Something's Gotta Give (2003)
Diane Keaton: Erica Barry
Photos
Quotes
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Harry Sanborn : Some people consider rap poetry.
Erica Barry : C'mon, how many words can you rhyme with bitch?
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Erica Barry : [Harry walks in, with her naked] Ahh!
Harry : [Seeing Erica] Oh! Oh.
Erica Barry : No! STOP!
Harry : OH! OOH!
Erica Barry : [Walking behind the door] AAHH! STOP!
Harry : [Hits a wall full of pictures, covering his eyes partly] Oh, I'm sorry! Oh, God, am I sorry?
Erica Barry : WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Harry : I'm sorry! I didn't see anything. Except maybe a few tits!
[Diane screams and runs away]
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Erica Barry : [on her play] It's about a divorced woman, a writer. She's this high-strung, overamped, controlling, know-it-all neurotic.
[Everyone stares at her]
Erica Barry : ... who's incredibly *cute*, and lovable.
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Erica Barry : I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't great.
Harry : Let's just calm down. I had these plans before I even met you. I mean, I do like seeing you. I do.
Erica Barry : [scoff] Yeah.
Harry : I'm always surprised by it.
Erica Barry : Surprised by it? What was I thinking?
Harry : I have never lied to you. I have always told you some version of the truth.
Erica Barry : The truth doesn't have versions, okay?
Harry : Will you cut me a little slack? My life has just been turned upside down.
Erica Barry : Mine too!
Harry : Well, then let's just each get our bearings.
Erica Barry : I don't want my bearings. I've had my bearings my whole goddamn life. I feel something with you I never really knew existed. Do you know what that's like, after a 20-year marriage to feel something for another person that is so...? That... Oh, Right. Right. Not your problem. God. Do you know that I've written this, but I never really got it? Do you know what this is?
Harry : No.
Erica Barry : [Erica kisses Harry] This is heartbroken. How's that for impervious.
Harry : You're killing me.
Erica Barry : I just wish that it had lasted more than a week.
Harry : Me too.
Erica Barry : That is a terrible thing to say. You know, the life I had before you I knew how to do that. I could do that forever. But now look at me. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do with all this?
Harry : Erica. Can you wait just a second? The truth is, I... I just... I don't know how to be a boyfriend.
Erica Barry : That's what you have to say after all of this? That you don't know how to be a boyfriend?
Harry : That's not a small thing.
Erica Barry : [shakes head] Are we done?
Harry : I don't know.
Erica Barry : Oh, my God.
[Erica gets in taxi and drives away]
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Erica Barry : You know what, Harry. If it's all right with you, I'd like to be friends.
Harry Sanborn : Friends? I'm not ready to be your FRIEND!
Erica Barry : Fine, I understand.
Harry Sanborn : And anyway, do you really buy that horseshit that a man and a woman can be friends after they've had sex?
Erica Barry : I'm friends with my ex-husband but then again, we didn't just have sex.
Harry Sanborn : We didn't just have sex either.
Erica Barry : Then what was it? I'd love to know.
Harry Sanborn : Can I email it to ya when I figure it out?
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Harry Sanborn : I love ya.
Erica Barry : Well, I love you too! If that's what you said. I don't know if it ends in a 'ya' if it's a true 'I love you.'
Harry Sanborn : You're not like anybody.
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Erica Barry : I DO like sex!
Harry Sanborn : You certainly do.
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Harry Sanborn : I think I'm entering into another phase with this thing. I'm mad at you.
Erica Barry : I think I'm mad at you too.
Harry Sanborn : Good, because I don't LIKE thinking about you all the time and worrying about how you are...
Erica Barry : You... worry about ME?
Harry Sanborn : Yes, honey. The schmuck, who deserves to die, worries about you. Sometimes worrying about you feels like a full-time job.
Erica Barry : Well I'm doing just fine, so you don't have to work that shift anymore!
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Harry Sanborn : I can't get past your damn turtleneck.
Erica Barry : Cut it off!
