No one is safe from the bad writing, bad directing, and bad acting of Rice Girl, particularly not the pair of sibling-rivalry wannabes with famous last names, nor even the recognizable names like Morita and Haglund. It is not even "goodbad", in the John Waters or Ed Wood way. The entire wandering, reason-defying plot resembles a hazy version of Western culture that is defined by 1 part Looney Tunes, 1 part Benny Hill, and 4 parts Three Stooges, executed without the spontaneity, originality, or panache of any of them. The only character that barely makes it out of this debacle alive, despite over-the-top, jerky facial expressions and movements, is Eddie the guardian angel. From the bad accents to the poorly written and delivered dialogue to the strainfully overexaggerated reactions, every moment of this movie is painful.
17 Reviews
Holy Crap
saint_brett23 November 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I bought this DVD back in early September, it arrived today! Hope it was worth it.
Now what in the hell have we got here - Toni Basil in her Mickey outfit?
A "Karate Kid" crane kick reference already?
John Kreese just put a pimp in a laundromat spin cycle. Literally.
The quality of this movie is worse than a 460p YouTube upload. The acting in this is worse than a late night comedy sketch show. Storyline - what story line? The camera work is atrocious and blurs at times and even cuts the actors heads out of frame or zooms in too close.
How could Martin Kove lower himself to be in this? Mr. Miagi hasn't even been introduced to embarrass himself yet either.
How does a movie like this get the green light for public approval? Is no one in Hollywood looking out for the general public? This isn't even entertaining! Who finds people poking their tongues out funny? And whose brand of comedy is this anyway? I haven't laughed once as this is more painful than root canal without a local.
This is juvenile, like it was written by junior high school children.
I'm not cutting a sympathy deal with this movie just because Kreese & Miyagi are in it.
There's no storyline worthy to report. I can't review this as I'm so upset how I've been hustled out of my money on this junk! There is no storyline! It's just bad actors trying to be funny when they're not with silly childish sound effects using Adobe editing equipment.
I paid $28 U. S. for this and $32 U. S. for postage, and with our lousy exchange rate concerning the dollar, I forked out over 90 bucks all up for this! This movie is not even worth 90 cents.
The saddest part about this movie is that Cove and Miyagi made an acclaimed movie in "The Karate Kid," which put them all on the map, and you don't go from making "The Karate Kid" and downgrading back to some amateurish crap like this. You'd normally embarrass yourself in "Rice Girl" before going on to be in a "Karate Kid" type movie, not the other way around.
What's the running time on this garbage? How much more do I have to endure?
So Mr. Miyagi eventually shows up, as his "Happy Days" character, selling bear claws. He's billed as the star of the movie and he's only in it for 5-minutes. Why am I even giving this one point for?
When you mention terrible movies like "After Last Season," "Things" and "Warlords" you also have to throw "Rice Girl" in your top 10 somewhere. Embarrassingly stupid.
Now what in the hell have we got here - Toni Basil in her Mickey outfit?
A "Karate Kid" crane kick reference already?
John Kreese just put a pimp in a laundromat spin cycle. Literally.
The quality of this movie is worse than a 460p YouTube upload. The acting in this is worse than a late night comedy sketch show. Storyline - what story line? The camera work is atrocious and blurs at times and even cuts the actors heads out of frame or zooms in too close.
How could Martin Kove lower himself to be in this? Mr. Miagi hasn't even been introduced to embarrass himself yet either.
How does a movie like this get the green light for public approval? Is no one in Hollywood looking out for the general public? This isn't even entertaining! Who finds people poking their tongues out funny? And whose brand of comedy is this anyway? I haven't laughed once as this is more painful than root canal without a local.
This is juvenile, like it was written by junior high school children.
I'm not cutting a sympathy deal with this movie just because Kreese & Miyagi are in it.
