"Wie buchstabiert man Liebe?" or "How do you spell Love?" is a German television film from 2001, so this one is really close to its 20th anniversary, actually minimally under a year because it aired for the first time in November too. The film runs for slightly under 90 minutes just like the vast majority of German small screen releases. The director is Christine Hartmann and the screenplay is by Manfred Kosmann. No worries if you have not heard of either yet. You probably never will. The names do not seem familiar to me either. There are some parallels to them. Both still seem to be active now, both have been slightly over 20 years in the industry and both have body of work that may be slightly better than what you usually see for German small screen filmmakers and writers. But that is really just because they are usually really bad and not because the dup we have here would be any good or so. They still have many flawed projects in their admittedly pretty prolific bodies of work. Hartmann worked recently on the very successful Charité series here in Germany deserves also to be mentioned. I have not seen this series, so cannot say if it deserves the praise, but at least it proves that maybe she improved over the years and since she worked on really bad films and projects like this one here. Then again, this one here is so low that it is almost impossible to go further south on the quality scale. As for the cast, only the two leads are in a category of actors that you will identify immediately, if at all. Maybe this only applies to Suzanne von Borsody who is pretty experienced for sure and has also received many accolades. I kinda like her. Not always, but sometimes. However, seeing her in trashy movies like this does not exactly increase my appreciation. Peter Sattmann is the male co-lead, even if he is missing for large parts of the film in the second half, so you can also make an argument for him being the biggest supporting player and SvB the only lead. Saw him in another movie the other day and he was way worse there admittedly. Sellem plays the protagonist's loyal best friend. I don't know. I find the actress pretty unlikable and not talented. Especially as she has all her scenes together with von Borsody, it becomes very obvious there. She also has a tendency to go over the top. The only other name who seemed familiar to me from the supporting cast was Petra Kelling, but her role is truly minimal in terms of screen time. Of course, there are other cast members here, like the ex-husband, who have had really long careers and/or are still acting now, but nothing clicked for me there. A for the two child actors, the girl has long left the industry while the boy is also pursuing an acting career in his adult years. Not a familiar face either, even if he has been in stuff like "Die Welle".
Now let me mention a few scenes and inclusions why I think this film sucked. I don't think you can really blame the actors (except Sellem maybe). They did what they could with the sometimes downright abysmal script. The title is a little funny (or "funny") reference to the protagonist being dyslexic. The problem is this is the thing at the very center of the movie and it takes itself 100% serious about this plot inclusion. Which it has no right to. There is absolutely no credible dramatic tension in here whatsoever. Instead the film loses itself on the usual idea of men drooling over the female protagonist as it happens so often in these Degeto films. The old guy wants her back, but she does not want to because she condiers herself too good for him. The new guy wants her more and more the longer the film goes, but she keeps her distance there too for other reasons. If her inferiority complex makes sense because he is a writer is up to you to decide. I did not buy it. Just like I did not buy their romance from the start. Come on. He crashes into her with his car when she is riding a bike. He treats her really disrespectfully at her waitress job. (And no, this was not romantic banter.) She sevverely hurts her leg when she falls down because of something he did. This was mabye the most embarrassing scene of the entire movie. So fake. These are all grounds for really despising somebody, but hey not in the ARD television universe. There the two must 100% become a couple. Now a few really specific inclusions. Basically each and every single moment when they made a reference about her not being able to read or write properly was cringeworthy, sometimes more, sometimes less. The scene with the fake contract was crucial story-wise, but still on the more harmless side in terms of cringe. But be it the daughter constantly asking how you spell certain words, be it the lawyer making jokes about dyslexia on the phone while he does not know about the protagonist's illness or be it her colleagues constantly reading things out to her - it all feels so forced and fake for the sake of it all and never it feels effortless at all. There is also the scene with the woman behind her when she tries to withdraw some money from her bank account. Very unrealistic. There is always a safety space and this other woman does not care about it one bit, basically reads what is written on the screen. Is that for real? Or another terrible example is the first meeting with the lawyer. I already mentioned the joke on the phone, but if you pay close attention (or you don't even have to because it is so obvious), then you will see how, while he is talking to a potential new client, he just takes a call in the rudest fashion and does not even ask her if he may take it. This is not what reallity looks like. Not one bit. But still in the sense of a happy ending, in the end, she gets along so well with her lawyer and also wants him for the divorce settlement. At least he makes clear that it's nonsense she may lose her kids to her husband because of the dyslexia she is suffering from. Anyway, the latter is at the center of the film, so I would like to say a few words about it. I personally luckily do not suffer from it (obviously with me writing this review) and never have, but the way it is depicted here (so many examples I already mentioned, also when she enrolls for the class for grown-ups and there is a woman who knows her, what a small world!) I felt it downright offensive and almost as if it was mocking those who really suffer from it. This is one reason why I give this movie a massive thumbs-down. Disrespectful truly. The other key reason is that it is simply not good and that is already as gently-speaking as it gets. No vision, no creativity, no authenticity, nothing. It is indeed as bad as the title suggests. Highly not recommended.
