The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV Series)

Missing Joseph (2002)

Sharon Small: Barbara Havers

Quotes 

• Barbara Havers : Sir? How much did it cost?

  [reaches into handbag] 

  Thomas Lynley : I don't think we should have this conversation in public.

  [leads Havers to his office] 

  Barbara Havers : I don't believe you! I mean, how could you do that? You totally redecorated my house! I mean, who do you think you are interfering in *my life*?

  Thomas Lynley : I didn't mean to upset you. I thought I was helping.

  Barbara Havers : Oh! The Eighth Earl of Asherton patronizing the peasants!

  [door knocks] 

  Barbara Havers : Go away!

  Thomas Lynley : Come in!

  Uniformed Police Officer : [enters and hands a folder to Lynley]  You ah, might find these interesting, Sir.

  Thomas Lynley : Thanks very much.

  Uniformed Police Officer : [Looks at Havers then leaves] 

  Barbara Havers : Alright, explain. How does letting a bunch of decorators loose in my house help me?

  Thomas Lynley : Oh, be honest. You never were going to sell the place until you had done it up and you're paying a mortgage on a flat you're not even living in.

  Barbara Havers : That is my business, not yours!

  Thomas Lynley : Well, I thought we had forged some sort of bond here, however bizarre! I thought showing some concern was permitted!

  Barbara Havers : Concern? This is fascism! I mean, I don't even like Duck White!

  Thomas Lynley : Concern because you're sitting night after night avoiding the inevitable. If I never done it, you never would.

  Barbara Havers : You patronizing, sanctimonious...! Okay, I have been stalling. I am a coward. Now I'm panicking about leaving because the thought of coming home to nothing is more scary than coming home to a mother who doesn't know who I am. I keep putting off visiting my mum because she doesn't understand that I am dismantling her life and putting it into cardboard boxes. Now that is my problem and I don't need you to show me that I am an inadequate human being!

  Thomas Lynley : Alright. What I did was inexcusable. I'm very sorry. But one thing you are not is an inadequate human being.

• Thomas Lynley : [Introducing Havers]  Barbara Havers.

  Tony Philips : Barbara Havers? Finally get to put a face to the name.

  Barbara Havers : [laughs nervously, unsure of his meaning]  Sorry?

  Tony Philips : I was working with the Met last year. They were offering five to one that your partnership wouldn't make it out of the paddock.

  Thomas Lynley : [Indignant]  I beg your pardon?

  Tony Philips : [Condescendingly]  Just a bit of fun. I'm sure everyone's delighted that Barbara eventually found someone she's able to work with.

  Barbara Havers : You know, call me snob, Tony, but given the choice between workin' with a clever, considerate man or a... mouthy git, I know who I'd choose.

  Thomas Lynley : [Smiles softly at Havers' comment] 

  Tony Philips : You've obviously gotten her broken in, Lynley. If you're ever hard up, you're onto a dead cert.

  Thomas Lynley : [Rises from his chair] 

  Barbara Havers : No, it's okay, Sir. You see Tony spends most of his time cutting up dead people. He can't help having a warped, sick mind.

• Thomas Lynley : [after Tony Philips has insulted Havers earlier that day]  Everything alright?

  Barbara Havers : Yeah, fine, thanks.

  Thomas Lynley : I can have him up in front of the disciplinary board.

  Barbara Havers : No, no. I just prefer it if you held him against a wall and I just hit him.

  Thomas Lynley : I'll leave it then.