Chappelle's Show (2003–2006)
Tuck Milligan: Phillip Holston, Prosecutor #2
Quotes
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[jury selection for the Michael Jackson trial]
Prosecutor : You know, he's been accused of this before.
Dave Chappelle : So? Some people say the cucumbers taste better pickled.
Prosecutor : What?
Dave Chappelle : Huh?
Prosecutor : What?
Dave Chappelle : Huh?
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Prosecutor : So, you don't think Michael Jackson is guilty?
Dave Chappelle : No, man. He made "Thriller".
[pause]
Dave Chappelle : Thriller.
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Prosecutor : What if I told you that the accusers correctly described Michael's penis to investigators?
Dave Chappelle : Sir, I have never seen Michael's alleged penis, but I bet you that I can describe it all right? Let me guess... there's a head, a shaft, some balls, hair - maybe pressed, permed hair, with glitter sprinkled on it.
Prosecutor : That's correct.
Dave Chappelle : Whoa... how'd I know? Come on dude, I couldn't pick my own penis out of a line up, all right? And me and penis is like this, son.
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Dave Chappelle : Look, man, look. Michael Jackson has many faces - none of them look guilty to me. You gotta look in the eyes, not the noses.
Prosecutor : He's been accused of this more than once.
Dave Chappelle : So? Some people say that cucumbers taste better pickled.
Prosecutor : What?
Dave Chappelle : Huh?
Prosecutor : What?
Dave Chappelle : Huh?