Alien Beach Party Massacre (1996) Poster

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3/10
Beaches
BandSAboutMovies22 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Two different aliens - the humanoid Mirusian and the pig-appearing Ghastorian - have been battling over a Death Sphere that accidentally dropped off on Earth by goofball Mirusian janitor Nagillig - and because it looks just like a beach ball, it is fated to land on a beach and have some nerd scientists and surfer dudes try to figure out what's happening. Oh yeah, they also become friends with Nagillig.

There's a lot of weed smoking - one probably correctly believes that it was this way behind the camera as well - and death by surfboard, which doesn't happen all that often. The death comes from Ghastorian commander Lord Odem and his henchman, who lie in wait at an old house, where Dr. Bateman has been studying UFOs. Also: sunscreen can defeat aliens, so someone alert Baz Luhrmann.

Director and writer Andy Gizzarelli never made another film, but has worked on a producer on the HBO remake of Perry Mason, Bridgerton, And Just Like That..., True Detective, Big Little Lies and Feast. The amount that you will enjoy this movie is based on how much you can stand helium voices or people who sound like they're trying too hard to be Jeff Spicoli.

That said, it's a beach party science fiction slasher and there aren't many movies that can say that.
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10/10
Great Alien Beach Party Massacre movie or Greatest Alien Beach Party Massacre movie?
dn-ra-mo22 January 2008
There have been few alien beach party massacre movies that have been so moving, or so influential in my life as this one. More than any other, this movie has changed the way that I thought about alien beach party massacres.

John Eineigl's Dr. Bateman is perhaps the most finely acted scientist in alien beach party massacre movie history. I'll never forget his impassioned delivery of our planet's dire prognosis.

The special effects were incredibly realistic. Having witnessed several alien beach party massacres myself, I found myself struggling with my post traumatic stress disorder throughout the movie. Truly, there has never been a more realistic depiction.

Another reviewer questioned the sophistication of the dialog in the movie. Perhaps he has been to different alien beach party massacres than I, but in my experience most people revert to a childlike state of panic and fear. It only makes sense that a movie about an alien beach party massacre would have childlike dialog. Perhaps some would like it if Dr. Bateman had uttered some line belonging in Richard The Third, but for me it would have ruined the entire feel of the movie.

I'm just sad that Andy Gizzarelli is no longer making films in the alien beach party massacre genre. He will be sorely missed, as the contributions of more recent directors are but lifeless, shallow imitations of his groundbreaking work.
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10/10
"Find the Death-Sphere, Dr. Bateman..."
bowend33-122 January 2008
I'll be the first to admit that it took repeated viewings for me to fully appreciate Alien Beach Party Massacre, but repetition is where the true genius of this opus is discovered. Gizzarelli's alcohol-fueled, profanity laden, sun-soaked nightmare takes a hold of what the genre should be, then probes it like a newly abducted hillbilly.

Shot on a shoe-string budget at a pace that keeps you on the edge of your seat, this movie proves the theory that a timeless concept doesn't need millions of dollars to realize a well written script.

And this thriller still packs a punch!

While other ham-handed popcorn flicks from the same era (Independence Day immediately comes to mind) look remarkably dated, Alien Beach Part Massacre stands as a testament to the filmmakers sometimes hallucinatory, mostly inspired vision of what the future could be.
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