue anybody, but you have to admire his willingness to overcome arrow wounds, stab wounds, and drugs, and keep getting back up to fight on. But though Tarkan has the cape, no really, Kurt is the superhero. Go Kurt! Cry at your father's funeral! Whine jealously when Tarkan throws you out of his bed to make room for the Chinese woman! Leap off the castle into the sea to attack the inflatable octopus! By Grabthar's hammer, your father will be avenged!
Rated Z, with enough women prancing around mostly naked in weird bits of costume to make Lair of the White Worm look tame. And I do mean prancing - wait till you see the Viking women go bouncing into battle.