There's no storyline worthy to report. I can't review this as I'm so upset how I've been hustled out of my money on this junk! There is no storyline! It's just bad actors trying to be funny when they're not with silly childish sound effects using Adobe editing equipment.
I paid $28 U. S. for this and $32 U. S. for postage, and with our lousy exchange rate concerning the dollar, I forked out over 90 bucks all up for this! This movie is not even worth 90 cents.
The saddest part about this movie is that Cove and Miyagi made an acclaimed movie in "The Karate Kid," which put them all on the map, and you don't go from making "The Karate Kid" and downgrading back to some amateurish crap like this. You'd normally embarrass yourself in "Rice Girl" before going on to be in a "Karate Kid" type movie, not the other way around.
What's the running time on this garbage? How much more do I have to endure?
So Mr. Miyagi eventually shows up, as his "Happy Days" character, selling bear claws. He's billed as the star of the movie and he's only in it for 5-minutes. Why am I even giving this one point for?
When you mention terrible movies like "After Last Season," "Things" and "Warlords" you also have to throw "Rice Girl" in your top 10 somewhere. Embarrassingly stupid.
Odd and amusing
chalyss29 August 2005
The movie has a very good film quality not usually found in many indy productions... then again, this film obviously had some small budget. Being involved in the indy scene, though, it was nice to see something NOT filmed on a shaky digital camera and overexposed.
Not terribly well acted but definitely not the worst I've seen, the movie is a satire that pokes fun at Asian and Hollywood stereotypes, though not very convincingly. Instead of coming off as a satire, it comes off as simply over-the-top and cartoony, especially with the ANNOYING acting of the man who plays Eddy. This guy has a rubber face Jim Carrey would be envious of if it were not used to such poor effect.
Extras were in short supply here and the backdrops were very poor-man's-props, to the point that a donut shop looked like a tent. As I said, very indy, but the magic if indy film is using what you have on hand and making it look half-way plausible, so we'll overlook that. Characterization was shaky but not sure that was part of the 'satire' thing or not. The Christian overtones were unexpected but very welcome for their rarity. All in all, a cute film and worth checking out if you have some time to kill and appreciate independent cinema.
Not terribly well acted but definitely not the worst I've seen, the movie is a satire that pokes fun at Asian and Hollywood stereotypes, though not very convincingly. Instead of coming off as a satire, it comes off as simply over-the-top and cartoony, especially with the ANNOYING acting of the man who plays Eddy. This guy has a rubber face Jim Carrey would be envious of if it were not used to such poor effect.
Extras were in short supply here and the backdrops were very poor-man's-props, to the point that a donut shop looked like a tent. As I said, very indy, but the magic if indy film is using what you have on hand and making it look half-way plausible, so we'll overlook that. Characterization was shaky but not sure that was part of the 'satire' thing or not. The Christian overtones were unexpected but very welcome for their rarity. All in all, a cute film and worth checking out if you have some time to kill and appreciate independent cinema.
Great movie! A must see for comedy/adventure fans!
shesonlytwenty14 March 2004
I just finished watching the movie late last night about 3am. It is hilarious! I love it! I like Cheryl's ENGLISH accent when she was wearing a blonde wig. That Ian Lithgow guy (John Lithgow's son) is a good actor plays Detective Tom Monk. Pat Morita's short appearance was awesome. Eddie the goldfish was awesome as well and so was Bryan Frank. Oh yes, almost forgot Dean Haglund as Director Martini was a riot! I love the songs "Sticky Rice" and "Marlin Man". When is the soundtrack coming out? I can't wait! I give it 10 out of 10! Come on guys let's vote for this awesome flick! Cheryl Ling Monk has done it! I can't wait for her next feature. A must see comedy / adventure fans!
