Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie (2002)

Phil Vischer: Jonah, Mr. Lunt, Bob the Tomato, Phillipe Pea, Percy Pea, Nezzer, Pa Grape, Cockney Pea #2, King Twistomer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jonah : We're going to be digested! Do you know what that means?

  Khalil : Of course! Digestion runs very deep in my family.

• Phillipe Pea : [seeing porcupine needle in Bob's back]  Would you prefer poking or non-poking?

  Bob the Tomato : [sarcastic laugh]  Non.

• Jonah : I am not going to Ninevah!

• Khalil : Now you are sad, my friend. Something about Ninevah makes you sad?

  Jonah : Oh, I don't want to talk about it.

  Khalil : Oh, you do not have to tell me. Because I already know.

  Jonah : You do?

  Khalil : Oh, yes. There is a woman in Ninevah, is there not? A beautiful young asparagus? She is waiting for you, but your job is in the way. Her father is the head of an international band of camel thieves. Today you sail out to Tarshish to deliver a message to the camel thieves, but in the process will break the heart of the woman you love!

  [pause] 

  Khalil : Insight runs very deep in my family.

• Mr. Nezzer : Are you guys still doing that "pirate" thing?

  Mr. Lunt : Argh! Watch your tongue, matey! Or we'll... what'll we do?

  Larry : Nothing. We're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.

  Mr. Lunt : Oh. Argh! You got off easy today!

• Mr. Lunt : Remember that time we did that one thing with that one guy?

  Pa Grape : Oh, do I ever.

  Larry : I remember it like it was yesterday.

• Jonah : I bring you a Message From the Lord

  Crowd : [Gasps] 

  Jonah : Oh, it's a message of encouragement.

  Crowd : Oh.

• [outtake; Jonah is trying to sleep but is interrupted by the Self Help Tape] 

  Self-Help Tape Voice : You are so vain. I bet you think this movie's about you. Don't you. Don't you.

  Jonah : Ah, good one, boys...

• Pirate Pa : [about storm, to everyone]  The way I see it, someone up there is really upset with someone down here. It could be any one of us! I have my suspicions! But we won't know for sure until we figure it out scientifically. Okay, men,

  [shouts] 

  Pirate Pa : Go fish!

• [Bob is trying to drive and is irritated by the kids' constant singing] 

  Bob the Tomato : How about for the next song I drive into the river?

  Kids : Yeah!

  [singing] 

  Kids : Drive into the river, Bob! Drive into the river, Bob!

• Dad : And I need to use your phone to call...

  Bob the Tomato : ...a tow truck.

  Dad : ...my wife.

• Jonah : I'm afraid the only thing left is to be thrown into the sea.

  Larry : Oh, you don't have to do that! We've got a plank! You can just walk off!

  Jonah : Yes, thank you. You're too kind.

• Pirate Pa : Normally you'd be entitled to a refund, but under the circumstances, y'know, with you dying and all...

  Jonah : No, I don't suppose a refund would do me much good now, would it?

• Jonah : The message is... STOP IT!

• Mr. Lunt : You are a cheating buccaneer!

  Larry : How am I supposed to cheat at Go Fish?

  [pause] 

  Mr. Lunt : I don't know.

• Junior : What did he learn?

  Pa Grape : The question is, "What did YOU learn?"

• Jonah : Something touched me!

• [during the closing credits song, Larry threatens to leave early] 

  Larry : I'm gonna go home and take a nap!

  Pa Grape : Come on, we have contractual obligations to finish the song.

  Mr. Lunt : They paid for a full 79 minutes of entertainment, pal! Get back in the booth!

  Larry : Wake me up for the prequel!

  [Larry leaves] 

  Pa Grape : Oh, come on! We were just starting to have fun!

  [laughs] 

  Pa Grape : Oh man, I need a tums.

  [Pa leaves] 

  Mr. Lunt : What? What, are we done? You mean that's it? Zim-bom-a-loo-bop-a-lop-bam-bing?... Hey, hey, ho ho ho, Hey hey, ho ho ho, hey hey... If you need me, I'll be on the porch.

• Pirate Pa , Larry , Mr. Lunt : ["The Credits Song"]  This is the song that runs under the credits. These are the credits, so this is where it goes. Has nothing to do with the movie so we'll say "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!..."

• Jonah : [to God]  Perhaps you've never been to Ninevah! Well, of course you haven't! A god like you would never go to a place like Ninevah!

• Pirate Pa : And besides, we've never sailed before. Ever. So the answer is no.

  Jonah : Money is no object.

