xXx (2002)

Vin Diesel: Xander Cage

Photos 

26 more photos

Quotes 

• Xander Cage : You have a bazooka! Dude, stop thinking Prague Police and start thinking Playstation. Blow shit up!

  Ivan Podrov : Is not bazooka. It's heat-seeker, right?

  Xander Cage : Heat-seeker...

  Xander Cage : [picks up heat-seeker rocket]  Set it!

  [Ivan activates heat-seeker] 

  Xander Cage : The son of a bitch is smoking.

  [fires rocket, kills Kirill] 

  Xander Cage : I told him that cigarette was gonna kill him one day.

• Xander Cage : The things I'm gonna do for my country.

• Gibbons : You ever watch lions at the zoo? You can always tell which ones were captured in the wild by the look in their eyes. The wild cat. She remembers running across the plain, the thrill of the hunt. Four hundred pounds of killing fury, locked in a box. But after a while, their eyes start to glaze over, and you can tell their soul has died. The same thing happens to a man. Leavenworth Federal Penetentiary is no joke. They'll take a wild man like you and throw him in solitary just for the fun of it. No more mountains to board, no more oceans to surf. Just a 6-by-8 cell with no window and only a bucket to shit in. You can avoid all of that by doing me this small favor.

  Xander Cage : You don't have shit on me.

  Gibbons : I noticed you have three X's tattooed on the back of your neck. I think that's rather appropriate, since you're looking at three strikes. Grand theft auto, reckless endangerment, and that little bridge stunt of yours makes you a three-time loser. Maybe you ought to call yourself "Triple X." But if you do what I want, I'll make all your little recent criminal transgressions go away and let you get back to that pathetic excuse of a life.

• Yorgi : There is an old punk song, it says America stands for freedom...

  Xander Cage : But if you think you're free try walking into a deli...

  Yorgi , Xander Cage : And urinating on the cheese!

• Xander Cage : What is this place?

  Gibbons : Looks like a diner.

  Xander Cage : That's clever. You know, you almost had me going there for a while. I was a bit groggy before, then I started noticing things. Like, you got a stockbroker over here, all dressed up reading the Financial Times on a Sunday morning when the market's closed. Unlikely, but okay, I can go with that. I can even go with the stick-up man packing a cop-issue Beretta. But you want to know where you blew it?

  [points at waitress] 

  Xander Cage : With her. My aunt was in the restaurant business all her life. There's no way in hell a career waitress comes to work in high heels. She'd have blisters the size of pancakes before lunch. And if she ain't real, then this whole thing ain't real. That's how I knew this bozo over here wouldn't get a shot off even if we waited till St. Patrick's Day.

  [fires shotgun at wall] 

  Xander Cage : Because there's nothing but blanks in these guns. Oh, and no offense, but their performances were terrible.

• Yelena : I've been undercover here for two years.

  Xander Cage : Two years? What was your plan? To let them die of old age?

  Yelena : There was no plan. A year and a half ago, Intelligence gets reorganized, and I stop getting orders. They forget about me. And I did what I must to survive. You understand?

  Xander Cage : What do I understand? I've been an agent for a week.

• Toby Lee Shavers : How long have you been with the agency?

  Xander Cage : Two days.

  Toby Lee Shavers : You're shitting me. No way. Man, that sucks.

  Xander Cage : Yeah, it sucks, but it beats jail.

  Toby Lee Shavers : No, it sucks because I spent six years in the basement of some windowless, NSA, gadget freak room, man. And I got a degree. I got a degree from MIT. Phi Beta Kappa, magna cum laude. And I bet they probably picked you up, what, pumping iron in San Quentin?

  Xander Cage : You ever get punched in the face for talking too much?

• Milan Sova : First you set me up in the bar. Then you shoot me in the back.

  Xander Cage : My boss does it to me. I did it to you. It's a vicious circle.

• Xander Cage : Look who it is. Frankenstein. Uncuff me so I can beat the shit out of you.

  Gibbons : Relax, X, you just graduated at the head of your class.

• Xander Cage : I've been risking my life for a lot of stupid reasons. This is the first one that makes sense to me.

• Yelena : Xander? Remember what I told you before, when you kissed me?

  Xander Cage : Never again?

  Yelena : I lied.

• Xander Cage : Yo. What's your name, slick?

  Ivan Podrov : My name is Ivan.