Cute story
Swingboy27 September 2005
This story of an Asian American actress (Cheryl Monk, who wrote and executive produced) trying to make it in Hollywood is played out through a series of vignettes that include an encounter with a Russian acting coach and a fairly hilarious scene in a Chinese seafood restaurant. Interwoven with this tale is a plot thread involving the undercover police officer (Ian Lithgow) and his efforts to redeem himself in the eyes of his superiors, including Martin Kove (The Karate Kid, Cagney & Lacey) after a narcotics bust goes hysterically awry.
Aided and abetted by a guardian Angel named Eddie, who transforms from a talking goldfish into a wisecracking spirit in the vein of Mr. Jordan from "Heaven Can Wait," Cheryl perseveres in her efforts to secure the plum role of "Hooker X" in the upcoming film to be directed by an auteur director played by the X-Files' Dean Haglund (The Lone Gunmen).
Standout performances in this film are delivered by the easygoing Ian Lithgow, who, at times, is reminiscent of radio personality and Comedy Central mainstay Adam Carolla, Jacqueline Jetter as Cheryl's tutor in the world of prostitution, and Cheryl Monk, who has a wonderfully madcap quality about her performance. Yes, it's a low budget production, but the plot is amusing, the pacing breezy, and apart from a typically over-the-top performance by Martin Sheen's brother, Joe Estevez, the acting is within acceptable limits for a farce without being too hammy. All in all, a very cute film.
Aided and abetted by a guardian Angel named Eddie, who transforms from a talking goldfish into a wisecracking spirit in the vein of Mr. Jordan from "Heaven Can Wait," Cheryl perseveres in her efforts to secure the plum role of "Hooker X" in the upcoming film to be directed by an auteur director played by the X-Files' Dean Haglund (The Lone Gunmen).
Standout performances in this film are delivered by the easygoing Ian Lithgow, who, at times, is reminiscent of radio personality and Comedy Central mainstay Adam Carolla, Jacqueline Jetter as Cheryl's tutor in the world of prostitution, and Cheryl Monk, who has a wonderfully madcap quality about her performance. Yes, it's a low budget production, but the plot is amusing, the pacing breezy, and apart from a typically over-the-top performance by Martin Sheen's brother, Joe Estevez, the acting is within acceptable limits for a farce without being too hammy. All in all, a very cute film.
Cheryl Monk puts a smile to my face
zendog917 February 2006
This movie was a very refreshing change from the commercial movie industry. It was a joy watching the characters (especially Cheryl Monk) in action. Not only is she talented but absolutely gorgeous to look at. Windy's antics kept me laughing through out. Pat Morita also was funny along with the whole cast including the detectives. And the use of the talking fish was funny.If you want to sit back and have some good laughs I definitely recommend this movie. Looking forward to more work from Cheryl. Either acting or writing. She is definitely an up and coming talent. By the way....Cheryl Monk looks incredible in a bathing suit!
Hilarious!
jenandcam20 May 2007
"Rice Girl" is a wonderful movie with lots of laughs and originality.
The cast is a group of talented actors, many of whom you will recognize and a few unknowns.
Cheryl Ling is especially great. She comes across as very likable, talented and obviously beautiful. She is absolutely hilarious (with great facial expressions!)and I would love to see more work from Cheryl.
This movie is perfect when you are in the mood for a lighthearted, laugh-out-loud comedy.
Highly recommended!!
The cast is a group of talented actors, many of whom you will recognize and a few unknowns.
Cheryl Ling is especially great. She comes across as very likable, talented and obviously beautiful. She is absolutely hilarious (with great facial expressions!)and I would love to see more work from Cheryl.
This movie is perfect when you are in the mood for a lighthearted, laugh-out-loud comedy.
Highly recommended!!
A cult classic!
AndersGronstedt20 December 2011
Rice Girl is a cult classic, with very funny dialogue, set pieces, wardrobe and acting. It follows a Chinese Hollywood actress who goes under cover as a prostitution to land a role in the movie "Hooker X." It's played by the smoking hot and hilarious Cheryl Ling (Monk) who stars, wrote and produced the movie. The films has many uproarious moments. My favorite is the date when the Texas cop asks his Chinese date "Why is everything from your country good for man." His date deadpans in response that her father always said that "if they put led in your pencil, just eat it." From beginning to end, the film delivers the exuberance and veracities of Asian culture, Hollywood industry and the sex industry. It's a must see movie!
