- Paula Poundstone: I'm not keeping canned goods in my apartment for an earthquake! If I get trapped beneath a beam for three days I'm gonna at least lose weight. I don't want them finding me miraculously after three days and saying "Well, Christ, she's huge"..."I was able to get to some beans, thank God."
- Paula Poundstone: The other day I was in a traffic jam, I was a mile back myself, and some guy pulls up behind me and leans on his horn. Like everyone else just forgot to move. I was expecting to see headlines the next day "AWARE CITIZEN ALERTS MANY."
- Paula Poundstone: Sweetums, the head-wacker is coming up behind us! She's wacking her own head, there's no telling what she'll do to us!
- Paula Poundstone: [on Daryl Hannah] Does she have to move and talk like that? Because I think those are the two problem areas for her would be the moving and the talking. Without, she's golden.