Scary Movie 3 (2003)

Anthony Anderson: Mahalik

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mahalik : I heard Jamal from 90th street watched that tape last week and this mornin' he woke up dead!

  CJ : How the hell do you wake up dead?

  Mahalik : Cause' you're alive when you go to sleep.

  CJ : So you're telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive?

  Mahalik : You can't go to bed dead! That shit would've been redundant.

  CJ : No it would'nt cause' you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed.

  Mahalik : But you are in the bed. That's how you wake up dead in the first place fool!

  CJ : Damn! that's some quantum shit right there man! You should be teaching classes!

• George : You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here

  [puts hand up in the air] 

  George : and start livin' down here?

  [puts hand down low] 

  Mahalik : Or what if we stop livin' over here

  [puts his hand out to the side] 

  Mahalik : and move over there?

  [puts his hand to the other side] 

  CJ : Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though.

  Mahalik : For what?

  CJ : Mice.

  Mahalik : I thought she had rats?

  CJ : No, rats are outside, mice are inside.

  Mahalik : But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?

  CJ : I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'.

  Mahalik : That's because it's a rat, fool!

  CJ : Damn! You mighta just made fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha!

  George : Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything...

• Alien #1 : Wait please, we mean you no harm. We travel to your planet to find an evil little girl. We must destroy her before seven days.

  George : You mean... You watched the video tape?

  Alien #1 : Our satellite caught up what we thought was Pootie Tang, that was a week ago. And now our entire race will die, unless the girl is destroyed.

  Tom : Aw, you see, they are peaceful.

  Mahalik : If they so peaceful, man, why were they choking us a few minutes ago?

  Alien #1 : Oh... that's how we say hello.

  George : Well how do you guys say goodbye?

  [an alien kicks George in the groin] 

  George : [in pain]  I had to ask.

• Mahalik : I found their weakness. They're powerless without their heads!

• Mahalik : [George is wearing a white hoodie that makes him resemble a KKK member]  George, the hood! Lose the hood!

  George : I know, we're in the hood now!

  Brenda Meeks : He's a dead man.

  George : [as crowd boos]  You guys feelin' me? In the hood?

  [does what looks like a Heil Hitler salute] 

• Mahalik : Yo George, you need something? I'll do anything for you... ANYTHING...

• Mahalik : Yo DJ, spin that shit!

• George : Why is there an open casket?

  Cindy : George it's a wake.

  George : She's alive, Sue your teacher is alive!

  Cindy : No George she's dead!

  George : No Brenda! Don't die on me!

  [starts doing CPR and mouth to mouth ressatession] 

  George : [people starts attacking george] 

  Mahalik : Hey get away from him broad!

  [starts punches while complete caous ensues] 

  George : [takes two wires]  clear!

• Mahalik : [to the Aliens]  So, if they're friendly, then how come they choke us a few minutes ago?

  Alien #1 : Oh, that's how we say hello.

  George : Then how do you say good-bye?

  [the Alien kicks him in the crotch] 

  George : Oooh... I had to ask...

  Alien #1 : If you think that's unusual, then you should see how we pee.

  [he starts peeing out of his finger] 

  President Harris : Oooooh, we are not so much different after all...

  [the President starts peeing out of his finger also]