- Fletch: I fuckin' hate dance music; gets right up my arse....
- Mr Smith: How's three hundred a week plus a percentage of the door on any nights other than Friday, Saturday, Monday, Wednesday or Thursday.
- Jimmy: ...we're shut on Sundays and Tuesdays...
- Mr Smith: I'll take that as a yes then.
- Jamal: If I ever meet someone and they're supposed to be important, I always imagine them taking a dump... it puts things in perspective. DJs are just people; brilliant party-set or not, the man has to pooh like the rest of us. Feces is the great leveler...
- Jimmy: How many times have I told you not to smoke crack in my office! Don't you know it's a fire hazard?