Fun movie, do see it.
lotz_jim11 August 2005
This is a very fun movie. Lighthearted, goofy/silly comedy with facial expressions to match had me cracking up. There are scenes which are a particular riot, like when Windy sees the Russian acting coach and shows him her slapstick sample tape, and we see his reaction to it. And then there's the cop with the powdered donut, Windy chowing down on fish heads, and the wrestler with the Godzilla-ish roar to keep up the silliness.
I'd love to see more movies with Cheryl Ling, the character of Windy is wonderfully likable, even if not so bright.
This movie also carries a Christian message not normally seen in a Hollywood production, in a nice way.
I got some mileage out of the catchy "Sticky Rice" song, which stayed in my head but not in an annoying way.
This movie is good for people who like this type of humor. A word of warning: You may not want to watch it with your young kids unless you want to explain what a hooker is.
I'd love to see more movies with Cheryl Ling, the character of Windy is wonderfully likable, even if not so bright.
This movie also carries a Christian message not normally seen in a Hollywood production, in a nice way.
I got some mileage out of the catchy "Sticky Rice" song, which stayed in my head but not in an annoying way.
This movie is good for people who like this type of humor. A word of warning: You may not want to watch it with your young kids unless you want to explain what a hooker is.
Very funny movie, excellent acting by Windy Yee
rnadimpalli7 September 2010
Very funny movie. I enjoyed it. I really thought the extra characters slightly (even that big Japanese actor playing the grocery store owner) distracted the story flow.
I think the story stayed course when Windy was on the screen. I thought her British accent was hilarious. The whole 'Cops in disguised funny costumes' was the not so interesting part for me, also the Mexican guy character didn't seem to fit in the movie. But I liked it overall. This movie should make it on to some TV channel at least, if not theaters.
I wonder if bits and pieces of this movie are based on Windy's real life
Windy has a lot of potential as an actress. Highly recommend to others.
I think the story stayed course when Windy was on the screen. I thought her British accent was hilarious. The whole 'Cops in disguised funny costumes' was the not so interesting part for me, also the Mexican guy character didn't seem to fit in the movie. But I liked it overall. This movie should make it on to some TV channel at least, if not theaters.
I wonder if bits and pieces of this movie are based on Windy's real life
Windy has a lot of potential as an actress. Highly recommend to others.
Loved it!
tmp9021025 June 2005
Wonderful movie well worth owning. I was surprised at the Christian message- but in a good way (and I am not at all religious). Cheryl Ling is a hoot as Windy, the Rice Girl determined to land a part in a new movie- so determined that she takes the advice of a down-at-heel acting coach and decides to "live" her role" This leads Windy and her pet fish to Hollywood where in her research for the role, she (hilariously) runs afoul of undercover cops Ian Lithgow and Martin Kove.
There are a bunch of really fun performances in this one, both from people you've never heard of and from some old favorites, all of whom deliver some great laughs (Kove's scene with a powdered donut had me reeling).
Buy this one right now.
There are a bunch of really fun performances in this one, both from people you've never heard of and from some old favorites, all of whom deliver some great laughs (Kove's scene with a powdered donut had me reeling).
Buy this one right now.
Must See!
Cbusch8630 January 2004
Story of an actress who uses "method Acting" to gain a part in a movie. I enjoyed this film and was pleasantly surprised at the Christian message in it. Although Dean Haglund had a small part in this film he certainly Made the best of it! I would recomend this film to anyone who likes comedy! My nine year old daughter also really enjoyed this film!