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Julian Mercer : I knew you'd smell good.
Erica : It's just... soap
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Erica Barry : Oh, you fucking guy!
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Harry : [to a madly irritated Erica] I don't think I've ever had this effect on a woman before.
Erica Barry : What effect do you think you're having on me?
Harry : I don't quite recognize it. That's how I know I never had it before.
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Marin : Are you crying?
Erica Barry : Yeah. It's my new thing. I've gotten abnormally brilliant at it.
Marin : Why? What is it?
Erica Barry : I'm in love. Ain't it great? Seems like I gotta learn how to that... love-them-and-leave-them stuff, you know?
Marin : Oh mom, I hate this. Now do you get my theory about all this? You gotta self-protect.
Erica Barry : You don't really buy this stuff you say, do you? You don't actually think that you can outsmart getting hurt?
Marin : I think it's worth trying.
Erica Barry : Listen to me. You can't hide from love for the rest of your life because maybe it won't work out... maybe you'll become unglued? It's just not a way to live.
Marin : Are you telling me this is good? What's happened to you?
Erica Barry : I think you should consider the possibility that you and I are more alike than you realize. I let someone in, and I had the time of my life.
Marin : I've never had the time of my life.
Erica Barry : I know, baby. And I say this from the deepest part of my heart. What are you waiting for?
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Erica Barry : What are you doing here, Harry?
Harry : Turns out the heartattack was easy to get over. You... were something else. I finally get it. I'm 63 years old... and I'm in love for the first time in my life.
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Erica Barry : Harry, your heart attack could be the best thing that's ever happened to me!
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Harry : I'm dating your daughter, Marin. She invited me here for the weekend. She is in her room right now changing.
Erica Barry : Aah! You're dating my daughter?
Harry : Now who would have thought that would be worst news?
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Harry : What's with the turtlenecks? It's the middle of summer.
Erica Barry : Honestly what do you care what I wear?
Harry : Just curious.
Erica Barry : I like them I've always liked them and I am just a turtleneck kind of gal.
Harry : You never get hot?
Erica Barry : No.
Harry : Never?
Erica Barry : Not Lately.
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Harry : I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.
Erica Barry : The truth doesn't have versions, okay?
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Julian Mercer : You really are a very sexy woman.
Erica Barry : No, really, swear to God, I'm NOT.
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Julian Mercer : The woman is really very brilliant, but she cannot hold her liquor.
Erica Barry : I like that about me.
Harry Sanborn : Me too.
[At the same time as Harry]
Julian Mercer : Me too.
Erica Barry : If I were writing this, this is where I would write "an awkward moment".
Harry Sanborn : Honey, if you were writing this, I'd be DEAD!
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Erica Barry : Wait. You're leaving, Zoe's leaving, the entourage is leaving. You mean I'm going to be alone in this house... with HIM?
Marin : Well, the hospital's sending over a nurse first thing in the morning.
Erica Barry : In the morning? That's like nineteen hours from now!
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Erica Barry : I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't so great.
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Marin : We know this about me. I'm just not cut out for this kind of drama.
Erica Barry : I think it's the drama in life that makes you strong.
Marin : You always say thinks like that!
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Erica Barry : [after kissing Harry passionately for the first time] I'm... I'm sorry.
Harry : For what?
Erica Barry : I... I just kissed you.
Harry : No, honey. *I* kissed *you*.
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Harry : [after Erica tries to get Harry arrested] You don't understand... i'm dating your daughter.
Erica Barry : Oh my God! Your dating my daughter?
Harry : Now who would have thought that was worst news?
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Marin : Harry was once engaged to Diane Sawyer.
Zoe : Diane Sawyer? No way, I love her!
Erica Barry : That's wonderful!
Harry : Women your age love that about me.
Erica Barry : Ah.
Harry : No, that's a good thing.
Erica Barry : I'm sure you meant it as a compliment.
Harry : Yes, it was meant as a compliment.
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[after making out with Julian]
Erica Barry : Good. That's very good.