Now let me mention a few scenes and inclusions why I think this film sucked. I don't think you can really blame the actors (except Sellem maybe). They did what they could with the sometimes downright abysmal script. The title is a little funny (or "funny") reference to the protagonist being dyslexic. The problem is this is the thing at the very center of the movie and it takes itself 100% serious about this plot inclusion. Which it has no right to. There is absolutely no credible dramatic tension in here whatsoever. Instead the film loses itself on the usual idea of men drooling over the female protagonist as it happens so often in these Degeto films. The old guy wants her back, but she does not want to because she condiers herself too good for him. The new guy wants her more and more the longer the film goes, but she keeps her distance there too for other reasons. If her inferiority complex makes sense because he is a writer is up to you to decide. I did not buy it. Just like I did not buy their romance from the start. Come on. He crashes into her with his car when she is riding a bike. He treats her really disrespectfully at her waitress job. (And no, this was not romantic banter.) She sevverely hurts her leg when she falls down because of something he did. This was mabye the most embarrassing scene of the entire movie. So fake. These are all grounds for really despising somebody, but hey not in the ARD television universe. There the two must 100% become a couple. Now a few really specific inclusions. Basically each and every single moment when they made a reference about her not being able to read or write properly was cringeworthy, sometimes more, sometimes less. The scene with the fake contract was crucial story-wise, but still on the more harmless side in terms of cringe. But be it the daughter constantly asking how you spell certain words, be it the lawyer making jokes about dyslexia on the phone while he does not know about the protagonist's illness or be it her colleagues constantly reading things out to her - it all feels so forced and fake for the sake of it all and never it feels effortless at all. There is also the scene with the woman behind her when she tries to withdraw some money from her bank account. Very unrealistic. There is always a safety space and this other woman does not care about it one bit, basically reads what is written on the screen. Is that for real? Or another terrible example is the first meeting with the lawyer. I already mentioned the joke on the phone, but if you pay close attention (or you don't even have to because it is so obvious), then you will see how, while he is talking to a potential new client, he just takes a call in the rudest fashion and does not even ask her if he may take it. This is not what reallity looks like. Not one bit. But still in the sense of a happy ending, in the end, she gets along so well with her lawyer and also wants him for the divorce settlement. At least he makes clear that it's nonsense she may lose her kids to her husband because of the dyslexia she is suffering from. Anyway, the latter is at the center of the film, so I would like to say a few words about it. I personally luckily do not suffer from it (obviously with me writing this review) and never have, but the way it is depicted here (so many examples I already mentioned, also when she enrolls for the class for grown-ups and there is a woman who knows her, what a small world!) I felt it downright offensive and almost as if it was mocking those who really suffer from it. This is one reason why I give this movie a massive thumbs-down. Disrespectful truly. The other key reason is that it is simply not good and that is already as gently-speaking as it gets. No vision, no creativity, no authenticity, nothing. It is indeed as bad as the title suggests. Highly not recommended.