• City Official, Crazy Jopponian : [after Jonah says he was swallowed by whale]  How do we know if he is telling the truth, sire?

  King Twistomer : Smell him.

  City Official, Crazy Jopponian : Excuse me, sire?

  King Twistomer : Smell him.

  [official smells Jonah and faints] 

• Jonah : [to Khalil]  Well, I did my job. I warned them they would be punished, and now we're going to watch them get wiped off the face of the earth!

  [whispers] 

  Jonah : I picked a safe distance so we won't get singed.

• Pa Grape : What you need is a little compassion.

  Larry : And maybe some scampi.

• Bob the Tomato : Then the asparagus hit me in the head with a guitar...

• [outtake] 

  Self-Help Tape Voice : Knock knock.

  Jonah : Uh... who's there?

  Self-Help Tape Voice : Big goofy asparagus in a turban.

  Jonah : Big goofy asparagus in a turban wh... oh, ha ha ha, very funny!

• [outtake; Jonah jumps up on his horse and immediately falls off again] 

  Jonah : Does anyone have ibuprofen? I need ibuprofen!

• Pirate Pa : Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here.

• Larry : [looking through telescope]  Thar she blows!

  Mr. Lunt : Where?

  Larry : Right there! Over by the barbecue!

  Mr. Lunt : [picks up ping-pong ball]  Got it!

• Pirate Pa : Bring out the cannon!

  Mr. Lunt : We ain't got no ammo!

  [Larry spots garden items] 

  Larry : Oh, yes, we do!

• Jonah : Sounds like a standard turn and repent to me.

• Pirate Pa : Okay. Here's the deal: The way I see it, there is a reason for this strom.

  Pirate Pa : [as Mr. Lunt shuffles the cards]  Somebody up there... is really upset with somebody down here. And it ain't going to let up until we know who that 'somebody' is. If could be any one of us. I have my suspicions, but we won't know for sure until we figure it out 'scientifically'.

  Pirate Pa : [picks up cards]  All right, men, Go Fish! Loser takes a swim!

  [Pa Grape, Jonah, Mr. Lunt, Larry and Khalil starts playing Go Fish while the ship is in the thunderstorm] 

  Pirate Pa : You got a perch?

  Mr. Lunt : Nope.

  Larry : You have any pickerel?

  Mr. Lunt : Nope.

  [One of the players matches a pair of yellow seahorses] 

  Mr. Lunt : You got a... muskellunge?

  Pirate Pa : Nope! Go Fish!

  Jonah : Oh, dear!

  Khalil : I am most desperate for a lobster.

  Pirate Pa : Sorry.

  Larry : [takes another card]  Drat!

  Mr. Lunt : He-he-he.

  Mr. Lunt : [pulls out to reveal that there are seven cards]  Oh!

  [Larry takes another card. As the game progresses, one player reveals a pair of purple jellyfish, another reveals two red pufferfish, and Khalil reveals two blue bass. Jonah has one card left] 

  Mr. Lunt : Got any bass?

  Pirate Pa : [depressed]  Yeah.

  [Pa's bass matches with Mr. King's. Jonah takes another two cards, Khalil has eight cards left] 

  Mr. Lunt : Octopus?

  Larry : Blue Gil?

  Pirate Pa : Tuna?

  Khalil : Halibut?

  [Pa reveals two yellow eels, Lunt reveals two purple octopuses, and Larry has two seahorses. Jonah and Khalil is still playing] 

  Khalil : You got any trout?

  [Jonah hands his trout to Khalil] 

  Khalil : [revelas two yellow whales, one of them is upside-down]  Hmm? Oh, what a goose I am! It's a match! I had it all along!

  [Jonah has one card left] 

  Pirate Pa : Huh? I thought for sure...

  Jonah : [abruptly interrupts Pa's sentence as he puts down his last card]  All right! I admit it. It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!

  Pirate Pa : But, I- The worm.

  Jonah : I am a Hebrew. And I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land. And I'm running away with him!

  [Lunt and Khalil gasp] 

  Jonah : He told me to go to Ninevah, but I didn't listen! You know, I don't like those people.

  Mr. Lunt : Ooooh. Fish slappers.

  Jonah : Yes! So I ran. I ran and I ended up here. And now everyone's in terrible danger all because of me. I- I'm afraid the only thing left is to be thrown into the sea!

  Larry : Awww, you don't have to do that. We got a plank.

  [Larry opens the entryway and a plank board pops in] 

  Larry : You can just walk off.

  Jonah : [after a short pause]  Yes, thank you. You're too kind.