David Spade: Dickie Roberts
Photos
Quotes
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[Acting as a 6-year-old, finding a new bike on Christmas morning]
Dickie Roberts : Holy shit, a bike!
Rob Reiner : You're six.
Dickie Roberts : Holy crap, a bike!
Rob Reiner : You're six.
Dickie Roberts : Goo-goo, ga-ga, bikey!
Rob Reiner : Too far back.
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Dickie Roberts : This is Nuckin' Futs!
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Dickie Roberts : Insane in the membrane! Insane, got no brain!
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Dickie Roberts : Good night, prudes. Go have your G rated dreams. Prude filled dreams. Dream the dream of prudes. Prude...
Sam Finney : Go to sleep Dickie!
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Mrs. Gertrude : Aren't you a bit big to be in a stroller?
Dickie Roberts : Aren't you bit big to be on the sidewalk?
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Dickie Roberts : [having cereal] Hey, look, there's a prize inside!
[Gives Grace the middle finger]
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[Brendan Fraser is laughing]
Brendan Fraser : I'm telling this story to everybody! That's gotta be the dumbest thing I've ever witnessed!
Dickie Roberts : Maybe it was. But listen, what are you doing in a lamaze class anyways? Is your wife pregnant?
Brendan Fraser : Yes, my wife is pregnant. Here she is. Have you two met?
Dickie Roberts : Uh, no.
Afton Smith : Actually, we have. Three years ago you hit on me. Then I shot you down. Then you stole my number from a friend.
[Dickie has a confused look on his face]
Brendan Fraser : You know that we've been married more than three years, right?
Dickie Roberts : [Dickie was about to answer Brendan Fraser's question, then Afton Smith continues on with her story]
Afton Smith : Then you drunk dialed me like thirty times trying to hook up with me like I was some kind of booty call.
Dickie Roberts : Yes. Right. What's up?
Afton Smith : Anyway, I have to pee. Nice to see you.
Dickie Roberts : Yes, good to see you again.
[Dickie acts embarrassed]
Dickie Roberts : Anyway, Brendan, I'm a big fan...
Brendan Fraser : And you think that you can score if I got you an audition for "Mr. Blake's Backyard."
Dickie Roberts : Oh my god! Of course!
Brendan Fraser : I'll make that phone call for you, is it Rob Reiner?
Dickie Roberts : Oh my God! I love Brendan Frazier!
Brendan Fraser : Fraser!
Dickie Roberts : It is Fraser. It's Fraser. Why do people say...
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Barry Williams : I bet you a thousand dollars... no, make that a hundred dollars and the actual football we used to hit Marcia with in the whole "My nose, My nose" episode, that Brendan Frasier never calls.
[Dickie's phone rings]
Dickie Roberts : Hold on.
[answers phone]
Dickie Roberts : Go for Dickie.
[everyone else laughs]
Dickie Roberts : Brendan? Yes, of course I can meet Rob Reiner tomorrow!
Dickie Roberts : [laughs and points at Barry Williams, who glares at him]
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Dickie Roberts : When I was your age, I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Sally Finney : See, that might be why you're such a mess now.
Dickie Roberts : Oh. How dare you!
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Sally Finney : Dickie, you promised to help me with my pep squad tryouts.
Dickie Roberts : Oh, I will. That pep squad spot's got your name all over it. Did I ever tell you I was a backup dancer for Vanilla Ice?
Sam Finney : [laughs] No way!
Dickie Roberts : Oh, yeah, I owe him a call.
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Grace Finney : [Grace is pushing Dickie down the sidewalk in a stroller]
Grace Finney : This feels a little odd.
Dickie Roberts : Dude, I'm the one in the stroller.
Grace Finney : Did you just call me, dude?
Dickie Roberts : I mean mommy.
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Dickie Roberts : [to a bully picking on Sam] Is that red hair, or did someone light a fart off your mouth?
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Dickie Roberts : You know who else I don't get? Vin Diesel. I mean, is he good looking? Is he Chinese, or what? I mean, I don't know...
Leif Garrett : That's so horrible, man. Geez, you're such a dick. Besides, he would kick your ass.
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Dickie Roberts : That's a great idea! Not only is she sexy she's a smart Mommy!
Grace Finney : Why did that compliment almost make me puke?
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Dickie Roberts : Whoa! You ever have such a bad wipeout you don't even feel it?
[falls]
Sam Finney : That wasn't one of them!
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Bully : Hey!
Dickie Roberts : Hey? Don't you mean "Oink"?
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Dickie Roberts : May I help you? Was I being too loud in my treeehouse?
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Sally Finney : [both looking outside at treehouse] I wonder what he's doing up there.
Sam Finney : Who cares, just as long as Stranger Danger's out of our house.
Sally Finney : But still.
Sam Finney : Yeah. It actually looks pretty cool. Is that a disco ball?
Dickie Roberts : [inside treehouse] Woo!
Sally Finney : Seem, maybe we should peek our heads in.
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Girl : [two girls spot Leif Garrett and Dickie talking on the sidewalk] Oh, my God! You're Leif Garrett! I used to have such a crush on you!
Girl : Can I have your autograph?
Dickie Roberts : You want my autograph too? Dickie Roberts.
Girl : No, I'm fine.
Dickie Roberts : How about if I put it on a $5 bill?
Girl : Make it a 20?
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Dickie Roberts : [while talking to an overweight woman] What? Cat got your tongue or did you eat that for breakfast too?
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Dickie Roberts : [after seeing bump on receptionist's head] Yikes!... I mean, not yikes. I mean what bump?
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Dickie Roberts : [After singing the wrong words for a song on the radio] Changing the words, not the vibe.
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Grace Finney : Wow, sift through that to find the nugget of compliment.
Dickie Roberts : Sift away sifty.