  Xander Cage : Ivan? What's your name, buddy?

  Ivan Pedgrag : [looks back at Xander]  My name is Ivan.

  Xander Cage : [looking confused]  You're both Ivan?

• Xander Cage : I live for this shit.

• El Jefe : Okay, funny guys. I'll show you what we do when funny guys get in our business.

  Xander Cage : What? Hog-tie us and force us to listen to your bad accent?

  El Jefe : No. Cut off their Achilles tendon and watch them flop around like a marionette. Unless you have something to tell me, something I need to know? Huh?

  Xander Cage : Uh, okay. You're short.

  [TJ and Virg start to laugh] 

  Xander Cage : And my friend over there says you could use a haircut to update your style. Get off me.

  El Jefe : [kicks Virg]  Shut up!

  Xander Cage : Just two seconds ago, you told us to talk. Now it's "Shut up?" I mean, I don't mean to nit-pick, but you're the worst at this torture thing.

• Xander Cage : [after the party is raided, presumably by NSA]  Okay, Okay, I'll turn down the music.

• Toby Lee Shavers : Ah. Knocked over a few 7-Elevens, have we?

  Xander Cage : No, I had my leg in a cast for about three months. All I did was play first-person shooter video games.

  Toby Lee Shavers : That's a really sad story.

• [referring to Senator Dick] 

  Xander Cage : He also wants video games banned because he believes that they're destroying education... come on Dick, it's the only education we got.

• Xander Cage : Koyla, Yorgi's younger brother, happens to be an action sports fanatic. So naturally, he's a fan. But, when you kill a bottle of Vodka in three swigs, and you're gonna talk too much.

• [before entering Yorgi's club] 

  Milan Sova : Everyone in this club's got two things in common; they're filthy rich and they're criminals.

  Xander Cage : I'll fit in perfect, except for the filthy rich part.

• Xander Cage : [after El Jefe slaps Xander across the face]  You slap me again, I'm going to throw you a beating.

  [El Jefe slaps him again] 

  Xander Cage : Boy, I hope they're paying you extra for this.

  El Jefe : [points machete in his face]  You know what, funny guy? Maybe I'll cut off your nose first, huh? Funny guy.

  Xander Cage : What's funny is, this actually smells like real blood.

  El Jefe : I hope you like it, because it's the last thing you're going to smell.

• Toby Lee Shavers : [showing Xander the darts to the revolver]  Datura knockout darts. POW! Guy goes down for 12 hours, wakes up, doesn't know who the hell he is, and his head's splitting like a cord of firewood.

  [starts laughing] 

  Xander Cage : I was shot twice with those.

• Gibbons : I want you to meet some people and find out whatever you can about them.

  Xander Cage : What kind of people?

  Gibbons : Dirty. Dangerous. Tattooed. Uncivilized. Your kind of people.

• Gibbons : I gave you an order!

  Xander Cage : And I followed that order. You said, 'Go home, Triple X.' That means stay, doesn't it?

• Xander Cage : You're in the Xander Zone.

• [after snowboarding down an avalanche] 

  Xander Cage : Nothing like fresh powder.

• Xander Cage : I like anything fast enough to do something stupid in.

• Yelena : Do you know what a wire transfer is?

  Xander Cage : Is she for real. Sweetheart is there anything else you need to do, let us big boys have a conversation.

  Yelena : Conversation. A word with four syllables. Do you want some ice before your brain overheats.

  Xander Cage : Ice. Yeah, you could chisel some off your heart, if you could find it.

• J.J. : So you need to go to Pago Pago or something. Get a couple of girls, do them all. I don't care. Go on vacation.

  Xander Cage : It's Bora Bora, J.

• Xander Cage : My kind of people would say, "Kiss my ass, Scarface."

• Xander Cage : [after getting shot with a dart]  It was only a Corvette!

• Xander Cage : [referring to marines in full camo]  Here comes the ROTC!

• Xander Cage : [after Yelena shoots Milan Sova and walks in with the Ivans]  You wanna tell me what you're doing with the Ivan's?

• Toby Lee Shavers : [showing Xander the binoculars]  Eagle Eyes. Nine enhanced-vision modes. Every little boy's dream: the penetrator mode. Check it out.

  [points at a woman] 

  Xander Cage : [looks through the binoculars, sees under the woman's clothes]  Oh, my God.