Funny and Entertaining Indy
sdavis9929 August 2006
I was very entertained watching "Rice Girl"--I smiled or laughed all the way through. Cheryl Monk's facial expressions were precious--so much fun to watch. Fairly impressive cast for an Indy film with Pat Morita and Dean Haglund. Eddie's character was a clever use of anthropomorphism in switching between animal, human, AND guardian angel--quite cute.
My only concern: to enjoy this movie, one must appreciate the occasional sideline comedy "shorts" spread throughout the movie. It will probably be hard to find them all funny, but still clever nonetheless.
My only concern: to enjoy this movie, one must appreciate the occasional sideline comedy "shorts" spread throughout the movie. It will probably be hard to find them all funny, but still clever nonetheless.
Aspiring actress Windy Yee's efforts to land the lead role in a major film lead to a series of madcap misadventures
moon_jaguar14 April 2004
Cheryl Monk's first film,"Rice Girl" is a lighthearted spoof of the standard Hollywood newbie starlet cliche. The film follows the outrageous misadventures of Windy Yee (played by Cheryl Monk), who has managed to squander the money her family sent for her education on acting lessons and is trying desperately to land a role in any film to prove to her family that her dream is worth following.
When she reads that Director Martini (Dean Haglund) is looking for the perfect actor for his new move, "Hooker X," Windy decides that this part will be the perfect opportunity for her. She hands her savings over to the worst method acting coach in the world (played by film veteran Yevgeni Lazarev), to learn the magic technique that will make her perfect for the lead in the movie. His bad advice sends her off to learn the art of acting like a hooker from a real hooker (played by the outrageously hip and sassy Kay Billings) -- and straight into the vice squad investigation being run by Detectives Tom Monk (Ian Lithgow) and Alan Long (Joe Estevez.)
The silliness continues as Windy's outrageously uptight and extremely religious roommate starts praying for her "lost sister" and turns Windy's pet goldfish, Eddie, into a guardian angel, played with gleeful panache by newcomer Bryan Frank.
This is a film that never takes itself seriously. The zany, Chuck Jones style of the physical comedy heightens the absurdity of the plot.
Featured guest appearances by veteran actors added sparkle to the movie. Pat Morita turns in one of the funniest scenes as a shopkeeper confronting Hollywood's mot incompetent bandit (newcomer Mario Gallegos,) while Martin Kove as Captain Ron Williams seemed to have a wonderful time chewing up the scenery. Lone Gunmen actor Dean Haglund closes the movie with a first-rate improved rant scene that will have you in stitches.
Enjoyable and fast-paced. Recommended for all ages.
When she reads that Director Martini (Dean Haglund) is looking for the perfect actor for his new move, "Hooker X," Windy decides that this part will be the perfect opportunity for her. She hands her savings over to the worst method acting coach in the world (played by film veteran Yevgeni Lazarev), to learn the magic technique that will make her perfect for the lead in the movie. His bad advice sends her off to learn the art of acting like a hooker from a real hooker (played by the outrageously hip and sassy Kay Billings) -- and straight into the vice squad investigation being run by Detectives Tom Monk (Ian Lithgow) and Alan Long (Joe Estevez.)
The silliness continues as Windy's outrageously uptight and extremely religious roommate starts praying for her "lost sister" and turns Windy's pet goldfish, Eddie, into a guardian angel, played with gleeful panache by newcomer Bryan Frank.
This is a film that never takes itself seriously. The zany, Chuck Jones style of the physical comedy heightens the absurdity of the plot.
Featured guest appearances by veteran actors added sparkle to the movie. Pat Morita turns in one of the funniest scenes as a shopkeeper confronting Hollywood's mot incompetent bandit (newcomer Mario Gallegos,) while Martin Kove as Captain Ron Williams seemed to have a wonderful time chewing up the scenery. Lone Gunmen actor Dean Haglund closes the movie with a first-rate improved rant scene that will have you in stitches.
Enjoyable and fast-paced. Recommended for all ages.
