Kenneth Branagh: Gilderoy Lockhart
Photos
Quotes
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Gilderoy Lockhart : [they find the Basilisk skin] What's this?
Gilderoy Lockhart : It looks like a... snake.
Harry : It's a snake *skin*.
Ron : Bloody hell. Whatever shed this must be 60 feet long, or *more*.
Ron : [Lockhart passes out]
[to Harry, sarcastically]
Ron : Heart of a lion, this one.
Gilderoy Lockhart : [to Harry and Ron after grabbing Ron's wand] The adventure ends here, boys. But don't fret. The world will know our story. How I was too late to save the girl. How you two tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body.
[points wand to Harry]
Gilderoy Lockhart : So... you first, Mr. Potter. Say goodbye to your memories. Obliviate!
[he gets pulled backwards and thrown hit into a rock wall knocking him out which causes loose rocks to fall and block the path between Ron and Harry]
Ron : Harry!
Harry : Ron! Are you okay?
Ron : I'm fine.
Gilderoy Lockhart : Hello. Who are you?
Ron : Um... Ron Weasley.
Gilderoy Lockhart : Really! And, uh, wh-who am I?
Ron : [to Harry] Lockhart's memory charm backfired! He hasn't got a clue who he is!
Gilderoy Lockhart : [he picks up a rock] It's an odd sort of place, this, isn't it? Do you live here?
Ron : No.
Gilderoy Lockhart : Really?
[Ron knocks Lockhart unconscious with the rock]
Ron : [to Harry who's on the other side of the rockslide] What do I do now?
Harry : You wait here and try and shift some of this rock so we can get back through. I'll go on and find Ginny.
Ron : Okay.
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[after using a spell to mend Harry's broken arm, Lockhart inadvertently removes all the bones in it]
Gilderoy Lockhart : Ah... yes, well, that can sometimes happen. Um, but, uh, the point is, uh, you can no longer feel any pain. And, very clearly, the bones are not broken.
Hagrid : Broken? There's no bones left!
Gilderoy Lockhart : Much more flexible, though.
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Gilderoy Lockhart : Let's have a volunteer pair. Potter, Weasley, how about you?
Professor Snape : Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox.
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[after the attack on Mrs. Norris]
Professor Snape : If I might, Headmaster. Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don't recall seeing Potter at dinner.
Gilderoy Lockhart : I'm afraid that's my doing, Severus. You see, Harry was helping me answer my fan mail.
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Gilderoy Lockhart : [whilst flying out of the Chamber of Secrets with Fawkes, Harry, Ron, and Ginny] AMAZING! This is just like magic!
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Gilderoy Lockhart : Harry, Harry, Harry. Can you possibly imagine a better way to serve detention, than by helping me to answer my fan mail?
Harry : Not really.
Gilderoy Lockhart : Fame is a fickle friend Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that.
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Gilderoy Lockhart : Spooky how the time flies when one's having fun.
Harry : ...Spooky...
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Gilderoy Lockhart : [Echoing from the bottom of the entrance shaft] It's really quite filthy down here!
Harry : [Preparing to follow Lockhart] Here we go.
Moaning Myrtle : Oh Harry - if you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet!
[Quick shot of Ron looking pained before cutting to Harry]
Harry : Uh, thanks, Myrtle.
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Gilderoy Lockhart : [Looking down the pipe leading to the Chamber of Secrets] Excellent, Harry. Haa! Good work! Well then, I'll just be, ah...
[turns and tries to leave]
Gilderoy Lockhart : there's no need for me to stay!
Harry : [Pushing Lockhart back with Ron's help] Yes there is!
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Gilderoy Lockhart : [to class] I must ask you not to scream, it might REMOTE THEM!
[pulls cloth off of cage, which reveals pixies]
Seamus Finnigan : Cornish pixies?
Gilderoy Lockhart : [Draco Malfoy and Crabbe snigger] Freshly caught Cornish pixies.
[more people chuckle]
Gilderoy Lockhart : Laugh after you, Mr. Finnigan. The pixies can be devilishly tricky little things. See what you make of them.
[releases pixies, which attack students]
Gilderoy Lockhart : Round them up! Round them up! Round up the pixies
[pixies ruin Lockhart's books and two of them lift Neville by the ear and drop him on the light on the ceiling]
Neville Longbottom : Hey, get me down!
Hermione : Get off me!
Harry : No, stop, hold still!
[hits pixie with book]
Gilderoy Lockhart : Peskipiksi Pesternomi!
[pixie grabs Lockhart's wand and cuts off chain of dinosaur skeleton, which falls]
Gilderoy Lockhart : [to Harry, Ron, and Hermione] I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into your case.
[runs away]
Ron : What do we do now?
Hermione : [takes out wand] Immobulus!
[freezes pixies]
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[after Lockhart reveals his ineptness at fighting the Dark Arts]
Ron : Is there anything you CAN do?
Gilderoy Lockhart : Yes, now you mention it. I'm rather gifted with Memory Charms. Otherwise, you see, all those wizards would have gone blabbing. And I'd never have sold another book.
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Gilderoy Lockhart : Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all up, in case you ever need to defend yourselves, as I myself have done on countless occasions. For full details, see my published works.
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Gilderoy Lockhart : Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher... me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that; I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him.
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Harry : You're running away? After all that stuff you did in your books?
Gilderoy Lockhart : Books can be misleading...
Harry : You wrote them!
Gilderoy Lockhart : My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think *I'd* done all those things!
Harry : You're a fraud! You've just been taking credit for what other wizards have done.
Ron : Is there anything you *can* do?
Gilderoy Lockhart : Yes. Now that you mention it, I'm rather gifted with memory charms. Otherwise, you see, all those wizards would have gone blabbing, and I'd never have sold another book
[grabs his wand]
Gilderoy Lockhart : . In fact, I'm going to have to do the same to you.
[Harry and Ron point their wands at him]
Harry : Don't even think about it.
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Harry : [hearing the Basilisk] What?
Gilderoy Lockhart : Sorry?
Harry : That voice.
Gilderoy Lockhart : Voice?
Harry : Didn't you hear it?
Gilderoy Lockhart : What are you talking about, Harry?