  Toby Lee Shavers : She's checking you out.

  Xander Cage : I gotta hang onto these.

• Yelena : I want immunity from prosecution, asylum in the U.S., and citizenship.

  Xander Cage : How bout a condo in South Beach and a rich boyfriend?

  Yelena : Those I can get for myself.

• [Xander Cage drives a stolen Corvette, which belongs to senator Dick Hotchkiss, and is chased by the police] 

  Police Officer : You, in the red Corvette! Pull over immediately.

  Xander Cage : Yeah, yeah. These monkeys are following me because I just took this car. Obviously the car doesn't belong to me, it's not my style. It belongs to Dick. Dick Hotchkiss, a California state senator. You remember Dick? He's the guy who tried to ban rap music because he feels that the lyrics promote violence. It's music, Dick! He's also the guy who wants to pull every video game off every shop in the country, because he feels that the video games diminishing intelligence of our youth. Oh, come on, Dick. It's only education we got. Dick, you're a bad man. You know what we do to bad men. We punish them. Dick, you've just entered The Xander Zone.

  [on the walkie talkie] 

  Xander Cage : Okay, I'm coming in hot with a side of bacon.

  Hillside Video Shooter : Go. Go, go, go, go!

  [Xander jumps with the Corvette off the bridge] 

  Van Video Shooter : Pull it! Pull it!

  [Xander jumps out of the Corvette with a parachute] 

  Van Video Shooter : Yes!

  [the Corvette falls on the surface and explodes while the three guys in a Cadillac arrive to pick up Xander and the equipment] 

  Caddy Driver : Go get the cameras. Go, go, go.

  Xander Cage : Moral of the story is, don't be a dick, Dick.

• Xander Cage : You're okay, Yorgi

  Yorgi : Everything's okay... with enough vodka.

• Xander Cage : I wish I had a video camera.

  Yelena : What are you talking about?

  Xander Cage : 'Cause this is gonna be one hell of a trick.

• Xander Cage : [to Yorgi]  Yeah. Cars, boards, bikes. I like anything fast enough to do something stupid in.

• Xander Cage : Is this guy gonna hump my leg or what?

• Xander Cage : Welcome to the Xander Zone.

• Xander Cage : WHOO! Not bad!

  [pause] 

  Xander Cage : Lets do that again!

• Xander Cage : [wakes up in cargo plane]  You guys haven't been to any diners lately, huh?

  Virg : Diner finalists.

• Milan Sova : My name is Milan Sova, Czech Secret Police. When you are here, you are under my jurisdiction. You take my orders, you do what I say. And if you become any kind of an inconvenience, I'll shoot you.

  Xander Cage : That's great, is this were I'm staying?

  Milan Sova : You are here because your government is putting pressure on my government. This is an internal affair, a Czech affair that you are interfering with. I will warning you once, don't shit in my lawn. Get whatever information your government seeks, and get out.

  Xander Cage : Let's get this straight. You may not want me here, but I definitely don't want to be here. Two, I've never been under anyone's jurisdiction, and three, if you're gonna shoot anybody, shoot the monkey that sold you this suit.

• Xander Cage : Ya know, if you're gonna send someone to save the world, make sure they like it the way it is.

• Xander Cage : I bet that flag is a real comfort every time you look in the mirror.

  Gibbons : A small price I paid for putting foot to ass for my country.

• [after kissing Xander Cage] 

  Yelena : Did you enjoy that?

  Xander Cage : Yes.

  Yelena : Good, because it will never happen again.

• [after a police SWAT team crashes in on his party] 

  Xander Cage : Okay, I'll turn down the music.

• [to Yelena] 

  Xander Cage : I might throw in a few extra dollars and send you to charm school.

• Xander Cage : Shaken... and stirred.

• Yelena : [photographing Yorgi's safe]  You're not supposed to be in here.

  Xander Cage : I was on the way to the bathroom. What's your excuse?

  Yelena : [pulls a gun on him]  I don't need an excuse.

  Xander Cage : [grabs her arm with the gun and she pulls out a second gun]  You're good.

  [gets her other arm, making her defenseless] 

  Xander Cage : But not that good.

• Xander Cage : See that guy there? In the suit made out of motel drapes? That's a cop.

• [last lines] 

  Gibbons : Oh by the way, you passed the test. The Gibbons Test.

  Xander Cage : You gotta be kidding me.

• Xander Cage : Been in any diners lately?

• Yelena : Yorgi knows you're an agent. Kirill is waiting out front with his rifle.

  Xander Cage : [turning to look]  Where?

  Yelena : Don't look. There's a back door.

  Xander Cage : Yeah, but if I go out the back, they'll know you warned me.

  Yelena : If you go out the front, he'll put a bullet in your eye.

  Xander Cage : [looking around the room and getting an idea]  You still packing?

  Yelena : Always.

  Xander Cage : Get ready to use it.

  Yelena : What's your plan?

  Xander Cage : He's still in love with you, right?

  Yelena : Yeah.

  Xander Cage : Well, he's not gonna fire 'til he's got a clear shot.

  Yelena : That's your plan?

• Milan Sova : Did you think you could just walk into the spy business one day and have all the angles figured out?

  Xander Cage : So what are you gonna do, shoot me?

  Milan Sova : Uh-huh. Where do you want it? In the head, to be quick? Or in the chest for an open casket, so I can see your heart?

  Xander Cage : Can I think about it?

  [bullets rip through the door, killing Sova] 

  Xander Cage : [seeing Yelena come in]  What the hell are you doing?

  Yelena : I heard you talking. I could tell where you were in the room.

• Xander Cage : So you don't like foreigners, do you?

  Yelena : No, you're a pig.

  Xander Cage : What about your boyfriend? Is he a pig, too?

  Yelena : You tell me. You should recognize one of your kind. Now, tell me about the cop.

  Xander Cage : What would you say if I told you I'm not who you think I am? That I could get you out of the mess that you're in?

  Yelena : Really? And what mess am I in?

  Xander Cage : The mess that makes you sneak around the castle when everyone's asleep. That mess. The cop?

  [showing her one of Shavers' tranq darts] 

  Xander Cage : See this? It's called a blood-splatter dart. The impact's real, but it's harmless. Red paint, mostly.

  Yelena : Why?

  Xander Cage : I'm a secret agent.

  Yelena : [laughing]  Oh.

  Xander Cage : [she continues to laugh]  Are you sure you don't want to embarrass me?

  Yelena : Oh, come on.

  Xander Cage : What's so funny about that?

  Yelena : I mean, look at you.

  Xander Cage : I work for the NSA.

  Yelena : Oh, you're funny, you know that?

• Yelena : What do you want from me?

  Xander Cage : I need to know more about Anarchy 99.

  Yelena : You want to know about Anarchy 99?

  Xander Cage : Yeah.

  Yelena : Well, you've seen the girls, the clubs, the parties.

  Xander Cage : Mm-hmm.

  Yelena : What you don't see is what goes on during the day. There's been a lot of activity in the last year. People coming in and out. Russian scientists.

  Xander Cage : Well, what are they up to?

  Yelena : I don't know. They go in the basement, and I'm not allowed in.

  Xander Cage : Now's a good time for you to get invited.

• Xander Cage : Gibbons. My favorite kidnapper. Next time, send a limo.

  Gibbons : [gesturing to an opera singer performing on stage]  Shh.

  Xander Cage : Oh, you've got to be kidding me. You already broke me. You don't need to get cruel and unusual.

  [Gibbons hands him something] 

  Xander Cage : A ticket? Now, that's funny. Okay, where am I gonna go now?

  Gibbons : Home.

  Xander Cage : Home?

  Gibbons : Your cover's been blown. You're no longer useful.

  Xander Cage : That's it? I'm done?

  Gibbons : No tricks. We have enough intel to move forward.

  Xander Cage : With what?

  Gibbons : Sweeper team. Quick, clean, effective. Don't worry yourself about it, X. It'll all be over soon.

  Xander Cage : You mean like a sweeper team to come in and kill everybody? You know, not all of them are as bad as you think.

  Gibbons : You had to shoot a cop to get in. How "not as bad as I think" could they be?

  Xander Cage : Okay, look. We've got a complication. There's a girl. Yelena.

  Gibbons : There's always a girl.

  Xander Cage : Yeah, well, she wants out, and I sent her back in to get more intel for you.

  Gibbons : There's no time to play favorites, Xander. The cards have been dealt.

  Gibbons : What do you mean the cards have been dealt? You don't even know her, man.