The Rice Review
dwigh_harris5 January 2020
Man, movie is a little quirky but hilarious. I watched it 3 times in two days. It was a little hard to follow at first but I got it. Very funny. Very quirk. Cheryl Ling looks good and the movie is original. 3 stars out of 4
Larkin Schramm was great in this
greenbeanz-0005215 April 2015
Larkin Schramm was amazing in this stellar film!! The phallic symbolism really shined through in the rice metaphors. Amazing work.... My only qualm is that the director might have been a little too flexible. Those Asian gymnasts really blow the competition out of the water so thank GOd that she's trained as a seaman. Overall, spectacular film. Definitely a less annoying, gross, or pretentious choice than many others. I know I appreciated the way that once you turn on the VCR, this movie acts like it's the only film in your life. Trust me, you won't need to exert the effort needed to watch the 6 other full-length films in your schedule.
Hollywood hilarity reigns in this farcical fairy tale of a starlets ambition
apicasso3115 May 2009
Rice Girl, a 2003 production directed by Michael Fischa with Cheryl Ling in her starring and writing debut as Windy Yee. This is the story of a struggling actress and her misadventures in trying to win the starring role of Hooker X a fictional major motion picture production.
Windy is told by her acting teacher Mr. Roulette that in order to get the part of Hooker X she must learn how to turn tricks, eat, breath, think, live and become like a hooker, none of which sits well with Windy's best friend and roommate Darla, a devout Christian. Windy dismisses her friends concerns and proceeds on her mission of obtaining her life long quest of movie stardom. While researching the role as Hooker X Windy is befriended by a real hooker, played by Jacqueline Jetter as Jaundra Rolle, meets a rouges gallery of characters along the way and after a prayerful intervention by her friend Darla, is blessed with the assistance of a guardian angel.
Rice Girl is an interesting mixture of physical comedy, slapstick humor, sex, and religion. Ms. Ling is a delight to behold, her physical presence, charm and over-the-top portrayal lends itself nicely to the role as the naïve and guileless Windy Yee who struggles to learn the part of Hooker X without actually letting it becoming part of her.
Rice Girl also stars many well known actors such as Ian Lithgow (Third Rock from the Sun), Martin Kove (Cagney and Lacy, The Karate Kid), Dean Haglund (The X Files), Joe Estevez and the late Noriyuki "Pat" Morita (Midway, Happy Days, Karate Kid).
Rice Girl is most definitely a guilty pleasure to watch and experience, slightly risqué, and a gentle and fun prod to those struggling to reach for the stars and determined enough not to give up.
Windy is told by her acting teacher Mr. Roulette that in order to get the part of Hooker X she must learn how to turn tricks, eat, breath, think, live and become like a hooker, none of which sits well with Windy's best friend and roommate Darla, a devout Christian. Windy dismisses her friends concerns and proceeds on her mission of obtaining her life long quest of movie stardom. While researching the role as Hooker X Windy is befriended by a real hooker, played by Jacqueline Jetter as Jaundra Rolle, meets a rouges gallery of characters along the way and after a prayerful intervention by her friend Darla, is blessed with the assistance of a guardian angel.
Rice Girl is an interesting mixture of physical comedy, slapstick humor, sex, and religion. Ms. Ling is a delight to behold, her physical presence, charm and over-the-top portrayal lends itself nicely to the role as the naïve and guileless Windy Yee who struggles to learn the part of Hooker X without actually letting it becoming part of her.
Rice Girl also stars many well known actors such as Ian Lithgow (Third Rock from the Sun), Martin Kove (Cagney and Lacy, The Karate Kid), Dean Haglund (The X Files), Joe Estevez and the late Noriyuki "Pat" Morita (Midway, Happy Days, Karate Kid).
Rice Girl is most definitely a guilty pleasure to watch and experience, slightly risqué, and a gentle and fun prod to those struggling to reach for the stars and determined enough not to give up.
See also
Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews
