The Muppets Go to the Movies (1981 TV Movie)

Jim Henson: Kermit the Frog, Rowlf, The Swedish Chef, Waldorf, Link Hogthrob

Quotes 

• Scooter (as Porthos) : The villain has dropped something--perhaps it is a clue!

  Link Hogthrob (as Gummo) : It is a crumpet.

  Scooter (as Porthos) : A pumpernickel crumpet!

  The Great Gonzo (as Athos) : [fighting the bandit]  A pumpernickel crumpet?

  Scooter (as Porthos) : And furthermore, it has lumps all over it.

  The Great Gonzo (as Athos) : A lumpy pumpernickel crumpet?

  Link Hogthrob (as Gummo) : A crumpy lumpernickel pumpet?

  Scooter (as Porthos) : And in all of France, there is but one bakery which makes such a delicacy!

  The Great Gonzo (as Athos) : And that bakery is?

  Scooter (as Porthos) : Humperdinck's!

  The Great Gonzo (as Athos) : Egad! Humperdinck's lumpy pumpernickel crumpet?

  Link Hogthrob (as Gummo) : Egad! Humperdinck's lumpy humple-crumple pumplehumple...

  Scooter (as Porthos) : And who is the man who loves Humperdinck's lumpy pumpernickel crumpets beyond all things?

  Link Hogthrob (as Gummo) , The Great Gonzo (as Athos) : We don't know, who?

  Scooter (as Porthos) : That simplewimp the Scarlet Pimpernel!

  The Great Gonzo (as Athos) : Yes it is!

  Scooter (as Porthos) , The Great Gonzo (as Athos) : It's that simplewimp Pimpernel and his Humperdinck's lumpy pumpernickel crumpets!

  [to audience] 

  Scooter (as Porthos) , The Great Gonzo (as Athos) : Ta da!

  Link Hogthrob (as Gummo) : Egad! It's that simplewimp Pimpernel and humpy-humper... humpy-dumple... Can we just get on with the story?

• [Backstage; Link comes hurtling through the air and lands on top of Miss Piggy. She untangles herself and stands up, furious] 

  Miss Piggy : Do you know what you just did?

  Link Hogthrob : Yes, I flew through the air with the greatest of ease. The audience loved it. They wanted an encore.

  Miss Piggy : Well, let us not disappoint them.

  [karate chopping him] 

  Miss Piggy : HIYA!

• Link Hogthrob (as Gummo) : Egad, it's that simple wimp Pimpernel and lumpy gumpel shlumpel dumpel... can we just get on with the story?

  Scooter (as Porthos) : Good idea! For there, the dreaded Scarlet Pimpernel is making his escape!

  The Great Gonzo (as Athos) : Yoinks, Porthos! Thou art correct! Gummo, swing down on yond chandelier and capture yond Pimpernel!

  Link Hogthrob (as Gummo) : Why me? I'm not the strong one.

  Scooter (as Porthos) : No, you're the STUPID one!